Good chapter, you seem to have captured there thoughts and feelings and got them on paper perfectly
Dumbeldave

Author's Response: Very high praise, thank you.

Wow a great chapter and a great ending off to read more !

Dumbeldave

Author's Response: Thank you! I am glad you are enjoying my story.

Hey stranger! Where's the rest of this story, hmm? ;)

Author's Response: Actually... I've been working on some other writting over the summer that unfortunately had to take priority. I am moving MInneapolis Minnesota in a few days and will be off line for a short while. However, the next chapter is well on it's way, though slow, and plans to continue the story are underway. I hope to be back to it in force very soon. Thanks for staying interested.

Oh yeah, I definately think it's too much of a departure - - but that's what I like about it. It's refreshing. The only nit-picky thing I can think to say is that you may have waited just a tad bit more before having Draco pick up the little girl. Heck, I consider myself a nice person and I wouldn't have even done that. I would have been like, "Wha...? Who is this kid?" And here's Draco, all bad ass, and he's like, "Oh. Okay." But other than that, I'm enjoying the story.
And I wanna see that banner dude, c'mon! ;)

Author's Response: Hmm… I’m not sure how I feel about that. Obviously I am intentionally making as big a departure as I can think to make. And, Draco is in a state of confusion and bewilderment, finding his self in a place were none of the “rules” of his upbringing make sense or logically apply. I wouldn’t have had him pick up any child but this girl who was there when he awoke (and only because she was insistent). There is a lot in store for him, but remember this is only one story line in a larger story. We’ll be getting back to Harry, which is of course the main story, but there will be lots in store for Draco yet in future chapters. You will learn more about this place, more about these people and more about how it fits into the Magical world, but you’ll have to wait a few chapters. Oh, and the banner is giving me a hard time. I found some images, and have done quite a bit of manipulation to get images I want, but I am far from satisfied, hopefully soon. Thanks as always for any and all comments and input!

Well, this is indeed a departure, but I'm intrigued to see how this fits into the plot. It's interesting to see your own interpretation of an alternate magic space, instead of just working with the established world.
A grammar suggestion: be careful about your punctuation, especially erroneos comma usage.

I am eagerly awaiting more.

Author's Response: Good – bad or reserving judgment? It is definitely a conscious departure. I am aware that commas give me a lot of trouble. I am a bit dependent on beta readers for this as well, as I re-learn the rules, I thought it was getting down to coming into control. It should be to the point where none are technically incorrect but, they may still be unnecessary in some cases… In any case it is an area I am working on. Thanks for the comments.

Very descriptive and a good style of writing but to be blatantly honest, it bored me a bit. Just something you might want to work on. Don't take it as a bad review, I enjoyed your story :)

Author's Response: I appreciate your honesty. Help me out though? Was the pacing too slow for you? The concepts too mudane? What was it that bored you? If you can help me pinpoint something, I'll work on it. I have read a few fics that I thought were boring, and usually it os becasue I find that the pacing drags, or the ideas just aren't at all original. What sort of stuff do you most enjoy?

The description is excellent, I'm stunned!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Okay... fav lines of this chappy:

Harry smoothed the parchment on the desktop and dipped his quill in ink. He rubbed the feather end against his forehead as he thought, and then he began writing:
He opened it, breathing in the cool sweet smell of the rain-scrubbed air. Hedwig stirred and hooted at the breeze.
Love it - good stuff man, good stuff! Definately curious about Petunia...


Regarding your comments to my prev reviews, first of all - did you say THIRTY SIX CHAPS??? Seriously? Whoa. And this is your first fan fic? Heck, a one-shot took a lot out of me just starting out. You're going for it though, so go you! I'm along for this ride, definately. Sedondly, it did strike me as odd that you have titles for all 36 chaps. I'm the opposite. I write and then at the end I'm like... what to call it, what to call it... ha. Just found that interesting. Thirdly - - re the banner, I'd love to make you a banner Jeo, but not knowing what you're story is about - and now knowing how long it will be - it's impossible. It would be some generic thing with the trio and that's just not my style. (By the way, did you check out my new story banners? I got bored the other night and re-did them. heh) Anyhoo - whatever you do, DON'T tell me how this all ends for the sake of a banner. I'm a stickler on the surprise factor - seriously. Just ask Grimmrook. I'm glad that Draco's in there though... because I've never made a banner with him in it and something tells me he's going to play a key role here...


