Reviews For The Cloak
Reviewer: bertiebott12
Date: 06/26/07 11:21
Chapter: The Cloak

I thought that you did a great job! It was very believable, and a good theory. At first I thought that James might have left it with Sirius, but he was his Secret-Keeper, so that was a bad idea. The change was made so quickly that he probably just left it with Peter. Your use of adjectives and verbs weren't overwhelming, as in some fics they are. You picked the right ones to use, and where to use them. You must have referred back to the first back to capture what they did that night so thoroughly. Great job! It was great, as most of your fics are, even though most of them are about Snape! :)
*Claire*

Reviewer: MithrilQuill
Date: 08/20/06 17:31
Chapter: The Cloak

For some reason this almost made me cry...almost, but I still hate Pettigrew too much to let him do that to me...;p


lol...anyways I really liked the idea of Peter giving it to him because it adds a little hmmm...confusion to his personality. It's not easy to throw away and forget such a friendship as that of the marauders and it seems that Peter regrets it perhaps?


What I felt needed an explanation was the part where he helped with norbert and stuff. I would think he's too far gone to try and help Harry that much, but that's just me...


The ending line was excellent. I began suspect it was Peter as soon as you mentioned the house thing and how they thought he belonged there, but it needed that conslusion to confirm it in my mind.


An excellent AU fic, thanks for a great read!

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 08/14/06 19:48
Chapter: The Cloak

Hmmmm... facinating conclusion. Obviously, Dumbledore did give him the cloak, but Peter as the gifter is a good theory. Although I would wonder why Peter would want to give Harry anything if he is still a Death Eater. But then again, giving it to Harry does give him more liberties, such as gaining information Peter could use.... *ponders* This fic really makes me think. Good work!

Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 06/29/06 8:53
Chapter: The Cloak

And interesting insight to Harry infamous Cloak! It started off well, and the strength of the idea, and of the plot didn’t waver throughout the fic. It’s great to have a different perspective on things, if brings up a lot of “what if’s”.

I only had a couple small nit-picks “…he recognized James Potter’s son…” The British version (*Sorry, Britpicking is a bad habit of mine) is spelt with an ‘s’, like most British words. You’ll find that although you write ‘s’, your spell check may change it to a ‘z’ in Auto format, which I find mine does all the time. You can set you Spell check to British US English, or you can go through and find all the words containing American spelling.

Something that occurred to me about halfway though was the handwriting. Who would have through Peter’s writing would be curly and neat? It’s an interesting attribute to his character – sneaky, neat. Overall, I thought it was a ‘short but sweet’ fic, and I’m glad I took the time to read it.

Reviewer: Rita Writer
Date: 06/04/06 22:13
Chapter: The Cloak

Hehe... Overanalyzing something that’s right under our noises sounds like something I would do. But it did make for a lovely story, didn’t it?


I have to admire how you wrote this — how you made the reader wait until the very end to discover who the secret person was. It really did make me want to finish it as soon as I started. And you did a good job of tip-toeing over certain details. He closed his beady eyes again and feigned sleep while he thought of a plan. He was good at that - everyone thought he was ALWAYS asleep. I also noticed how he kept referring to Voldemort as the Dark Lord. Probably my favorite is, ...made short work of scampering off the property unnoticed.


I’m afraid that I don’t quite understand why Pettigrew gave Harry the cloak (and i thought it important to point out since that is the main plot). I mean, it would have been much easier for him to keep it, wouldn’t it have? I sort of wish we could have heard more about why Peter of all people held the cloak for James, but I think you did a great job of telling us that without giving away Pettigrew’s identity.


I’m glad you added the bit with Hagrid and the dragon; it told us that the story was moving on and gave us an bit of an insight on Peter’s views. There are a couple of nit-picks I’d like to point out, however: Peter referred to Hermione as a Mudblood, and Hagrid as “oafish”. This is typical for Death Eaters because of their views, but we are supposed to get the impression that Pettigrew only became a Death Eater out of fear of Voldemort, not because he agreed with the cause. I would guess that he would refer to Hermione as being Muggleborn, and he might even like Hagrid (though I suppose we can’t be too sure about the latter).


