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Reviews For Marie-Antoinette

Name: KASK (Signed) · Date: 07/26/07 1:23 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
Holy crap! It's going to be Lily, isn't it? That'd be a great plot twist! I really love this story. It's hard though, because I love James, and I'd like Marie to be happy. But he's in love with Lily... Gah. I'm really excited that this story is back!

I loved Bellatrix and Narcissa in this chapter. They were perfect. I just hope Marie isn't as impressionable as they all believe her to be. :D

Name: Marauderella (Signed) · Date: 07/25/07 23:14 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
Really, really good chapter. I liked that she didn't always have the perfect come back for Bellatrix. It made her much more human. I also really liked the bit from Bellatrix's point of view. It was interesting to change views for a bit.

Name: TheBlackSister (Signed) · Date: 07/25/07 17:14 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
I absolutely love your story! I loved the Dumas reference-well, everything! Keep writing PLEASE!!!

Name: Wicked Wench (Signed) · Date: 07/25/07 7:38 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
I really like where you're going with this story.

Name: dreamer478 (Signed) · Date: 07/24/07 19:34 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
yay you were able to update! lily and harry live in that village don't they??? that is very mean! but i really enjoyed this chapter and i hope you can update soon!

Name: indijo (Signed) · Date: 07/24/07 12:44 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
I love you character Marie-Antoinette.
I hope you post chapter 7 soon...
I have a feeling something big is going to happen next!

Name: GreyLady (Signed) · Date: 07/24/07 11:35 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
Wow. *dances* An update! And a wonderfully intriguing one at that. I like how the topic of spies during dinner turns out to have relevance that Marie doesn't know. Also, she continues to be lovely, and your characterizations of Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Narcissa are very good as well.

I had a thought when I read Bellatrix's letter...could Marie accidently hire Lily? That would be interesting...

Name: nutmeg22 (Signed) · Date: 07/24/07 10:14 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
Great chapter, you're a really good writer! I liked how you portrayed Narcissa in this. Looking forward to the next one!

Name: BluEyedGrl105 (Signed) · Date: 07/23/07 21:43 · For: Prologue
Wow. This is the first time I have gone through the trouble of reviewing anything and I all I have to say is: I LOVE THIS STORY! M-A is such a great character. Especially love the way you write Sirius.

Please bring this story to a conclusion.

Name: Kayla Andrena (Signed) · Date: 07/20/07 11:13 · For: Chapter Two: A contract of ashes and blood
When I read about what happened to Lily and Harry I wanted to cry, it was so horrible. I can't believe that Voldemort won and would do that it is heartbreaking. I felt so bad for James. He lost his wife and son and is now forced to marry a 17 year old french girl??!!!!!!! It only chapter two and this story is depressing me. (not that I don't like the story. I still LOVE it!!!)

Name: Kayla Andrena (Signed) · Date: 07/20/07 10:22 · For: Prologue
Wow. I like the plot twist on J.K. Rowlings story. When I heard Lestrange was minister of magic I was shocked. This seems like a great story. I love the connection with Marie-antionette too. I just love it in general!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: FallenAngel938 (Signed) · Date: 07/16/07 12:58 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Awesome story...I love these types of stories although their aren't very many....please update soon...this story is just too good not to continue writing it.

Name: ToxicLemons (Signed) · Date: 06/10/07 21:10 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
I really, really love this fanfic - the characters, especially Marie-Antoinette are so vivid and relatable it's painful at times (I mean that in a good way - you can feel MA's suffering). I wish I had the time to say everything I loved about it, but, unfortunately, I have to run. I really hope you update soon, and I can't wait to read more of your work.

Name: LiaWitch20 (Signed) · Date: 06/05/07 20:26 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Pretty good job, very interesting. But please, don’t tell me this story will end like the “real one”, where the king and queen finally “understand” themselves and have a child!!!!! I’m so Lily-James sucker, I cannot imagine Harry having a half-brother or half-sister or living all his life segregated because of his blood! And not to talk about living in hell without his father because some coo-coo guys want the power! Uff I have said “my fears”.
I love the plot. Your story… it’s like I can touch the situations, maybe it’s the way how Marie Antoniette talks or thinks? Don’t know. Please keep going! It’s wonderful!

Name: WhatHurtsTheMost (Signed) · Date: 06/05/07 17:59 · For: Prologue
love this story to the point of re-reading it several times, so i'm asking you to PLEASE (pretty please w/ a cherry on top) start on a new chapter?!?!

again, i love everything you write and i'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter! (i sound so smart and yet so creepy...)

WRITE! wRiTe! write!

Name: darkangelx02 (Signed) · Date: 06/03/07 4:02 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
yay! you updated!! i don't care if your're french or that english is your second language, you write beautifully. please update quickly!

Name: GreyLady (Signed) · Date: 04/26/07 22:46 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Thank you so much for updating, even if I took forever to review.

I really enjoyed the opening images of the defeated silhouette in the doorway. You have an uncommon talent for creating atmosphere in both the feelings and the tangible details that draws me completely into your stories. “He spun around at the sound of my voice, and though I still couldn’t make out the details of his face, I was able to feel his eyes fixed on me – as if his gaze was a thin thread joining us, and tensing a little more with every passing second.” I felt that this line set the tone for the rest of the chapter, for the tension between James and Marie-Antoinette, and the imagery was beautiful.

