Wow, this was great!!!!!! It has been so long that I've read a fic where Snape is 100% in-character, and it's so refreshing!! Thank you!! Right to the favourites!!
That. Was. Awesome.
Wow this is such a beautiful and powerful piece, SM. I have ready many Severus Snape fics where the authors try to justify his actions but none of them come nearly close to what you have done. You followed Snape through his first year at Hogwarts to the end of sixth book, detailing and giving us certain parts of his life that help us understand who he is. I could really feel the emotion pouring out of this fic and I felt so horrible and sad for Severus. I didn’t see him as the nasty teacher that I love to hate but as a person – a lost boy looking for someone to trust.
From the beginning, I wasn’t quite sure who was watching Severus like this and that question kept me reading. After a while, it became evident that is was Dumbledore, and who better to do the job.
There are a few things that I noticed that were little mistakes, though.
The surely lad that flinched when I touched his shoulder
I’m guessing that ‘surely’ should be surly or sourly.
and we made little Peter Pettigrew the Secret Keeper.
According to the books, and Rowling, Sirius Black was the secret keeper for the Potters. He gave it up to Peter Pettigrew when he knew that Voldemort would be after him.
His stares, and I stare back.
I’m pretty sure that you meant to put ‘He stares’ instead of ‘His’.
This is an absolutely brilliant piece – very sad but also very beautiful. The occasional ‘His eyes are black’ is a nice addition because we can never tell what Snape is feeling.
A very powerful tale. I love how you focused on his eyes, the windows of his soul. The other phrase that struck a chord was "My death, his redemption." One could take it a step further and perhaps add "his downfall". Whether good or evil, Snape's actions may indeed mark his downfall.
Your talent with quill and parchment is remarkable.
~The Order of Ravenclaw House Elves
(Snape's Talon / Snapes_secret)
What a great take on both Dumbledore and Snape's characters!! I love how Dumbledore indeed has (as he told Tom in HBP) the knack of remembering students as they once were. Also, "My death, his redemption" is a great sentece. Obviously, it sounds quite contradictory, but it makes perfect sense. The way it starts and ends with "his eyes were/are black" is really good, too.
Just a few nitpicky things. At the beginning you wrote "surely" instead of "surly", and also, the way you've written it it sounds like Dumbledore knew Peter was the secret keeper, but he couldn't have, since he was the one who told the Ministry that Sirius had been.
Otherwise - a good characterization and collection of thoughts. Dumbledore is IC, too. :D
Woah. The fic is so powerful. It shows Snape go from good to bad to good again. If this doesn't convince non-belivers, nothing will. Except maybe Jo herself. *Sheads a tear for Dumby* He didn't die for nothing!
I love it! It was very simple and you wrote it very good. I think it was good that it was from Dumbledore´s point of view, and not from Snape´s. 10/10
Whoa! I loved it! It's nice to think that someone was watching over Severus from the very start.
The only thing that I noticed was you said they made Peter the secret keeper, but Dumbledore didn't make him the secret keeper. He didn't even know he had been the secret keeper until years later; he thought it was Sirius.
Anyway, I really did enjoy this. Good job!
I absolutely loved this, and I have to agree with Brier Rose. This one-shot was both beautifully written and horribly sad. Dumbledore’s observations of Snape were spot-on.
The reoccurring, “His eyes were black,” phrase was wonderful, and added something special to your story.
One thing though…
His stares, and I stare back.
I think that shoud be, “He stares,” instead of “His stares.”
Well, great job, and again, thank you for the lovely banner. =]
I simply couldn't resist, after reading some of your excerpts from your upcoming OC Challenge entry, entering a review to any work that you had.
Beautiful ending. Beautiful explanation. I happen to disagree, in the fact that I believe that Severus serves only himself, but you make his switching of sides plausible, along with Dumbledore's unwavering trust in him.
I would have liked if you included the specific words of the Unbreakable Vow in the story. Often, how something is worded will change its effects. :)
I was looking at your BA thread and saw that you were in need of reviews... So I figured... what the heck! I'd give you a 'welcome gift!' But I never expected this.
This is truely a fantastic one shot, here. It's so beautifully written, and horribly sad. : ( But it should be.
And, I've always believed Severus is good, at heart. So I'm very greatful that you've written this 'justification.'
And write something else, already!
Nice take on why Dumbledore trusted Snape. I like your use of language, the whole thing flows very nicely. I must admit that I don't understand the significance of the last line though.