I really do think this is well written; you’ve got a nice word choice in a lot of places. Entering the domicile utterly unnoticed (as far as they were concerned he belonged here anyway), he ran lightly up the flights of stairs to the attic. Wonderful description.


This was very nicely done — well written and thought out. Also, I must give you props for originality. I can almost guarantee that there are no others fics out there quite like this one. Well done!




Author's Response: Oh boy. You wanna see overanalysation? Go to my LJ. I'm obsessed. ;) Heh. I'm glad you liked those litlte details, I did try hard on those. :) Someone else, somewhere else, asked the same thing, why would Peter give Harry the cloak after all. Well, see, I didn't know that. I just knew that he had the cloak, and I was convinced that it wasn't Dumbledore who gave it to him, so I had to figure out who had motive, means and opportunity TO give it to him. Peter would have had it at all to begin with because he was the Secret Keeper, and needed to be hidden. Only, in reality, he didn't actually have the cloak. Now, this gets into a whole other theory of mine (PM me on the boards or hit me on LJ if you like; I'm CMWinters both places) of why the devil didn't James keep the cloak to start with. But yeah. I'm not sure of Peter's motivations. I think they were personal, myself, and I think - well, I think lots of thigns about Peter, very few of which are very complimentary to him. ;) Again, we can go into that all off-line, if you like. ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This was a great review - the best one I've recieved of any of my reviews on any archive! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Zoeellen990
Date: 06/02/06 13:16
Chapter: The Cloak

I don't really get it.. he got the cloak from Sirius I thought... And after that I thought the plot was a tad scatter-brained, and the style of writing was sort of.. I don't know..shallow? Like it hardly skimmed the surface. Or at least that's what I felt. I'm sure your other stories would suit me better. :D

Author's Response: Nope. He actually got the cloak from Dumbledore. Dumbledore admitted to having given it to Harry at the end of PS when Harry was in the hospital wing. Actually, the writing on this one was supposed to be shallow. But if you think that about my other stories, please do comment on why, because I don't want to be shallow in general. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Zoeellen990
Date: 06/02/06 13:12
Chapter: The Cloak

I don't really get it.. he got the cloak from Sirius I thought... And after that I thought the plot was a tad scatter-brained, and the style of writing was sort of.. I don't know..shallow? Like it hardly skimmed the surface. Or at least that's what I felt. I'm sure your other stories would suit me better. :D

Author's Response: Actually...he got the cloak from Dumbledore. In SS when he's discussing Quirrellmort with Dumbledore, Harry asks him and Dumbledore admits it. This plot was *supposed* to be shallow. ;) Do review the other stories, though. :)

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 05/23/06 20:31
Chapter: The Cloak

interesting... i'm not sure how you missed the fact that dumbledore gave him the cloak but i must say i'm glad you did... this story is really a good take on peter's character

Author's Response: I missed it because I was on a speed-re-read of things and that wasn't what I was looking for when I re-read them. I wish I could take credit for the idea that Peter had the cloak - alas, it was not me that came up with it. But certainly I loved the idea. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Gonz
Date: 05/23/06 20:16
Chapter: The Cloak

The whole time I was reading this I was trying to figure out why it was AU. I liked how you the words oafish and mudblood, it really made me think that Dumbledore wasn't sounding right. Then you dropped the bomb that it was Peter, nice job.

Author's Response: Thank you for saying that it was canonically compliant - that is probably one of the highest compliments you could pay me. "Oaf" is something that Voldemort, the Death Eaters and their children use to describe Hagrid - as near as I can tell, it's the only time the word appears in the series. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: black_ink
Date: 05/23/06 16:21
Chapter: The Cloak

I loved it!!! I loved that you didn't tell is exactly who it was until the very end. I must admit that I had a hard time figuring it out, which is good, I think. You write very well. ~Sara

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES