Oh man, Lottie. Is it so hard? :D I suppose for her it is, isn't it and that just adds depth to her character. Wonderful how you bring that out, as well as Andrea's insecurity so well... Really good! Anyway... eek... so many traitors... I wonder what'll happen next and how everything will progress. More traitors? And how did the Death Eaters reach the students? Update soon!
Author's Response: Hahaha thank you so much! I've been working hard to develop their characters some more.
Ooh there are some interesting things coming up. Usually the Death Eaters reached the students through the other students who were Death Eaters. The first students were approached when they were visiting the camps.Thanks so much for your review!
wow and i thought it was only a couple of students. how are they reached by the Death Eaters? well good chapter and update soon.
Author's Response: The Death Eaters are aware of the school (they just can't find it because there's a Fidelius Charm). The other students get approached by the first students who became traitors. Approached or blackmailed. Depending on how willing they are to cooperate. Hehehe...
Thanks so much for the review!'Ponine
I hate cliffies. Nicie Jobbie!
Author's Response: Heehee! *feels evil*
Thanks so much for the review!'Ponine
I love hearing those words out of Lottie's mouth! :D What a hypocrite! :) Anyway, wow, more traitors... I wonder how many there are... And what they're planning next... and whether the traitors are really killed... and what Lottie thinks of that... and what the robes and snakeskin mean... :D The point is, great chapter, with great new twists, please update soooooon! :)
Author's Response: Hahaha thanks so much! Yeah, Lottie is a bit of a hypocrite, but that's why I love her. ^^ I have a good time writing a character who's far from perfect.
Well, you'll definitely hear a lot more about the traitors in the next chapter. And there are quite a few.Thank you SO much for your review!
i was away rfom this site for a few days, and BAM this story is the first to be seen. good chapter, and i guess it'd make sense for there to be more traitors. do they have to sneak out of the school to deliver info? just curious. anyway update soon.
Author's Response: Hahaha I love it when it's on the recent additions list! <3
The traitors mostly sneak out when they go to visit the Camps, but occasionally they get out of school. Getting away from the school is a lot harder than getting away from the camps, though.Thanks so much for the review!
Is it important that Lottie's birthday is in July? Does that mean the prophecy was really about her? Because whatever spirits or powers send prophecies would be really ancient, so when they said the one with the power "approaches" they could have meant a century or two. Am I completely off?
PS: Fantabulawesome :)
Author's Response: Hee thanks for the review! I wouldn't say it's that important - no. The reason her birthday is in July is because I looked up the "name day" for her full name, Charlotte - it turned out to be July 17, I don't think I could plot a prophecy to apply to someone else; that sounds extremely complicated. Hahaha. But your idea is really cool - I hadn't even thought of that!
Don't worry though, there's still a lot of things that are different about her that makes her the main character of the story.Thanks so much for the review!
Eek! Falling prey to dark magic? Creepy! But a great plot twist! I can't wait to see where this goes and to find out the significance of the those robes and the snakeskin! Update soon!!! I really liked this chapter, seeing Lottie's adventurous nature come out once again and lead to trouble (once again... :D). I can't wait for another update!
Author's Response: Ooh I'm glad you picked up on the snakeskin and the robes because they will be important. <.< >.> <.<
Thanks so much for the review!'Ponine
intersting expedition that Lottie had. I hope to find out what's behind all this soon.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! You'll find out soon!
All traitors? Woah... I hope we find out more about them! And what happens to traitors... And about that key! So many loose ends... Great chapter though! I really love Lottie and Andrea, the feast scene was very cute, even though the rest of the chapter was rather dark. It's brilliant how you pull that combination off! Update soon!
Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!
Yeah, the school is a lot darker than Lottie as a first year realized. There may even be more traitors than anyone thought.Haha I had a very good time writing the feast scene -- it reminded me of when you're the second oldest in high school and you really think that you just rule the school when you don't.
Thank you SO much for the review!Eponine
this is basically just a parallel of the harry potter stories. If your gonna make a new school, you shouldn't make it the generic version of hogwarts. and the whole alley thing was another mediocre attempt to try and recreate jk's world
Author's Response: Thanks for your criticism, but next time could you try to make it a bit more constructive? I'm always open to constructive criticism. =)
It's actually quite different from Hogwarts in several ways. The Sorting is based on talent, not on personality, and the heads of the school pretty much have complete control over everything the students do because there is no government. The school is a lot darker than Hogwarts; it's completely geared towards fighting a war instead of actually trying to teach people things.This isn't a recreation of Jo's world; I'm using it to write my own fanfic, so in a way it's a good thing that it's like hers. The alley is a lot like Hogwarts. But if you think about it, there isn't a more convenient way to get clothes, wands, books and toiletries to students. Plus, the heads who invented the school went to Hogwarts and that's all they know.
Thanks again for your review, if it's constructive, I'd be happy to hear anything you have to say about future chapters!Eponine
even with the Fidelius Charm (read one of your review responses)the bad guys are getting in. not the best start for the new year at Alesmore.
Author's Response: The girls were already in the school, and then they became Death Eaters, so they had already heard the secret. They weren't planted spies, so to speak; they were "converted" students.
But I agree. Not a very good start to the school year. Thanks so much for your review!Eponine
great story. Very original and exciting. Update soon please
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Chapter twelve is with the beta so it won't be too long!
Wow. Talk about a gruesome place! The relationship between Lottie and Andrea is great, though! I love both characters and how they really need each other to stay in check. Plus, I like how you added in a little teensy bit from the prologue there at the end! I hope the teachers' past comes up more, and this is a brilliant fic! I can't wait for the next update!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yeah, the place is pretty horrible - Lottie just never noticed it until she left. Hahaha Lottie and Andrea are an interesting pair. They bicker, but they definitely need each other.
Oh, you'll be seeing more of the teachers' pasts - especially Stainthorpe!Thanks so much for the review!
it was a good chapter. and i liked how the rescue was exaggerated--reminded me of Ron after the second task.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
Haha I had a bit of Ron in mind too when I was writing it. ^^Thanks for the review!
It's so short! *sniff* Brilliant, otherwise though! I really liked this chapter! You really see more of Lottie and Andrea's characters! Will we find out what the Death Eaters were doing at the school, though? I can't wait to know!
And it was great how Lottie saved Andrea. It was so brave but it was still realistic that an 11-year-old had done it! I can't wait for the next update!
Author's Response: Haha sorry I couldn't add any more to this chapter. ^^;;
Well, the Death Eaters didn't really know they were near the school. They can't see the school, because the Secret Keeper never told them where it was. They know that the school exists, but they just can't see it.Thanks so much for your review!
not a bad chapter at all. i was expecting a hoard of Death Eaters blasting their way through, but mindless violence doesn't make a good story by itself. keep at it.
Author's Response: Thanks a million! Well the Death Eaters probably would come blasting through the school, if they knew it existed. Luckily, Alsemore has a Secret Keeper, so it was just a coincidence that they ended up so close to the school.
Thanks so much for the review!Eponine
Eek. Cliffhanger... evil...
Anyway... Wow. I just read through all ten chapters, and this fic is really good! It's such an original idea! I love your portrayal of the world under Voldemort (well... it's bad, actually, the world, but you know what I mean...).
Lottie is such a believable oc, as are all of the others. The way this school is similar to Hogwarts, and yet quite different is great, too!
Oh, and your writing style is brilliant. The plot is suspenseful. Really, a great fic! Everything good fanfiction should have! And Julianne's crush (well, I'm assuming that's what it is) is cute... :D I can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Hehehe cliffhangers are my favorite things to write!
Oh wow! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Hah, I know what you mean about Voldemort's world. Sometimes I'm writing and I think how cool it would be to be in Lottie's world, before coming to my senses and realizing that a world run by Voldemort is definitely not desirable.Thank you so much for your review! It's really brightened my day!
Great chapter, as usual. But I just have to say: Holy crap!!! Death Eaters?! This is not good...
Um, quick question... how do you pronounce Palmyitor? "Pall-my-i-tore," "pal-mee-tore," "pall-mee-i-tore"...
Heh... Every time I see the name Lottie in this story I think ofThe Phantom of the Opera... 'Little Lottie thought of everything and nothing. Little Lottie thought, "Am I fonder of dolls or goblins, of riddles or frocks, or of chocolates? No, what I love best," Lottie said, "is when I'm asleep in my bed, and the Angel of Music sings songs in my head, the Angel of Music sings songs in my head..."' Sorry... I'm obsessed with POTO... and Godspell, but that's another story.
Anywho, again, great chapter, and looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Hahaha! You can say that again! *Cackles*
Hahaha, I can't tell you how many people can't pronounce Palmyitor. Even one of my betas can't figure it out. I think it's what you're thinking for the first one. "Pal" like another word for friend. "My" like "my [insert random object here]." The sound "i" like the I sound in "it" and "fit" and then "tore" like "to give a tour."Wow that was really grammatically incorrect. I hope you understand it anyway!
Hah! I'm only a little familiar with Phantom of the Opera, but I know the song you're talking about. When it comes to British mega-musicals, Les Mis is my favorite. =D I don't know much about Godspell either. I've only heard a few songs. I could talk about musicals for hours.Thanks so much for the review!
uh-oh! heck of a line to end a chapter with. update soon.
Author's Response: Hahahahah! I feel evil! I'll update as soon as I can!
Thanks for the review!Eponine
Quite a fabulous chapter, if I do say myself. ^^ It's a joy for me to beta, every single time.
Author's Response: Aw thanks so much le bird! Hahaha every single time 'til we're working in that deli, eh?
Thanks for the review!Ponine