Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/21/08 23:38
Chapter: Chapter Ten: The Lockdown

Maybe Lottie is going to be the Harry of her time.

Author's Response: Interesting thought!

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/21/08 22:37
Chapter: Chapter Six: The Somber Spirit

I like this interesting twist. Moaning Myrtle should be able to tell some very interesting stories

Author's Response: Thanks!

Eponine

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/21/08 21:39
Chapter: Chapter Five: Alsemore

A well thought out storyline, very detailed and believeable.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Eponine

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/21/08 21:16
Chapter: Chapter Four: The Ivory Table

Progressing well.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/21/08 20:44
Chapter: Chapter Two: The Invitation

Good story, believeable plotline.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Eponine

Reviewer: Ashlynne
Date: 10/25/08 12:51
Chapter: Chapter Sixteen: Neville Longbottom

Why is Dark Magic spelt: "Darke Magick"

Author's Response: It's spelled like that because it's a very old book. In a time before the English language had a standard spelling for everything, people just sort of spelt things the way they thought it sounded.

Thanks for the review!

Eponine

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 10/18/08 15:18
Chapter: Chapter Thirty-Two: A Practical Lesson in Legilimency

Oh geez. Poor Lottie. Too bad they don't have classes for interpersonal relationships...she could use some people skills.

Author's Response: LOL! Fantastic point! Hahahaha!

Thanks for the review!

Eponine

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 09/07/08 19:35
Chapter: Chapter Thirty-One: The Dueling Tutor

Ooh la la! Francois! Now THERE'S a good reason to speak French...

Author's Response: Hahahah! You got THAT right. Thanks for the review! Eponine

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 07/27/08 12:31
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Nine: Hermione's Tale

Yay Neville! Yay Hermione! Yay reforming the order! This was a really interesting chapter to read.

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope it explained a bit!

Thanks for the review!

Eponine

Reviewer: mjlittleguy
Date: 07/13/08 20:25
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

"Here apon the stones we will build our barricade..."

Author's Response: Good catch. =)rnrn

Thanks for the review!

rnEponine

Reviewer: GryffKat
Date: 07/13/08 18:07
Chapter: Prologue

FYI, I left you a review regarding the same bit of dialogue at HPFF as I wasn't sure where you read the most. i am glad you didn't think I was being harsh. Just so you know I have been pimping your story on the various Potter lists I am on. I do think it is that good. Origonal story, great origonal characters, great world even if it is pretty grim. Well done, Cheers!

Author's Response: Ahh thanks so much! I'll go respond to that one too! I check them both about the same, but I got an email regarding this one.rnrn

Thanks so much! And thanks for pointing that out! And hopefully it won't happen again. xD

rnEponinernrnPS. You left my 100th review! Yay!

Reviewer: GryffKat
Date: 07/13/08 15:27
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

I want to tell you right off that I do like the story and don’t want to come off as harsh but sorry I am totally confused on the last dialogue run that closes the chapter.

I think Ravenclaw_ Soprano has it right. There is a dialogue error in the last exchange. You did use “Hermione said” where it should be “Stainthorpe said”. You also use “Hermione went on” when it should be “Stainthorpe went on”.

You are still in Stainthorpe’s voice in that bit of dialogue as you had not done the reveal of Hermione's name yet. You actually blew a great bit of good writing and suspense with some sloppy copy editing because you brought up Hermione prior to the shocking final reveal of Neville asking the question “Hermione?”.

I have read it and ran it through a French translator multiple times to see if I am wrong and each time it is just plain confusing.

If you intended it the way it is posted, it takes away the punch of the reveal.

With all due respect, it begs to be corrected.

Check out the below and correct me if I am mistaken. The caps are for emphasis so you can see what I am referring to not for yelling or scolding.


“Est-ce que c’est la Maison de Monsieur Victor K. Lontelles?” Stainthorpe asked. VOICE OF STAINTHORPE

The man eyed her suspiciously. “Oui,” he said. VOICE OF NEVILLE

“Je suis Professor Marianne Stainthorpe. Je suis partie de la révolution anglaise—Alsemore Academy.” VOICE OF STAINTHORPE, YES?

“Qui sont-elles?” The man pointed at Lottie and Andrea with his wand. Lottie wrapped her fingers around her own. VOICE OF NEVILLE, YES?


