Yes, I liked this poem very much. Fear. It can paralyze you completely. It can galvanize you into frenzy. It is not nice. Not nice people like to use it. But no one likes to live in fear. No one.
Your poem conveyed all of that.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it.
Wow! Hmm...I really like this. It makes a lot of sense. "Fear of the dark, fear of the mark..." Nice job...
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
That is why I'm glad I'lm not a witch. I don't have to be afraid of Voldemort. Good job.
Author's Response: Yeah. Thanks for the review, again.
I LOVE it!!!! I miss you allready and it's only day four of the whole summer!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I miss you too *tear*! now I kinda want tocry *sob*, but I won't. We can still email and talk on the phone, though. We are, of corse, still ZOO PALS!
Oh yeah btw. I know where you live "stranger" *gives the evil eye*
Author's Response: You're a creepy weirdo you know that! Well maybe I know where you live too, stranger! *runs to go lock all the doors and windows* (jk) (lol)
All you said was fear.
Fear here, fear there, fear everywhere.
At first you'd think it's Harry but then it Mrs. Weasley. Weird...very weird...*cough*
Author's Response: Erm... thanks. Like I said GO TO THE DOCTOR coughy gurl.
I liked this poem. It was a good idea, and really incorperated the aspect of Harry Potter well. It had a great rhythm that literally made me bounce my head as I read it.
Fear of anything, fear of everything I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed that line. While anything/everything is a common rhyming pattern seen in poetry with a beat, you brought new light to it. It made sense in your poetry. The next line was equally good, although I do wish it had the internal rhyme of the second line. The internal rhyme really had a lot of rhytem to it, and gave the poem its beat.
I think you should be very careful about the rhytem of this poem though. To be honest, I did not like the line Fear to go to work. First of all, Molly doesn't have a job out of the house. That line really references general human emotion, which would be passable for a general poem about fear of Voldemort. However, because you mention the names of the Weasley clan, in this poem, you must speak from Mrs. Weasley and not the wizard general public, and be careful not to make canon errors. Also, the line was only one very short statement, while it was surrounded by lines consisting of two statements connected by commas. This stood out and really disrupted the flow of the poem. As a peice of friendly advice, I would suggest you remove that single line entirely- it really disrups the flow of the poem and has no real effect.
Fear of the dark, fear of the mark, Once again, I really love this line. You really have a good handle of internal rhyme, as proved by the other line with internal rhyme I pointed out. You take familar rhyming phrases, like dark/mark, incorperate them well into your story, and as a result catch the reader's attention. The only problem with your rhyming is that it's not consistant. Some poets work with a set rhyme scheme, and others simply aren't good enough at writing to. I think you're a very good poet who could easily work with a set rhyme scheme if you wish. While I'd like more consistancy with your rhyme scheme, I really liked the little internal rhymes you put in the poem. They showed a lot of poetential.
Overall, your poem showed a lot of potential. I feel that it wasn't the best poem I ever read, because the rhyme scheme was inconsistant and the flow was disrupted a lot, but it showed a lot of potential. What I liked about this poem is that it simply told a story, without complex metaphors or allusions. I'm really looking foward to read more poetry from you in the future. Good poem!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'll take your suggestions into consideration in the future. I'll try to get a more consistant ryme sceme in future poems. Thanks again for the advice.
sad and great poem
Author's Response: Thanks.
Not bad, but I think Mrs.Weasley was just a bit out of character. I don't think she fears everything. She was a Gryffindor and always seemed pretty brave to me.
Also, when you said she fears 'Even for Percy' that didn't really make sense. She's always worried about Percy a lot, and you make it sound like she doesn't care about him as much as the others. How about changing it to 'Even for Fleur' since she doesn't really like Fleur that much.
You have a nice, original idea. I don't see too many poems about Molly Weasley.
I just think you need to fix a couple of small things like that. 7/10
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I'll consider your ideas.
Whoa, Mrs. Wealsey's got a lot of fears! It was brilliant! Keep on writing poetry! You're good at it!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Wow. Good start. I loved the tone of it. It had a sort of rythm, you know. Keep working at it~ The Love of Lily
Author's Response: Thanks.