That wasn't bad at all! I've been writing poetry for quite a while, and my stuff's not as good as that! Terrific job. However, the last verse might be better if it was somehow split up into two verses. It's really long compared to the rest of the poem. I'm really being a hypocrite, I know...

Author's Response: Well, I did have to change the rhyme scheme in the last stanza, make it in character for they're Harry's lines, and offer a satisfactory ending there. No disrespect, but I'm afraid I don't want to change it, because that might meen revision of the whole stanza. Phew. Thanks so much for the compliments! :) I'm no poet, but I no poets shouldn't put down their work like that. Have confidence! :)

Ha! I like the last stanza.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. :)

Everything was okay till this :

My wounds give her pleasure, my latent anger glee;
she examines my hand, and tells me to leave.
I obey again; I cringe for that,
but one day, I swear, I’ll take revenge on that rat.

That didn't flow well with the rest.
Just my .03 cents (Inflation)

Author's Response: We-ell.. I had to change the rhyme scheme in that bit.. I'm not sure how I'm going to modify it now. Thanks for the review.