“Des étudiantes. Lottie Rowe et Andrea Woolbright. Elles sont ici avec moi parce qu’elles ont découvert quelque chose d’important,” Hermione said.
DON’T YOU MEAN STAINTHORPE SAID STILL AT THIS POINT? AREN’T YOU STILL USING STAINTHORPE’S “VOICE” HERE?


Lontelles furrowed his brow and squinted. Hermione went on,
DON’T YOU MEAN STAINTHORPE WENT ON? AGAIN, AREN’T YOU STILL USING STAINTHORPE’S “VOICE” HERE?


“Est-ce que vous connaîssez quelqu’un qui s’appelle Neville Longbottom?”

Lontelles stared at Stainthorpe, who smiled knowingly back at him. His eyes grew wide and he took a step out of the doorframe.

“Hermione?” VOICE OF NEVILLE

Also, a translation at the end of the text of the French would have been a nice and considerate touch so readers didn’t have to go to an online translator.

I couldn’t translate this sentence. Stainthorpe went on, You connaîssez quelqu’un that is called Neville Longbottom?”

Let me know what you think.

Author's Response: PIERHJFGOWIEUDJKCLSBHIRUEFIDJclsrnrn

HOW DID I NOT CATCH THAT? OH MY HUGO NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT RAVENCLAW_SOPRANO WAS SAYING. *Inner angst* That was so stupid. So. So. Stupid. It's one of those things that I changed in my final draft and didn't send to my beta and AGHAHSGDLIWHJAFHIVLADJBKGDHFSX.

rnrn*Heavy sigh* Well, thank you and Ravenclaw_Soprano for pointing that out. It's so embarrassing that I still have errors like that. I'm going to edit that right away. Aaahhhh I'm so dumb! I can't believe I did that. AGAHGGHG. Okay. I'm going to edit that now.rnrn

Thanks so much for the review! I don't know what I would have done without that. Hahaha. And for the French translation--that's a good idea, I'll probably do it for the next chapter. I didn't put anything too important in the French, but it didn't occur to me that people would probably still want to know what it said.

rnrnThanks for the review!rn

Eponine

Reviewer: b_c
Date: 07/11/08 7:28
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

Great twist, I would've never seen that coming. This story has been fabulous so far, and I enjoy reading it every time. I'm really excited for more now!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Heehee--I wonder if people might remember some clues I might have dropped now. =Drnrn

Thanks for the review!

rnEponine

Reviewer: cocomaloco
Date: 07/10/08 18:03
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

oh wow! what a twist! im loving the story, c'est fantastique! can't wait for the next chapter =D

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!rn

Eponine

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 07/10/08 17:16
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

WOAH DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! Omg that's awesome! Yay!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Hahahah thanks so much! ^_^rn

Eponine

Reviewer: Helen_Porter
Date: 07/10/08 15:01
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

Simply amazing

Author's Response: Thank you so much!rn

Eponine

Reviewer: lostinside1
Date: 07/10/08 7:51
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

Now I was NOT expecting that!!! Good one! :)

Now I'm going to have to re-read what I read last week to pick up the hints I must have missed. lol

Author's Response: Teehee. ^_^rnrn

Thanks for the review!

rnEponine

Reviewer: Ravenclaw_Soprano
Date: 07/10/08 7:26
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

Wow. Out of curiosity, did you mean to use "Hermione" in the last paragraph? You have "Hermione said" when you haven't told us that connection yet.

Again, wow. I'm really enjoying this story and I can't wait until you update again.

~Lauren

Author's Response: I did mean to have "Hermione" in the last paragraph. It's Neville's dialogue, not anyone else's. Sorry if that isn't clear!rnrn

Thanks for the review!

rnEponine

Reviewer: Lyratearsx
Date: 07/10/08 4:34
Chapter: Chapter Twenty-Eight: Arrival in Paris

Wow. I am stunned.

Brilliant!

~Lyra

Author's Response: Hahah! Thanks for the review!rn

Eponine

Reviewer: lostinside1
Date: 07/01/08 14:33
Chapter: Prologue

thanks for the beginning of the story. I think I'm going to re-read it now because I can vaguely remember it now and feel the need to know it in as much detail as I do all the other stories I've read. :)

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