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Reviews For Marie-Antoinette

Name: 20160518caihuali (Signed) · Date: 05/18/16 5:13 · For: Prologue
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Name: witch22 (Signed) · Date: 11/21/10 10:03 · For: The Chambermaid
wonderful.........can't wait


Name: i love prongs (Signed) · Date: 07/26/09 4:48 · For: The Chambermaid
will you ever update?


Name: iryeth (Signed) · Date: 02/17/09 13:38 · For: The Chambermaid
Hello! I just wanted to say that i really love this story and wanted to know if you are going to continue it.


Name: Potterphile12 (Signed) · Date: 09/30/08 16:41 · For: The Chambermaid
I thought that idea of having Marie interview Lily was interesting. If nothing else, it shows just how malicious and vindictive Bellatrix can be. I think that, in general, the characterization of Bellatrix is very strong in your fic. It's the thing that stood out to me the most, how she isn't exactly settled in her role. You can almost see that she craves more power.

I found the ending interesting, though I found it hard to believe that Dumbledore had run in the first place. Still, nice cliffhanger.


Name: Milliebaby123 (Signed) · Date: 09/28/08 4:01 · For: Prologue
i looooooove this story, please, please dont make me wait long to read another chapter!!! i know its hard to write such a great story with not much time, but im going mad waiting!!!! sorry that my reveiew isn't as detailed and long as some others...i don't pretend to be an expert on writing, i barely read, so congrats to you for getting me to read yor story in the first place, let alone enjoying it and begging for more!!! loooooving your work.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 09/20/08 8:24 · For: The Chambermaid
I have to say I’m glad Marie-Antoinette didn’t follow Bella’s advice and hired Lily, that would have been more than awkward and I don’t think Lily would have taken orders from Marie-Antoinette after finding out that she is James’s new wife. Obviously that was Bella’s plan, though, and it is for that very reason that Lily was the only single mother, but Bella didn’t figure that Marie-Antoinette would question her advice. I also agree with Lali that choosing a younger chambermaid is a good idea. I can’t imagine how someone would feel having to serve and obey a girl ten years younger than oneself. But I do feel sorry for Lily and James, had Marie-Antoinette taken Bella’s advice they would have been together again and Harry wouldn’t have to grow up without his father.

I feel very sorry for Pomy after reading this chapter. I wonder how Marie-Antoinette can stand to be so cruel to her. I thought the plan great at first, but Pomy is obviously miserable and close to crying all the time, I can’t imagine how Marie-Antoinette can stand looking at her and making her even more miserable.

And Dumbledore is back, I wonder how he will continue the fight and what role James will play in it, and Marie-Antoinette, of course.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 09/20/08 7:52 · For: Dinner at the Lestranges'
I love the dinner scene at the Lestranges. Marie-Antoinette and James’s interactions don’t really offer much mystery anymore, but the interactions between the Lestranges and the Malfoys were fascinating in this scene. Compared to Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus Lestrange seems even more refined and manipulative. I have always imagined it to be the other way around with these two and thought of Rodolphus as more like Bellatrix, but I enjoy seeing/reading a different take on their characters and the way you write them is entirely believable.

The more I see of Bellatrix the more I hate her, I have to admit. Not the way you characterise her, that’s great, but I hate her as a character. Somewhere along the line I started to feel for Marie-Antoinette and now I care for her so much that it makes me hate Bella on principle. I did very much enjoy to see her interact with her husband though, seems she really only hates Marie because she feels somehow inferior to her as she does to her husband.

I hope you don’t mind that I only comment on characterisation in this review, but there was so much in that area that stood out to me that I want to say, so bear with me, please: Narcissa is a delightful character. Again totally different than I usually imagine her, much less reserved and haughty, for example, but a joy to read. I’m glad Marie-Antoinette has finally found someone in whose presence she feels comfortable and who she can talk to without a fight. And I’ll be forever grateful to Narcissa for telling her that James and Sirius actually did end up in Azkaban for their involvement in the war, finally someone is giving us some more information to work with.

Lastly I have to say that I don’t quite understand how Marie-Antoinette went from wanting people to stop walking all over her to wanting power. That seems a very big leap to me and I can’t really understand how she imagines that she can actually get power much less why she wants it. And I don’t see why all of the sudden she wants to get close to James Potter, if anyone I would have thought Sirius would catch her fancy, but certainly not James.

Anyway, this chapter was really nice and I enjoyed getting an insider’s look into Lestrange’s thoughts and plans.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 6:00 · For: Chapter Five: Two Elves
Oh, finally Marie-Antoinette is fighting back! I never would have thought she could be this devious, asking her house-elf to do all the work so Pomy won’t have anything to do is bordering on being cruel. Pomy deserves nothing more though, she did nearly let Marie-Antoinette starve and treats her horribly, I have no sympathy for that elf at all.