Then there was the description of the rain later on. “The light was slowly decreasing as heavy clouds rolled once again in the November sky, mercilessly stifling the last pale beams of timid sunlight.” I got completely caught up as she tilted her head back and let the rain wash away the ink of her scrolls. It’s very symbolic; she’s putting off her childish solutions and learning to deal with reality, which is interesting, because that is what her forced marriage is doing, in essence: forcing her to deal with reality. You did an exquisite job at conveying that transition in her attitude.

I’m very much impressed by your characterization of Marie-Antoinette. She is well-rounded and appealing, but not so appealing that she loses her appeal. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes, characters are just too likable to be intriguing, but yours is not. She shows a curious vacillation between being submissive and holding her ground which reminds me of ruler, as her namesake was (even if Marie-Antoinette wasn’t a particularly good ruler.). Your Marie-Antoinette has a quiet dignity and knows how to be diplomatic and decisive, as when she took James coat for him without being asked, even if it made her feel degraded. Yet, we know she does not think of herself at inferior. “The sunlight reverberating on the white walls was still dazzling me, and I dimly felt I was in an inferior position: his face was hidden from me in the shadows, while mine was in full view and exposed to scrutinizing.” And then she does something to remedy that. You summarized this entire idea in this sentence: “I had this nagging feeling that he and I belonged to the same kind; to this dying breed using words and smiles as weapons, living with ease in pretence and valuing reputation and dignity more than life itself.”

The entire concept of arranged marriage is reminiscent of royalty, when I think about it.
(Can you tell that I like this aspect of the fic?) ;)

James is also well done, though I don’t like him nearly as much. Your portrayal of his bitterness is good. This line, “The wood banister creaked every time he grabbed it, as if he was leaning his full weight on it with every step,” was very revealing. He’s very different from the James we are acquainted with in canon, who is triumphant and light-hearted, but I can see the loss of Lily weighing heavily on him. There were glints of his old personality, such as his wit when he says, ““I don’t have the time or energy to deal with adolescent existential crisis,” and also his shame upon hearing that he had left her alone without any food, which was a glimpse of compassion.

Now for the nitpicks.

First off, I noticed that there were several places that ellipses (“…”) were used where they weren’t necessary and became slightly distracting. These don’t have to be changed, but I would recommend it.

“Then I shook myself – the hardest part was done but I hadn’t finished yet.” A comma is advisable before “but.”

“You won’t see or hear me, even when you are in the house, except when we have guests of course.” I also suggest a comma before “of course.”

“I heard her snarling in anger at my ignoring her, and when her master dismissed her, she strode out of the room as noisily as possible.” “My ignoring her” is an awkward phrase, and could function better if reworded.

“If, exceptionally, you need more, you can drop a written note on my desk.” I think you meant “occasionally” instead of “exceptionally.”

“I had never stopped walking up and down that commercial street called Diagon Alley, where apparently were reunited the best magical stores in Britain, Pomy trotting along beside me – her stance and expression reminding me of Beauxbâtons’ old caretaker as she inspected my purchase.” If you’re going to use a dash instead of a comma, I think “reminded” would work better than “reminding.”

“I tilted my head to one side and smiled innocently at her, retrieving automatically in Lali’s presence the manners of spoiled little girl that were mine years ago.” You forgot an “a” before “spoiled.”

That looks like a lot. *winces* But your story is brilliantly conceived and written; I am in awe of you. To write something like this when English is not even your first language—that blows me away. I look forward to more updates, but take your time, if it yields work like this.

Name: Marauderella (Signed) · Date: 04/18/07 14:25 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Wow. Just one word to describe this story, amazing. You really have a knack for writing. I felt like I was Marie Antoinette for a while there. I have to say though, I really want her to yell at James for being such a jerk. He's so obnoxious, obviously she didn't want to marry him either and he's just, grrrr! Update soon, I can't wait to read more.

Name: sandybeaple (Signed) · Date: 04/15/07 23:11 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
The wait was definitely worth it! I'm all for James and Lily, of course, but I do wish MA and Mr. Potter would get closer or something - like be good friends? And I sense a hint of James warming up to MA. It's a good sign!

Great job on this chapter! Looking forward to reading your next one! (n_n)


Name: rockinfaerie (Signed) · Date: 04/15/07 4:22 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Bonjour! - I know my reviews must be getting quite repetitive, but once again this was amazing!

I especially liked the atmosphere and description of the first scene - how everything was cast in light and shadow, in blacks, whites and greys like in a charcoal drawing, and then suddenly, when Marie-Antoinette blushes, it's as if pink paint trickles into it - it was really effective!

I also loved the description of Lali braiding Marie-Antoinette's hair - and how the simple reconnection between them made her feel like a spoiled little princess once more... I think that that sort of nostalgia towards her childhood is very natural, not only considering her circumstances but also her age...

J'étais vraiment heureuse quand j'ai vu qu'il y avais un nouveau chapitre - je crois que c'est mon histoire favouri en ce moment...Mais j'étais inquiete quand James a dit qu'elle n'a pas su comment les gens en géneral habitent, et qu'elle veut des choses chères... Est-ce que son histoire va être comme l'histoire de la reine? Ça serait trés triste, à mon avis!

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