MuggleNet Fan Fiction
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Name: Jeograph (Signed) · Date: 06/05/06 9:59 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Hey, okay, now I know I told you I wasn’t reading any fanfics while I was working on my own, but I finished my “Beyond Harry” story and now I have to focus on some other things before I get back to writing “Heart of the Hero.” So, when I saw that you had more posted I decided to break my own rule and read it through. I am very glad I did, because I have enjoyed everything you have posted, but I have to say, kindly, YOU SUCK! I enjoyed it very much, and now I have to totally rethink things I was planning to write myself, namely, the whole “heroes” wedding scenario. Thankfully I have plenty of chapters to evolve in another direction.
I love the way you push conflict between the characters, and manage to pull out deep inner reflection. Hermione’s vows for instance I thought were absolutely spot on. Now I understand why you get on me about her dialogue.
I loved that you brought Jacobs back in the end and had him come clean with his wife after what he said to Harry. I saw that his role was pivotal from the beginning and I just knew he was going to end up knowing something about the Wizarding world. Having him end up a Squib was just perfect, and having him have lead his own double life was an added parallel for the whole story.
There is lot’s more I could say I suppose, but the most important comment is that I enjoyed it very much and I’ll be looking for future installments. Very nice work!

Author's Response: Wow, I love long reviews, and considering the work I put into this one, it's much appreciated. Let's see, okay, the wedding. An interesting tidbit of trivia is that wedding, the last two chapters of this fic, are the first bit of fanfiction I had written in my head EVER. Before right here, and One Good Day, I had this scene laid out. I think it was because I had read so many wedding fics, and I just really wanted to do it right, and so yeah, that was definitely big for me. I'm glad you liked Hermione's vows. That part was really frustrating to me because I just couldn't get them. I mean, I seriously almost wrote a one shot about them writing the vows just so that I could get in character enough to write them myself, it was just tough. With Ron I kind of always had a rough sketch, but with Hermione, that was tough, and then it kind of hit me, she's going to be a little long winded and a little bit over the top, and everything's still going to be pretty good because it's coming from her heart, but it's still going to be Hermioneish. and then the whole day counting thing hit me, and I just really ell in love with that idea. And Jacobs... Everyone loves Jacobs. What about Ernie? Man I loved Ernie, favorite original character ever, but everyone loves Jacobs. Ah, it still puts a smile on my face. Actually, having Jacobs be a squib kind of shocked me to be honest. I don't think I made that realization until I started writing chapter 3, and I needed someone to actually jog Harry out of it. I think originally I was going to just have Jacobs be Jacobs, but then the squib thing came about, and there you go. He is, he's a good parallel for Harry in that they're both running and at somem point they need to stand up and just go home. I have gotten a few people say how much they liked him, so I'm thinking about putting him in Part III just for a bit part or something. Not sure, yet how I'm gonna, but just because everyone likes him so, I think we're going to see at least a little more of our man Jacobs before this whole thing is through. Well, thanks for the super terrific review, I appreciate it.

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 06/04/06 11:24 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Hey! I'm the one who said One Good day made me cry at the end! I loved this story! It made me cry again! :) Thanks!

Author's Response: Heh, thanks immensely. I promise I'll try not to make you cry in Parts II and III. Honestly, I think Everybody Does It and Part I are going to be my last two gut wrenching cry to tears stories. Part II is more of a romantic comedy. If I can squeeze a tear jerker in there once in a while I will, but I think laughter is in order there. And Part III is a thriller, so I'm not even planning on putting any tear jerking scenes in it. No, I'm already of thinking about how to go big... Anyway, thanks for the review.

Name: PrettyInPotions (Signed) · Date: 05/31/06 18:30 · For: Chapter 1: Run
I am sooooo glad that Ginny didnt say yes. I mean i do want them to get married (in fact they do in the story that I am writting) butit was just a great twist i love that about your writting, you arent affraid to have bad things happen. On a different note i am curently trying to find a beta for my first story and since i am such a big fan of your work I thought i would ask if you were interested? Its ok if you dont have time i will find someone. Cant wait for part 2. see ya

Author's Response: The author's note I have in the beginning about the ending? Yeah, that was exactly what I was referring to, Ginny turning Harry down. Originally Ginny said yes, and even though I knew my betas were right, I was still loathe to do it because it set up Part II the way I wanted it to, but now, well... crap I can't say because that might ruin ... I just realized I may have already said too much. Sometimes I hate me.

Author's Response: Crap crap crap... forgot to respond to the second half. Okay, here's the deal, me beta reading, I'm nearly always happy to do some beta reading, so tentatively I'll say yes. the tentative part is that I'm very busy what with juggling around six authors, as well as having a job, and trying to write Part II, I can't guarantee fast turnarounds right now, and I may ask you to wait for a week... maybe even a few days longer than that. But if you can put up with me not turning a story around in a day, then we should be able to work things out. but before I commit, I would like you to e-mail some details, what it's about, how long it's going to be, that kind of thing. thank you so much.

Name: Jane Bilus (Signed) · Date: 05/29/06 11:14 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Wow. That was just brilliant. I loved Harry's speech, Ginny's slap, and of course seeing Remus and Tonks there. it was nice that she was pregnant. Have you gotten far with Epilogues Part 2 beacuae i just can't wait to read it. Keep up the good work, I'll keep an eye out for the next istallment.

Author's Response: Well, hello Jane. Again, thank you ever so much, not just for this review, but for all of them. Yeah, the Tonks being pregnant thing allows me to introduce a character in Part II that will play a HUGE part in Part III. So stay tuned for that. As for the slap, that slap was definitely one of the earlier ideas I had for this chapter. So I'm pleased that that came off well. Now, I'm not far into writing Part II. I've only got two chapters down, and right now it's slated for thirteen. But since it will be considerably longer my plan is to finish writing chapter 3, and then revise the whole lot, and post in three chapter blocks. That way I can keep the story moving and not have people thinking I've dropped off the face of the earth. Well, thank you kindly, I'm glad you enjoyed this first part of Epilogues, and I can't wait to see you again for Part II.

Name: Stalla77 (Signed) · Date: 05/28/06 12:47 · For: Chapter 6: Home
I love this story! It is one of the best that I have read yet. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I've got the rough draft for the first two chapters done, and beta'd. It may still be some time before I start pushing that one through though, as it's a thirteen chapter monstrosity (at least thirteen chapters is long for me). So thank you much, and I'm glad you enjoyed it so.

Name: abbycadabra (Anonymous) · Date: 05/27/06 0:31 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Oh, tear tear!!!! What a terrific story!!!! You are on my favourites list, mister! That was brilliant, really, it was....you are ahmazing! I mean, I literally did cry in the earlier chapters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. It never fails to please me that I am able to ellicit a response in readers so emotional that it brings them to tears. It really is great praise! I just hope you'll keep your eyes out for Part II when I get enough of it written to start posting. Thank you.

Name: Hope_543 (Signed) · Date: 05/25/06 14:54 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Well, as you know, I already read the end on SIYE, but I wanted to wait til it was up here to review, because of several mundane reasons, but mainly because then I would be able to give it a chance to be absorbed properly.

Well, I loved it! I loved the way that the storyline tied in so well from Right Here (R/Hr) to this chapter (H/G). It kind of felt right, and almost as though there doesn't need to be any more (don't get me wrong - more wouldn't be a bad thing; I'm desperate for Epilogues II) It just seemed like you tied the whole thing up really well.

I also loved how Ginny knew Harry was there, but she also didn't say anything (directly) to him when he was 'stalking' her... If you get what I mean? It made them more like equals, and now that Ginny's turned him down on the marriage thing it puts them on a completely even keel for the sequels. It's not just Harry who destroyed the darkest wizard of all time, it's also Ginny who turned DOWN the boy who defeated the darkest wizard of all time. I think that's really important, because they are equals.

Well, thank you for so many amazing fics. You're my favourite, favourite, favourite!

Author's Response: Alright, i've seriously made three attempts at responding to this review, and each one timed out, so I'm going to leave a quick one now, and promise to leave a longer one when I have time... Thank you so much for everything.

Name: mrrlyn (Signed) · Date: 05/25/06 1:53 · For: Chapter 6: Home
I cant wait for the next chapt

Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews, but this is the last chapter, sadly. I am hard at work on the sequel though, so hopefully I'll be posting that sometime eventually, but thanks.

Name: xiofs13 (Signed) · Date: 05/25/06 0:08 · For: Chapter 6: Home
WOW That was so totaly GNARLY!!!!!maybe it was just a little too much to handle in one night...

there are a couple things that im feeling kinda wierd about though like harry gettin turned down(though he may have deserved it) and Ginny's overall reaction
Actually truth be told i think you could have made that whole h/g convesation a little better,like by amping up the emotes on harry's part, or tweaking some of the finer points.Not to change the outcome but to give it a better feel .

Yeah so not exactly a fairy tale ending but a wonderfull story ending up in a nice knot with nothing left out in te open ya know?

Overall it was a great fic and a great chap. i know i havnt reviewed the other chaps but i was to engrossed to even just write one word and hit submit
1000/10 keep up the great work!

Author's Response: As I mentioned in an earlier review, Ginny actually did accept Harry's proposal, and it just didn't work. So I don't know, I guess it's a matter of what you are expecting and wanting. i think I wanted them to be all engaged, but then you know, it's just not gonna work that way. Now this conversation is a combination of old drafts and new drafts, so I guess that might account for the awkwardness. But I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and hopefully you'll check back in when I get around to doing Part II

Name: Monster Book of Monsters (Signed) · Date: 05/24/06 23:39 · For: Chapter 6: Home
Wowee - wow - WOW - whoa. Okay. Now I get what you meant about the ending. Again, really good job with the description - although sometimes I stopped seeing Harry and started "seeing" you instead. Sometimes Harry came off as all kinds of in control and then when it came down to business, he starts stammering ala "Cho, will you go to the ball with me?" So I was kind of back and forth in this chapter. The fact that Ginny knew about the visits - that threw me a little. I really wanted her not to know that for some reason. Maybe it's just me being selfish so that Harry seemed more the hero or something - not sure. Um, favorite line from this chapter (or lines, I should say): "Night had fallen, and thanks to a cloudless sky, the stars were shining brilliantly alongside a sharp white crescent moon. Harry smiled to himself. Perfect. " - - that was awesome - good job. Then the slap, again, awesome. And then the humor with the "“Oh,” he said flatly. “Okay.” Harry had asked her and she said yes. Okay, she nodded, but as far as he knew, nods always meant yes. But then, maybe they didn't. Maybe in some cultures nods meant…" That was good too. Okay, done picking this sucka apart. It was a good story in all. Looking forward to Part II!

Author's Response: You know, I didn't notice Harry going back and forth until I just read it here. Now I just need to come up with some really good valid author reason why I did that. Um... give me a minute. No, seriously, I think you know my interpretation of Harry, remember your take on the characters in Right Here, but he's also going to be off balance until he's accepted, so around the people who have welcomed him back with open arms, he's going to be confident, or at least, himself and normal and not stammering idiot Harry. Around Ginny who obviously isn't as happy to see him, he reverts back to socially awkard Harry. I don't know, I guess around everyone else, we get the Harry we see in OotP and HBP, but Ginny has the ability to turn him into GOF and earlier Harry. Well, as for Ginny's character, why I had her know was kind of obvious, but you bring up the point about harry being the hero... If anything, that's one thing I look to do here is not really make him a hero, but just make him normal, or something like that, i have no idea what I'm talking about, but it makes sense in my head. Okay, let's see the lines. I worried about the crescent moon one being a little over the top... Glad to see it wasn't. The slap, I'm proud of that. I think that was something that was SO Ginny, and so right for her, I'll agree with you there, that was clever of me. And that cultures line, well, here's the thing, I really didn't know how to get Harry to react at this point. I mean, he's been up and down, and I think at this point I was like okay, Harry should now be officially suffering from emotional exhaustion, so that whole bit there was really suposed to be a little funny, but to also show just how out of whack Harry is emotionally. Thank you, and I'll get part II done as soon as I can but it's real slow going.

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/24/06 23:32 · For: Chapter 6: Home
*Argh! I left one, then it just froze up and didn't post, so this will end up being shorter than was intended.*

Great last chapter! I don't have any complaints really so I'll just highlight some of the things I liked most.

Great dialogue with the trio all around, loved Harry's toast, very emotional. It's awesome that Ron and Hermione got thrown into the spotlight for once after the war was over, and they go an fantastic wedding for free. Lupin and Tonks were a nice throw in.

On to the real meat of this story. I liked how Ginny and Harry are handled. How they don't say a word to each other until they are alone, then she smacks him. It's good that you write Ginny as tough as she should be, yet you don't over do it. That's one thing I see alot in FF, either she is done really meek, or too tough. Again great dialogue through here. I am so relieved that she didn't say yes to Harry's forced proposal. If she had I would have had to boycott you, it would have just been too Romeo & Juliet for me( I hate R&J). So great all around, go get crackin on Part II.

I didn't have those songs once again, I just got some new CD's so I listened to those (Gomez & My Morning Jacket) Don't know if they fit, but they're new.

Author's Response: Man, it's been great reading your reviews, and I swear I'm going to get your music selections in the author's notes soon. Let's see. thanks for the dialogue comments. I think every ff writer frets, or at least they should fret, over getting dialogue right. I know I don't get it right every time, but I try. Harry's toast I was a little worried about. In fact, I think I might have been just as nervous as he when it came to delivering the speech because I was just like, "crap, writing Ron and Hermione's vows was hard enough, and i've always felt more comfortable writing them." So I'm glad it came out okay. Actually, to be honest, putting R/Hr in the spotlight was something of convenience for me. During the beta read session, I totally didn't explain any of it, just kind of had it as it was, then the betas were all, "How are they having this huge wedding?" and I had to come up with something, and there you go, a hero's tribute. As for L/T, well, I put them there because I realized that this far into the story, we were still only dealing with the core characters, and we needed some of the not so prominent characters to show up, considering this was a huge event, and Harry was back. But also, I wanted another excuse to bring back Jacobs. Everyone really seemed to like him, so you know... no the real reason I got Jacobs back was because I think since he helped get Harry there, he deserved to be there for the end. Now I'll clip this at the proposal thing. In my original draft, Ginny says no, and then pulls a "just kidding" kind of thing, and accepts. It took two of my betas beating the crap out of me to realize that I wasn't even being consistent with my own style. So, that part is probably the part I care the most about, and I'm glad that this early on, it's being quite well received. Well, thanks for the review, I appreciate it (and everything else too)

Name: iluvchocolate517 (Signed) · Date: 05/24/06 22:18 · For: Chapter 6: Home
I just read this story all the way through and I loved it. It was really good.

Author's Response: I appreciate it, and hope you'll keep your eyes out for part II, though I think I may not be done with it for some time. While you wait, i would really appreciate you reading my other fics... THANKS!

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/18/06 23:23 · For: Chapter 5: Vows
Ahhhhhh!!! There you go again!! I squeeze out one (or five or six) Little tear, and now I'm all sitting here questioning my masculinity. Seriously I have nothing bad to say about this one, it may be the greatest thing you've done, ever, in your whole life, I don't know you so I'm just assuming here. Post six now, or I will find and destroy you.

The only thing I had there was some Death Cab, when that was over I listened to Becks-Guero which I thought fit well enough.