And Marie-Antoinette and James finally had a somewhat civil conversation. So James has to tell Lestrange everything he does with his money? Sounds like Lestrange is afraid he might use his wealth to finance a resistance or something like that. What I don’t understand is why Lestrange would just leave James to his life if he is so afraid of what James could do when given half a chance, it doesn’t really make sense. If I were in Lestrange’s shoes I would have either put Sirius and James in prison or have them killed, the way things are they could do any number of things to harm him and his Dark Lord. I just hope he doesn’t have them followed and knows about their meetings with the Marauders, but if he keeps an eye on what James spends his money on I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he has him followed as well.

Lali is like a breath of fresh air in that cold, dreadful house. A house-elf is not as good as a friend, but at least there’s someone there now who talks to Marie-Antoinette and keeps her company. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with a house-elf and a stranger who hate you with no contact to the outside world.

I loved the Gryffindor colours in the living room, I can’t wait to see Lestrange’s reaction when Marie-Antoinette invites him and Bellatrix over for dinner and they see it. James’s reaction, too, will be priceless, I imagine.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 4:57 · For: Chapter Four: A Black Ray of Sunlight
This chapter had two exceptionally well done parts: Sirius’ point of view and Aimées letter. The rest of the chapter paled in comparison. I wanted to find out what James had been up to those two weeks and I wanted to see more of the Marauder dynamics, so I was kind of disappointed when you switched back to Marie-Antoinette’s POV and her gardening. I did like the plants’ resistance to magic though, that was a very nice touch, but the whole part about Marie-Antoinette was a little boring compared to the beginning of the chapter.

I love Sirius, although at first I didn’t realize that it was Sirius’ POV, it was only when Peter called him Padfoot that I realized that this wasn’t James at all. The more details about the world Voldemort created I know, the more I want to know about it. What are these factories Peter and Remus have to work in? I can’t think of anything Voldemort would need to produce in factories and couldn’t just conjure. Also I really want to know why Voldemort didn’t kill James and Sirius now, if not even Sirius knows the reason there has to be something big going on.

The Aimées letter: I’m glad she didn’t believe what Marie-Antoinette told her about arranged marriages being normal. Marie-Antoinette has to stop just taking everything and start protesting and if she doesn’t I’m glad she has at least one friend (two if you count Olivier) in her corner who does just that. It would be fun to see James going up against Aimée and Olivier’s little note was nice, too, I was afraid he would never be mentioned again and Marie-Antoinette would just forget him.

I wonder what will happen when James comes back.


Name: Cruciatus Love (Signed) · Date: 08/23/08 19:16 · For: Chapter Two: A contract of ashes and blood
After reading this chapter, I must say that this story gets better the further it goes. I like how you introduce Lily and James’s story using James’s thoughts, and I think the emotion in that scene flows nicely. However, right after that scene, when it suddenly switched to M-A’s point of view, I was slightly confused. At first I thought we were in James’s perspective, but then when I finally realized we were M-A’s eyes, I still couldn’t figure out who she was talking to. It took a bit for me to work it all out--but it got much better from there.

I know that in previous reviews, you’ve gotten a lot of comment’s on Marie’s character and how she somewhat has a lack of one, but I thought that she started to develop a passive-character-ness even up to the part in this chapter when she yelled “enough” and then quickly took it back. She obviously has self-consciousness issues, but everyone would speak out if words like that were being said about them. I was glad to see her show some emotion while also not completely speaking out, thus staying in character. But then, at the end of the chapter, when Marie starting saying how she would never let someone look down on her, I thought the change was sort of sudden. Everything led up to it nicely, but the dramatic and sudden change seemed a bit OOC to me—but that’s just my opinion. I know many people liked her unexpected fire.

Overall, though, my favourite part of this story is the world that you’ve created. The idea of the dark-magic contract and the incorporation of the cuts in M-A’s hands fit well, and the description of everything is just fantastic. Starting with the prologue and all the way through so far, the most interesting part of this fic is alternate universe created in it.

So I’m enjoying it! Thanks for the interesting read.
Shayla


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 08/22/08 9:43 · For: Chapter Three: The Coldest Day of my Life
Poor Marie-Antoinette, how she made it through the wedding and the meal afterwards without starting to scream, I don’t know. I’m glad to se Sirius being friendly again, I would hate to see him hate Marie-Antoinette and treat her like James does. She does need one friendly face around, even if they don’t talk or are really friends, just seeing someone smile at her from time to time is almost a gift in her situation.

