MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: Cinderella Angelina
(Signed) · Date:
06/02/06 16:19 · For:
This was a nice little story. I liked the way you wrote Old Ivor coming to terms with Jon leaving him like Ian did. Of course it would be hard for him, but it was the right thing to do, Iím sure of it.
Interesting that Dumbledore himself came to talk Ivor into letting him come; that man knows (or is it, now, knew?) so much, and cares so much about each individual Ė you could tell he was sorry that Ian had died in the war, but that he still wanted the best for Jon and for Ivor as well. I mean, how would the old man feel if he refused to let his boy go?
The part when Jon told his grandfather he didnít want to leave him alone (or when Dumbledore told him so) was one of the best parts; Jon seems a very solid, loyal, loving boy. I would put him in Hufflepuff if I were to Sort him.
I liked the gossips; you did a good job with those. Ivor was [i]very[/i] odd, to me, hiding his money and watching people moodily. I might have reacted in much the same way as the gossips.
Letís see...I have no nitpicks or flypicks or mosquitopicks at this time, your story was very good in that respect. I know itís just a one-shot, but I still look forward to hearing more about this little family, if possible.
Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review, CA! I'm glad you liked the gossips, because those were what worried me - I figured they might make it dragged... ~bL