Whoa... way to jump off a cliff, Kasumi... This was a wonderful story. I feel bad for Remus... Even though he doesn't know it, he has to share Sirius' heart with another person. Awww... All in all, this story had a good plot line. it amused me that Sirius knew nothing about Japan. I even knew what sake and sushi were. Gosh, Sirius, don't you read? The end was so sad! Kasumi could have started over and had a good life! Darn flower... reminding her life is short... The quote at the end of the story finishes it so nicely.
So, I'll say once again... You have so much writing talent... I love your stories. (Which is probably why I'm reading all of them and leaving these reviews, huh?)
Author's Response: "Whoa... way to jump off a cliff, Kasumi" hahaha, that made me laugh out loud. I wouldn't feel bad for Remus, Sirius is in love with him. Sure, he kissed Kasumi but he's not in love with her. he just has really strong feelings towards her. "Gosh, Sirius, don't you read?" LOL, I thought that making Sirius completely ignorant would add a little humour to the fic and apparently it did. Thanks you so much for the compliments *flushes* I love your reviews!
That's a beautiful story. The detail is wonderful and I think you've done a brilliant job.
Author's Response: Thank you!
This story was great! *adds to favourites*
I shall now officially ship Sirius/Kasumi, heehee.
I loved how you portrayed Yoshiro and Kasumi's relationship, because that kind of thing happened a lot in Japan a few decades ago.
I think you wrote Japan beautifully! I've never been to Hokkaido myself, but I know some of the names of cities etc...and it wasn't stereotype!Japan with Samurai running about and all that jazz. It was modern, but the traditional culture was blended in perfectly.
Going back to the actual story rather than me ranting about Japan, it's bloody brilliant!
The backstory of the sword is realistic, and I think the way you wrote the Sui Temple was very....Japanese-y, if you get what I mean. The attack of the water demon was very scary, and poor Kasumi, she must have been scared out of her wits!
I don't usually read slash, but the Remus/Sirius you wrote was a nice read, and I didn't have any problems with it whatsoever ;)
The last part of your story was sad, but beautiful. I really do ship Sirius/Kasumi.
I think we got to see a bit of Sirius's pre-Azkaban matureness and kindness, which was brilliant!
Oops, looks like I've ranted....not a SPEW-long-rich review, sorry, but I loved your story to bits. Full-stop.
Heehee. Dawn is a Kasumi fangirl.
Author's Response: *breathes in relief* I was really worried that I wouldn't get your aproval since you're Japanese. You have no idea how glad I am that you liked it. I did a lot of research for this fic and I've always been a HUGE Japanese culture fan, so it made only sense that I wrote a story about it. I'm very happy you liked Kasumi, she liked you too! Lol. Thanks you so very much for this review! *huggles*
I loved Sirius in this chapter - his Gryffindor qualities and his own characteristics really came out in this, when he dived in to help his friend without a second thought for his own safety.
Aw - bless Kasumi! She's so strong putting up with not feeling good enough for her husband, and not doing anything about him and her sister.
"However, it was worst that he had thought." Should that be; 'However, it was worse than he had thought.' ?
Sirius' characteristics and bravery show through again when he defends Kasumi, and knew that he couldn't leave without doing something. Again, I really loved him in this chapter.
"Kasumi wished that the heavy rain could wash away her sorrow. " That is such a sad, sweet line. I wish it could too!
Oh my gosh - the ending! It was so sad, so sweet! I can't believe it - why didn't she go with him?! Okay, I know why, but still! A truly lovely fic, with all the right components to it, humour, morale and many, many emotions provoked throughout - well done!
Author's Response: I guess Sirius was very Gryffindorish in this chapter :P Sometimes, I wish also that the rain would wash away y sorrows, my problems are not as bad as Kasumi's, but still XD I'm very happy you liked this fic, I really put a lot of effort int it. *Loves Kiara reviews* Thank you so much! You make my days with your reviews!
I really like all of the subtle explanations of how things are different in Japan, like the mattress on the floor and the description of the city. You point them out without being obvious, which is really good.
"Love comes in many different forms and shapes, but at the end, it’s all the same. It is just love.”" That is such a wonderful line! My favourite so far! Ooh - what did the old woman at the shop say?! I can't imagine Sirius not wanting to know - and I want to know too!
Gosh - Kasumi sure is wise - "It’s a reminder for all of us that life is short, yet it’s beautiful." Those are some really great lines which definitely have an impact.
"long wide pants" That would be trousers in England - but I'm not sure what in Japan! From Sirius' point of view it would be trousers anyway.
Gosh! What a way to end a chapter! I'm off to find out what happens now!!
