Really good work! Everything was described in such detail that I felt like I was there. It's so refreshing to read something that picks up where J.K. left off. I also think it's interesting that you started the story off with Snape, Draco and Voldemort instead of the typical Harry moment. Good for you. Finally - something different!

Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words. I am doing my best to tell what I hope is a compelling vision of the future of these characters. I know that J.K.R. will do it all differently, and I, like everyone else, look forward to reading her final book, but I thought I would like to imagine some different paths for some of her characters. As you will see in the next couple chapters (as soon as I can meet the Moderators’ approval), there are lots of characterization developments that I wish to bring into the story which will question some of the characters’ fundamental motivations. I’ll offer a new look at the Dursley’s… well, Petunia anyway, and oh, what I have in store for Draco. I started how I did, because the fate of Snape and Draco was the biggest question in my mind at the end of HBP. I kept thinking… “Is this what Voldemort really wanted?” My answer of course was… well… not quite. I hope you stick around and keep reading as I get more chapters posted. I’ve certainly enjoyed your work as well. Thanks again.

Author's Response: And... please tell your friends! I love all the feedback!

Ok, I feel a little bit mixed about this one. First off though the writing is good. Your Dumbldore is pretty good, kinda feels like early DD, like books 1-3.

The issue I have is more thematic in nature. I don't know, having a portable Dumbledore for Harry to keep around and help out seems kind of, Easy. And when I say that I don't mean that it's easy for your plot, I mean for easy for Harry. Not that Harry couldn't use the help, but I like that DD died (I mean it was very sad and all) because it forces Harry to become a Man. With having DD still around in some form to talk to it almost kind of reverses the effect.

Harry smiled deeply, understanding then for the first time that even though Dumbledore was... gone... he had neither abandoned nor stopped protecting him.

That almost kind of makes Harry look like he's letting down his gaurd a little bit. Don't take this to harshly though, that's just how I see it, and this is Your story. I'm still vastly intrigued about what your going to do next, and like I said your style continues to be awesome.

Author's Response: Wow! I love that you are really thinking about these things… Okay, so let me see if I can address your concerns without giving anything away. Your issue with the “portable Dumbledore” (that’s cute, I hadn’t thought of that… well, not in those terms) is in my mind completely valid. But let me offer something. One of Harry’s biggest hang-ups is that everybody he loves, dies. This is something Harry needs to change his perspective on – meaning; he has to come to understand that he is not really causing these deaths. Dumbledore, more than anyone, knew and understood this. Plus he surely had more advice and perspective to offer to Harry. So, why not ease the loss by offering a different sort of transition. I wanted Harry to experience loss, without the sense of abandonment that he usually mixes in with it. Having said that, I guess I have given away that the portable Dumbledore is not going to last through the full story. (Unless this is a ruse…) I know that I am offering my version of Harry a bit of a respite… An opportunity to slow down, relax and regroup, plan, rather than jumping blindly into action, which is the feeling I get at the end of the last book. But I don’t mean to convey that he is letting down his guard, even if he is sleeping easier. Thanks so much for the comments!

Do NOT stop writing this story!! You have me hooked,

Author's Response: Thank you for reading! I do not plan on stopping... Another chapter is almost through the Beta/re-write process and will be submitted real soon.

Oh crap that's brilliant. Really awesome invention there. Wish I'd thought of it. Great chapter man, obviously much more upbeat than the prologue. I really enjoyed your version of the Ron and Hermione hook up, having all three of them there sharing the moment, that's a real tear jerker. Wish I had more but I don't, Can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: Thanks! I am glad you enjoyed the R/Hr hook up. I really felt like Harry had to be witness to it. Almost as though they wouldn't make it through without him as a component... And I felt Harry needed to wintess it to be sure it was real... All except for the snogging of course... becasue really... who wants to witness that? Thanks for the kind words. - Next chapter is in queue.

Impressive. I can say very confidently that you have a lot of talent with description. It’s very easy to see the surroundings and feel the emotions when you illustrate your scenes. The start with Snape was especially dark and well done. I enjoyed the atmosphere you provided with the smells of ‘death’ and ‘decay’.