Author's Response: Opps... I take that back, sorry, I only have titles for thirty four chapters... But like I said, I know there will be more than that, in fact this last chapter was originally called "Dursleys Dumbfounded" in my original notes, but as I wrote the chapter it failed to fit for very long. And, I only wrote about half the stuff in this chapter that I originally intended, so now I have to add another chapter to make up the difference and I have no title for that one. I tend to use Chapter titles as a backbone structure when planning out a story, everything is flexible and I frequently change titles as I go. Oh, and yes this is my first Fanfic… but it’s not my first writing. I am actually writing some scripts for a smallpress comic book company. It is my first real attempt a prose though. So… the banner can wait, I’m not going to spoil the story for you, for the sake of a pretty picture – and the new banners are wonderful! Thanks so much for the wonderful comments…

NIce job, and brilliant stroke with the Chocolate frog card. I'm glad to see that you're leaning toward patching up Harry and Ginny. I don't think canon will be as quick - but that's what I want to see in fanfiction ;) I wonder, did DD talk Harry out of allowing Ron and Hermione to accompany him to Privet Drive? I must confess, that is one of the things I'm most eagerly anticipating from book 7. I'm an older writer, too, and I tend to enjoy stories by other adults, so thanks for alertying me to this one. I'll be awaiting the next update.

Author's Response: Thank you. Most everyone seems to like the enchanted Chocolate Frog Base idea. I am rather pleased about that. I have had several people suggest that DD was killed so that Harry would learn to stand on his own two feet, and I don’t disagree, all I can say is, keep reading. Most people grow up just fine without having all the adults they depend on killed off. Harry is more independent then most kids already, by far. You ask if DD talked Harry out of having Ron and Hermione over to Privet Drive, and I suppose he did. I didn’t write that exchange obviously, but I figure basically DD is saying. Okay Harry, slow down, a lot has happened very fast and lets not react harshly, or to hastily. Let’s plan a little carefully. So, the conclusion was that there is a little time to work things out and get the Privet Drive visit over with as quickly and easily as possible because it has to be done. But don’t worry there is a lot that is going to happen. Thanks so much for the review!

Okay - well, first of all I know this isn't a romance but you're dealing with an R/H romantic here, so you'll no doubt understand my disappointment in the 3 seconds you spent slapping Ron and Hermione together. tsk tsk I was somewhat appeased however that you didn't have Harry rush to Ginny right away. When you brought Ginny outside to get the trio I thought for sure you'd do just that. PHEW! Still.... Ron... Hermy... *sigh* Okay and I like what you've come up with for a portable Dumbledore. Ha! Good thinkin'. I want one! I want a portable Dumbledore too! *Veruca Salt whine* All in all, good job. I'm wondering how many chaps you have planned. Seems to be moving along quickly.

Author's Response: Once again, thank you for your kind words. I am sorry you were disappointed in the R/Hr gooshy-gooshy stuff. I know it was brief, but take heart it is only a beginning and there will be plenty more as the story unfolds. Yes, they made it over this particular barrier, but you don’t think it’s going to be all hearts-and-roses for them just because the beginning is behind them do you? And, as for H/G, well it’s obviously coming, but I think it need to percolate a little first don’t you? I am glad you liked the “portable Dumbledore” I was particularly proud of that idea when it occurred to me, but don’t look for it to permanently take Dumbledore’s place, Dumbledore is dead and Harry is going to have to come to terms with that. Okay, so the chapter question… well, as I look at my notes I have chapter titles for thirty-six, so far, but I know myself well enough to emphasize “so far.” Does it seem to be moving fast? I hope that means that it is compelling and an easy read. I was worried that it might start to bog down, after all, after a prologue; I spend three chapters telling the events of one day. I can’t wait for your reaction to chapter four.