Author's Response: I'v always had a fascination for the Japanese culture, so writing this fic was a real treat. It was such a great writing excersice becuase I had to describe it, I couldn't ignore it like I do in "Ariel", I mean they're in Hogwarts, I don't need to describe it everyone knows how it looks like, but here I didn't have other choice and it was a good excersize. I totally forgot to put what the woman said, she said "Sexy Foreigner" I smacked myself for forgetting that. Sorry about the pants thing, I keep forgeting that in england they're called trousers not pants, silly me. Thanks for the review!
I liked your characterization of Remus and Sirius right from the start, they really showed what we already know of them - how Sirius is more upfront and brazen whereas Remus is more cautious and knows that people might not be so accepting.
Ha! Sirius jumping into the water by mistake made me laugh, as I just wasn't expecting it! How like Sirius - again in character - to do things fast pace - then muck up! I loved your description of the dragon a lot.
Why does Katashi like to torture Sirius so much? I mean, fun as it is to see him get irate, he doesn't even know him! Is that just part of Katashi's character, or does he have a motive...?!
Aha! So there isn't a motive - it's just what Katashi's like. Why is that? Do we find out? The Japanese names are difficult to keep track of - at one point I wondered why Katashi was being referred to as a beautiful wife! :-p You know, I'm not sure how Kasumi managed to hold her laughter in - I couldn't and I was only reading about it!
Overall a great first chapter - I'm intrigued! Sirius was really well in character, with all his outspokenness and bravery in a new country. You've definitely left me wanting to find out what happens next!
Author's Response: I'm so happy you decided to review this fic!!! It was hungry for reviews:) I LOOOVE Sirius and Remus, well you already know that, hehe. They're so much fun to write. I didn't want Sirius to hump on the dragon just like that, I know he's powerful and all, but that's a dificult thing to do for the first time, even for Sirius. Katashi is just like that, he likes to torture people. "at one point I wondered why Katashi was being referred to as a beautiful wife!" LOL, that made me laugh so much. Don't worry about the names, I had a hard time keeping track of them also and I was the one writing >.> Thaks for the review!
I liked how you incorporate emotion into this chapter. I also like dthe bits of Japanese culture thrown into the mix (raw fish, haha, poor Sirius). I like your characterization; you really set the lines of good/bad people in the story right off the bat. The only question I have is maybe you're making the character a little bit flat right now...i mean, characters can't be all evil - even Voldemort has some humanity (the pain caused by his parents' deaths) in him.
However, it's only the first chapter, so I'm sure you've added depth to everyone later on in the story.
The only issue I had was keeping track of some of the Japanese names. That's not your fault...I'm generally bad with names, even English ones. :)
P.S. This is your complimentary review from me. Thanks for entering our In-House challenge!
Author's Response: Well this is the first chapter you can't expect all the characters to be perfectly fleshed out. You give me the example of Voldemort, but we didn't know why Voldemort was so evil until HBP came out. Before that he was a pretty flat character. Don't worry about the names, i had a hard time keeping track of them also. Thanks for the review!
A very nice first chapter, Purplemage. I like the way you introduce it, it has a very chill, eager feel to it, which goes along nicely with the purpose of the scene.
A couple things caught my eye and didn’t quite seem right though: The only thing lighting that somber and cold winter night were the lights of the city in the distance. This sentence is a little off because you say ‘thing’ as in singular and then ‘were’ as in plural. It would be better as: “The only things lighting that somber …”
The only other part that seemed off to me was this:“I bring the foreigner with me,”
Throughout the rest of the chapter, Katashi seems to speak English very well. So the fact that he says ‘bring’ instead of ‘brought’ destroys the well-spoken sternness he has had up until this point.
That aside, I thought you characters were very creative and well thought-out. I especially like the coldness you give Katashi and the gentle personality of Yuudai Inoue. Though I must admit I was a little confused by the ending when Yoshiro and Hanako kissed.
Overall, a very promising chapter. Your creativity is sure to do you loads of good in this fic, Purplemage. Good luck!
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing those things out, I'll go fix them. Sometimes things slip from my BETA and me. I'm glad you liked my characterization, it's hard to write characters from a diferent culture. You'll have to keep reading to find out what Hanako and Yoshiro are up to ;) Thank you for the lovely review!
Wow! You are an excellent author. This is the third fic of yours that i've read, and i love them all.
Remus/Sirius is my favorite ship, and i have read all the other r/s fics so many times. it's always nice to see a new one out there.
i really think you did a good job on describing their culture, not that i'm an expert or anything.
Author's Response: *Throws confetti* First review for Sakura!! Thank you so much for your compliments *blushes* As much as I love the Remus/Sirius ship, This isn't a story about them, this is something else. I'm seeing that all the research has paid off! Thanks for the review! PS: The second chapter is with the BETA