Author's Response: Alright, Six has been put in queue earlier this week. If the mod in charge of the category is consistent, then hopefully we should see the final chapter to this story sometime this weekend. Also, I highly recommend you find a copy of the Sundays Wild Horses track. Seriously, there is actually a scene in the next chapter that I wrote to that song. And don't fret over your masculinity, I'm a 28 year old man and I've at least gotten misty eyed during every story I've written here, and letting a tear slip more than once or twice. In fact, for one story, I outright cried straight through the three days it took to write it. Well, man, nothing much more to write here other than, while we wait for the final chapter to come up, why not go check out Everybody Does It... yes, shameless plug. And if you do check it out, you will most likely have a question, and before you even ask it, I direct you to my livejournal (the url is in my profile), but wait till after you've read the story to check it out. Man, you are awesome beyond the telling, i can't believe you've left such awesome reviews after each chapter. Can't wait to see your reaction to six. THANK YOU!

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/18/06 23:11 · For: Chapter 4: Conversations With Dead People
Ok, I'm retracting my complaints about Harry running away, because I get it now. It does kinda remind me of Frodo (and I'm sure I'm not the first to ever make this comparison, but it's one that I like anyway). He had done his part and saved the shire and middle earth, but no matter how happy he Should have been he just couldn't forget all the pain. Well Frodo got off easy didn't he, catch a ride on a boat and live eternity without pain in the Grey Havens.

But Harry just doesn't have the luxury, all he could do was just crawl up inside himself and suffer it. I was a bit thick headed to not see this before, but in my defense I usually read these late.

The Dumbledore scene was very well done, I could imagine tearing myself up over getting that perfect. I don't think it was perfect but it was pretty close. Mr.Jacobs being a squib was pretty left field, and though it seemed just a little too conveinient it was a fun conversation to read. Although with what you've done with Harry in this series so far, my first reaction was that Harry was going to go on a tangent about how EVEN Mr.Jacobs only liked him because he was the "Famous Harry Potter". I'm very happy you didn't take it that way, cause I may have had an aneurysm.

I felt that the conclusion to Harry's angst was very well thought out, going and talking to Tom. It was a good way to settle up.

I don't have any "Angry White Boy Music" at least I don't have any on this machine, I just put it on random, it seemed to work out.

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you finally got behind Harry running away (whew). It's interesting that you brought up Frodo, and all. Actually it's funny because a friend of mine was giving me grief because I wasn't a fan of the movies. But I did watch them, and as much as I wasn't totally thrilled, you make a wonderful analogy. I think one of the main overall themes I tried to put in this is that there really is no escape, and that you have to stand and live your life, and you're frodo comment about him catching a ride to the Grey Havens illustrates that perfectly. No, there is no one that can alleviate that guilt besides himself, and he can't run from it either, he just has to accept it, and learn to come to peace with it. I'm also glad you found my Dumbledore to be decent. I worried about that one a great deal. From what I've seen, the most commonly mischaracterized characters are Harry, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. So, when I came to the realization that I was going to have to write all three, I was like, (GULP!), and I so totally copped on on Minerva. An interesting side note, one of the things that helps me write is voices. I hear voices in my head as I write dialogue for a character. Now I'm not making any comments on the actor's abilities, but I do hear Emma, Ruper, and Dan when I write the trio. But for Dumbledore, well, I hear Jim Dale's voice. If you don't know who Jim Dale is, he's the actor who has provided his considerable vocal talents for the American version of the audio books. See, I had only started buying the paper backs a few months ago so I could read them to my daughter(well, plural now), but long before that, all I had was audio book, and so Dale, to me, IS Dumbledore. And, yeah, Jacobs being a squib was a little too convenient, but hey, at least I came up with a backstory, huh. As for Harry not rejecting Jacobs, I had several reasons for that. One, Harry wants to find a way, so I think he'll listen, or something like that. But here's the subtle bit. The chapter is conversations with dead people, and as Dumbledore said, to live, concern yourself with the living, so with me, it was important that the person who helped things fall into place for Harry was the one living conversation he had in the chapter (not counting Minerva, of course). And finally thank you about the apology scene. That's going to be important when I plug the other story on this site, but I'll do that in the next review.