I loved how she stood up to Bellatrix and confused her with her polite conversation. I was cheering her on the whole time they were talking, hoping that this was the beginning of not letting people walk all over her anymore. It was a good start, even though she couldn’t keep it up with Lestrange and did get quite thoroughly beaten by the house-elf. I feel that she is on her way to becoming more self-assured and confident.

I’m curious to see how she plans to win Pomy’s affection as I really can’t see how she could go about that. Pomy seems to have adored Lily, why should she accept another Mistress unless James tells her to and the way he has treated Marie-Antoinette up until now, I don’t see this happening any time soon.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 08/22/08 6:16 · For: Chapter Two: A contract of ashes and blood
Wow. I have to say, I’m impressed. I remember reading chapter 2 and being disappointed that Marie-Antoinette didn’t show enough emotion with all that was going on in her life. Now in this chapter there was an abundance of just that emotion. I started feeling for her, especially when she wanted to tell Lestrange and James off for talking about her as if she wasn’t in the room. I would have loved her to actually go through with it, but just speaking up to tell them to shut up was hard enough for her, I guess. I’m beginning to really like her character and I hope she succeeds in not letting anybody look down on her, she deserves more than she is getting here.

On that note I positively hated James for treating her the way he did. It’s not as if she had a choice in the matter or as if she took Lily from him. Sure, he doesn’t know all that, but he was horrible to her. On the other hand I do feel sorry for him for the way he lost his wife and son and is now forced to marry someone else, someone much younger whom he doesn’t even know, but still, he was horrible. I’m not saying his characterisation wasn’t great, because it was, I’m just saying I wish he would and could treat Marie-Antoinette better, but I can understand why he can’t, with Lily having been taken away from him just the previous week.

He waved it around for a whole minute, his eyes half-closed, and a flow of old incantations came out of his mouth. The hangings fluttered more forcefully than before as the enchantment blew like a cold breeze around the room. I started shaking uncontrollably; Mr. Potter was pale, and beads of sweat had formed at the edge of his dark hair. Even the people standing behind the desk shifted uneasily as the cold wind brushed past them. I love this description of the old magic Lestrange uses, It’s very powerful, made me shiver when I read it. I like the whole scene with the contract, very nice use of elements we know from the books in form of the quill and a dark spell to make the parchment appear that is not there in the books. You seem to have a lot of great ideas how magic works. I also love the this chapter’s title. It’s perfect.

I hope James won’t hate Marie-Antoinette forever, but I fear he will. If at least Sirius could act the way he did in the waiting room again would be very nice.


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 08/10/08 5:33 · For: Chapter One: Adieux and exile
I don’t have a lot to say about this chapter, I’m still curious to see what will happen next and my questions haven’t been answered yet .

I was very surprised to find out that Marie-Antoinette had a boyfriend. He wasn’t mentioned at all in the prologue and from what the headmaster said about her having only one friend in the school, I thought she’d be shy around boys and not dating at all. Then at first it sounded as if she and Olivier had been together for ages, when in reality it had only been three weeks. I’m a little confused about the time line here. How long after the prologue is the first chapter set? I had expected it to be three weeks to a month, but I can’t believe that Marie-Antoinette would start dating someone after Lestrange told her he would arrange her marriage. But if it wasn’t that long then everything happened quite fast. As I said, I’m a bit confused about that.

When Marie-Antoinette broke up with Olivier I would have liked to see a bit more emotion from him. He seemed to just accept everything without questioning anything she said. I would have at least expected him to feel betrayed when she tells him she’s engaged and ask her if she was only playing with him or what that was about, something like that. But he seems to know that none of this was her choice from the beginning, even though she doesn’t tell him. I think the scene could have done with a lot more emotions. And Marie-Antoinette, too, could have reacted less calm when she first got back to her dorm.

Wow, I’m really surprised to see James and Sirius all rich and powerful seeming in that waiting room. That is who the two men are, right? I want to know what happened with them and how they fit into all this more than ever now. I would have imagined them being kind of shunned after fighting with Dumbledore, but the more I see the more I doubt that they did actually fight with Dumbledore, although I can’t see why they wouldn’t

Seems I had more to say than I thought. So many mysteries to solve, so many questions to answer, I’m curious to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: ...First time someone points out I messed up the time line here. They've been dating since the beginning of the year, i.e. about a month and a half; I simply forgot the time gap between the prologue and first chapter. Needs correcting. The lack of emotions is precisely something I'd been aiming for, especially from Olivier. He's like that -- not showing at all what he feels, and not fighting much for what he wants. As for Marie-Antoinette, the emotional numbness was also what I was aiming for; it's an important part of her character. She's not very likeable yet -- too fatalist, too submissive, etc. She'll grow up. As for the mystery surrounding James and Sirius -- see you in chapter 6. :)


Name: LadyAlesha (Signed) · Date: 08/10/08 4:21 · For: Prologue
I like this prologue, it leaves a few questions that I’m desperate to find the answers to. We’re reading your story in the SBBC at the moment, I probably wouldn’t have found it otherwise (I don’t read much HP fanfic other than what we read in the SBBC), but I would continue reading, even if it wasn’t our current SBBC story.

