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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: HazeyHero (Signed) · Date: 01/09/11 6:42 · For: Prologue
awesome update the next chapter please and please don't kill off Severus lol. Sometimes I wondered if Severus will find out that Hermione is in love with him.


Name: magichick123 (Signed) · Date: 04/01/09 15:03 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
wow
i really like it so far
love the flashbacks
please dont kill severus
i saw there was a character death warning
but im a massive ss/hg fan
dont kill him off. =]
x
magichick123


Name: Nohope118 (Signed) · Date: 07/27/08 17:28 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
There are way to many flashbacks.
Usually by the third chapter something happens but I guess you decided to do something totally..uhm,unique?


Name: Pels (Signed) · Date: 05/19/08 15:27 · For: Prologue
Hey! When will the next chapter be out? its definately worth writing on so please!


Name: slytherindutchess (Signed) · Date: 04/13/08 7:51 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
really interesting. update soon


Name: Livvy_Severus (Signed) · Date: 02/08/08 10:55 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
Ooohhh I totally can't wait for more!


Name: teresaschultz06 (Signed) · Date: 02/04/08 14:30 · For: Prologue
i've heard of that animal before.. It's also a gang... Somewhere in New York I believe.


Name: Pels (Signed) · Date: 01/05/08 17:44 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
great! get with this great story! (oh, i sound like Malfoy, pardon me) can you write more on this wonderfull story? please? i really liked it


Name: Insecurity (Signed) · Date: 11/12/07 12:42 · For: Prologue

Hey! I have a renewed interest in Snape romances all of a sudden (very sudden and rather unexpected, but there you go) and I came across your story. It starts off strongly. I can certainly understand her woes over thinking someone was trustworthy and then suddenly discovering theyíre not. Her restlessness and tears are very understandable. I liked how you incorporated the flashback into her taking a breath of fresh air outside. Her reflections on the past year, the way her priorities changed and worries increased was very well articulated. I do have some concerns, though, with the way you Ďrush iní to a romantic setting between Hermione and Snape.

First of all, I doubt Hermione would throw her arms around Snape given any circumstance. I know Gemma flagged this up, and you urged how it was due to her distress from facing a Chimaera, however you really needed to develop this scene a lot more in order to make it believable. Snape would certainly not have been overly friendly with her, after meeting her in the corridors after hours. One of the strongest features of this pairing is that youíre dealing with two very introverted people, who are very smart but also very cautious of human affection. The main thrill is exploring the way they develop their relationship from mutual contempt, to mutual admiration, to requited love. Donít rush it, otherwise it loses the effect.

Furthermore, I noticed a couple of comma usage blips. Sorry, Iím a stickler for grammar! First of all, here: ĒAre you all right Miss Granger?Ē You need a comma between right and Miss Granger, because when addressing someone directly in this way you must always separate out their name. Secondly, But it didnít lessen the pain that surrounded her, it didnít help her forget. Here you have two independent clauses joined with a comma, when it should be a semi-colon. I know you probably already know this, but itís these simple things that are easy to forget when writing or editing, so keep a keen eye out.

Otherwise, itís shaping up to be a very good story. I wonder if she will try and contact him Ö

:-)

Laura


Author's Response: Thank you! I need to go through and reread this fic. I am sure I will pick up those little comma mistakes then. This is the first fic I ever wrote... well, started writing. It was a LONG time ago. I think I may take the whole thing down and rewrite it, I know it needs it. Anyway, thank you for your input! ~Leah


Name: snape_aholic13 (Signed) · Date: 08/30/07 4:30 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
That's really good!
Update soon!

Author's Response: :D Thanks! The next chapter is in the works!


Name: Livvy_Severus (Signed) · Date: 07/22/07 0:24 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
Oh my gosh. This is the best Hermione/Snape story I have ever read. I can so feel the tension and the emotion between these 2 characters. Can't wait to read more.

Livvy
xoxo

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I am working on the next chapter!


Name: KathZ (Signed) · Date: 07/16/07 19:36 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
GHASPPPPP!!!!
Pweze post the next chapter soon!!!!!
( I don't mean to be SO rude... )

Author's Response: *giggles* I shall try to have it soon.


Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 07/10/07 8:37 · For: Chapter 5 - Azkaban
Poor Hermione... She misses him so much!

Author's Response: ...she gets to see him soon.


Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 07/10/07 8:33 · For: Chapter 4-Cups and Snakes
Haha! He's in Azkaban! lol. He deserves it after stealing all of that stuff.

Author's Response: Yes, well, crime never pays!


Name: KneazleWeazl (Signed) · Date: 07/09/07 12:43 · For: Prologue
OMG HE IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER!!! I mean im liking the story but that just took me totally by surprise!

Author's Response: Err...Thanks?


Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 07/09/07 11:31 · For: Chapter 3 - The Search Begins
That's sad! She wants to be w/ him, but she can't! And I LOVE Wal-Mart!!

Author's Response: *giggles* I love it too! Thanks for reading!


Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 07/09/07 11:22 · For: Chapter 2 - Burning Potions
Why'd he have to do that to her? So mean!

Author's Response: Yes, I know. Thank you for reading!


Name: FordPrefectZaphod (Signed) · Date: 07/04/07 17:56 · For: Prologue
I read the first chapter out of curiosity as to how any author could make Hermione/Snape in the HPB even remotely believable. While this is well written, Snape and Hermione are so out of canon-character, it just doesn't seem possible. Call it my narrow-mindedness.

Author's Response: Everyone has their own opinion! I try to keep them in character.


Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 07/04/07 10:27 · For: Prologue
yay!! I love HG/SS!!

Author's Response: YAY! Thanks for reading!


Name: mrs_weasley (Signed) · Date: 04/07/07 7:44 · For: Chapter 4-Cups and Snakes
wow! This is great!
It's not a simple soppy romance, it's really good!
I absolutely love it!
It's a lovely change from the usual Snape/Hermione fic!

More sil vous plait?


mrs_weasley
xxxx

Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter is with my beta's! It shall be up soon!


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