On a side note, I found a couple things that were sort of awkward. Like in this sentence: He groped about awkwardly for a wand he felt certain would not be there; instead, he felt cold hard rock beneath him. This sentence works fine grammatically, but I’m not sure I’m feeling the ‘instead’. Since Snape isn’t fully expecting to feel his wand, it seems odd to use ‘instead’ rather than ‘as he had guessed’ or something along those lines. It could just be personal preference, but it makes more sense to me that way.

Also, this sentence here made me frown a bit: And the Dark Lord was furious! It made me frown because that is such a semi-cliffhanger, such an amazing statement that you put in a very good place to try to get a reaction – but the effect is ruined by the exclamation mark. Having that sentence where it is has impact on the reader enough – I think that if you lose the exclamation mark and make it a nice period it would have that “bam!” feeling that you're going for rather than a “bam!” followed by a fizzle.

That aside, I really enjoyed the way you bring Draco and Narcissa into the situation afterwards. It actually made me pity Draco, when Voldemort was Cruciatusing him. The entire dark feel to this fic was very real, and that was really enjoyable. My favorite part was when Voldemort marked Draco as a coward - it was a very neat idea. Good luck with the next chapter!

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for the read, and thanks so much for the comments. I am very glad you enjoyed it. It feels good to have people whose fics you’ve enjoyed, show that they appreciate yours as well. I do hope you keep coming back to see more as I get more chapters up. Okay, so on to the things you found problematic. I am glad you felt comfortable bringing such things up, it seems that many readers just slide over what they think is problematic. Personally I enjoy such criticism, because it allows for growth, and I am the first to admit that there are a number of things I do awkwardly. I can’t spell worth a darn, never could, and I know that I have a unique phraseology about my speech sometimes. It does not surprise me that it creeps into my writing. So, I considered your comments very carefully and this is what I concluded. Regarding your first sentence of comment; you are suggesting that it would be better as - He groped about awkwardly for a wand he felt certain would not be there, as he had guessed, he felt cold hard rock beneath him. When I read that, it implies to me that he is thinking about the stone rather than the fact that there is no wand there to be found. If he is thinking about and expecting the stone, than what is the point of his discovering anything about it? Or drawing conclusions about his surroundings based on it. For me this doesn’t work, but I was never completely satisfied with the sentence anyway, so I re-wrote it. The passage now reads: He reached out along the floor, groping awkwardly for a wand he knew would not be there. He found cold hard rock beneath him, the edges of large flat squarely cut stones where they abutted one another. The careful fitting revealed that this was a place wrought by the hand of a thinking creature… To me the whole thing is a bit more comfortable now. As for the second comment, after looking at it, I would have to say that I agree that the exclamation point is not necessary, so I have removed it. Thanks so much for the kind words and the critique. That is exactly why authors crave reviews… just trying to make it all better. Thanks again.

Wow this is amazing. I love the way that you started this fic, most authors don't even mention Draco in thier "book seven" your an amazing writer and i cant wait for more

10/10
and i dont think this chapter was violent at all

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind comments.

I wish I had something better than what everyone else has said, but they're right it just drags you in fast and doesn't want to let go. I didn't think the violence was too bad, although I might not be the best judge of that because of my taste in movies. But great chapter, can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: You don't have to top anyone. Just taking the time to review at all is worth a hearty thank you! I am glad you like it. The next chapter is on its way. I didn't really think the violence was too bad either, but I felt I should warn folks that it was there. Please let me know if you are still hooked after the next chapter! Thanks again.

wow, I'm not a writer, journalist or anyone who can give you constructive opinions, but I can tell you your first chapter has grabbed me and I'll be lurking around looking for more!

I love your descriptions of items even like the stones of the dungeon, wonderful, thanks for the read, Kathy

Author's Response: I appreciate your comments. Thank you for taking the time. This is my first fan fic, so I am eager fro all the feedback I can get. I hope to have the next chapter up very soon, I'm about five chapters ahead on the writing, but I have some very talented Beta help and there have been several re-writes... It only makes it that much better! Hope you keep reading. Thanks again.