What I loved about your prologue was the introduction about queen Marie-Antoinette. Your writing there is so beautiful and poetic, every word seemed to resonate in my head. It’s amazing, the best part of the whole prologue, in my opinion, and it really catches people’s attention and draws them into the story. After reading this introduction I really wanted to know what happens to this particular Marie-Antoinette (the one in your story, not the historical queen) that makes her say that parents should never name their children Marie-Antoinette.

My best friend Aimée, who had collapsed on her desk and was sleeping soundly with her head in her arms, jumped so suddenly she fell off her seat in a heap of blue silk onto the floor. In this and some other sentences I feel that you want to say too much, give too many details at the same time. It makes the sentence feel crowded, I had to reread it to get all the details into order in my head. It’s not that I think this many details are bad, I would suggest not putting them in one sentence though. If you split this sentence up, it wouldn’t be as overcrowded and you would still be able to give all the details you want and deem necessary.

Now, plot. I like the general idea of arranged marriages under the Dark Lord’s reign to keep the bloodlines pure, it’s something I can see happening. What did surprise me - and this is one of the questions I talked about earlier, that will keep me reading – is that Marie-Antoinette’s and James’ marriage is important enough to be part of official negotiations between France and Britain. Marie-Antoinette herself seems of little importance and other than her pure bloodlines she doesn’t seem special at all. And James, I can’t think of a reason why he would be important to Rodolphus Lestrange, I can’t see him not fighting on Dumbledore’s side, so he would be one of the wizards who lost the war, I’m really quite lost as to why he would be important enough that the Minister for Magic would arrange his marriage.

Anyway, I’ll keep reading to find out why that is and to get answers to some other questions and hope there will me more passages of poetic writing like the one to start this prologue.

Author's Response: Heh, thanks a lot for the comments, criticism and compliments alike :). The "crowded" sentence is a direct result of my thinking in French and translating in English; it happens very rarely now, but a few months ago it was still typical of my writing. Content-wise, your questions will be answered in later chapters -- particularly chapters 2 and 6, if I recall correctly. Hope you like the rest of the story!


Name: MorganRay (Signed) · Date: 08/09/08 21:45 · For: Prologue
"Many years have passed since the young Queen’s death in 1793. But no matter the time or place, people should never call their child Marie-Antoinette. There is no happiness in this world for a girl called Marie-Antoinette.

My fate was sealed the 16th of October, 1983. One hundred and ninety years exactly after Queen Marie-Antoinette’s death at the infamous Place de Grève."

This is a great opening to the story because it imparts a tone of such certainty. It also starts the story on a tragic note and foreshadows what might happen later in the story. It kind of feels like ‘the heavy hand of fate’ is being introduced, and that will definitely hang over this story.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review -- glad you liked the beginning; after so much time, I find it a tad too melodramatic myself.


Name: MysticFay (Signed) · Date: 07/11/08 1:20 · For: Prologue
I am so glad another chapter was finally added. This story is probably one of the best fanfics I've ever read, and I love how you avoid cliches. Thanks for writing another chapter.


Name: rockinfaerie (Signed) · Date: 07/10/08 19:43 · For: The Chambermaid
Woah - this was sooo good - can't wait for the next chapter!


Name: Meme0 (Signed) · Date: 07/09/08 8:07 · For: The Chambermaid
EEEE!!! *Squeeeee!* Gotta love Dumbledore! This is great! I feel soooo excited!

Poor Lily & Harry... Lily has no idea what humiliation would be in store for her had Marie picked her to be her chambermaid.

Can't wait for your next chapter!


Name: TheBlackSister (Signed) · Date: 07/08/08 13:31 · For: The Chambermaid
I am so glad you are updating again! This story is one of the most magnificent fanfics I've ever read. Some details that I've caught:
-Harry is still imprisoned at a Number 4 - gotta love it!
-Marie was right to be wary of Lily in her house, wasn't she?!
Please keep writing, this is an excellent work!!!


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