Name: PrettyInPotions (Signed) · Date: 05/18/06 22:31 · For: Chapter 1: Run
You are amazing. I have been on this site for a year and only 3 people have made it onto my favorite author list and you are one of them. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Wow. Okay, thank you... I'm impressed and honored. I will do my best, though I will say as I delve deeper and deeper into this offshoot universe that I'm creating, it gets more and more difficult, but I promise to do all I can not to disappoint. Thank you.

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/18/06 21:20 · For: Chapter 3: Routine
"knock on the door Harry. Knock on the DOOR Harry. KNOCK ON THE DOOR HARRY!!!!!"

That was me, nearly yelling at my computer, quite a few times while balling my fists in frustration.
Man was pretty depressing. That's not a complaint though, you're handling it well.

I Love the theme of routine that this chapter revolves around. The day in and day out, being busy as an excuse to not deal with the real issues. I had planned on writing a lot more in this review but then you left me with that huge cliffhanger and I really must go on. I may hop back later or include that stuff in the next one. Sorry.

P.S. I didn't have a single one of the songs you recomended. I listened to The Decemberists the whole time, good sad music.

Author's Response: The Decemberists, that sounds real familiar. I'll have to look it up, I know I've heard them. You really should look up Blue October. If I had that CD I would have had that song Hate Me playing the entire way through the writing. Even now, when I hear it, there's a line in it that goes "and she whispers how could you do this to me..." and every time I hear it, I see Ginny throwing the little picture in the mud and snapping "Happy Birthday Harry!" Ah, tangent, okay, let's see what we've got here. Good, that's the exact reaction I wanted there. But I think we get some closure here eventually...

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/18/06 19:36 · For: Chapter 2: Boxes
Ok,songs. Everyday Is Exactly the Same is spot on for this chapter. I've got the Cash version of Hurt, but chose not to listen to it cause it makes me weap like a little girl. So I listened to the rest of With Teeth.

"He liked the feel of his muscles burning with the strain of hauling countless anonymous parts to and fro, the feel of sweat rolling down his labor-hardened back, the way that after a good day's work his shirt would stick to his skin and the first breeze that met him outside the warehouse would chill him enough to raise goose bumps even in record highs."

That's the kind of describtion a person can only get from the real experience of hard labor. Specially that bit about the first breeze hitting your skin.

Love the dinner with the Jacobs. It's sad to me that Harry doesn't see the link that he attracts this kind of attention because he really is a decent person. That last paragraph makes me want to reach into the story and give him a slap for being such a dork.

I still don't see Harry running away, I mean Harry has never run away from what life has brought him in the past. But the writing is still top notch so I'm willing to just suspend my disbelief and continue on because you're still pretty awesome.

Author's Response: Again, I'll ignore the disbelief,as it's been rectified. Actually, I've not done extended bouts of hard labor, but it's not a stranger to me, and that was a slightly autobiographical description. I've always found menial labor somewhat relaxing. You don't have to think, you can just do. And you know, when I made the Jacobs, they were going to just play a purpose, and then I got to the point where I just fell in love with them. Them and Ernie, I loved writing Ernie, I really like his character and how he's, to me this rough and tumble kinda kid that's just got a real good heart. And yeah, I think that's what i was going for was just, no matter how far Harry runs, as we see in a few chapters here, he's still just a good person. Anyway, Ernie was my favorite, but I really liked Jacobs too. I was going to restrict him to this story, but I may try and squeeze him into part II or III. And thank you for the awesome comment, I really appreciate it.

Name: Ice Nine IV (Anonymous) · Date: 05/18/06 18:37 · For: Chapter 1: Run
The only song I have of the ones suggested is the Gorillaz tune, but it's not in this machine. So instead I listend to the first 5 tracks of Hail to the Thief by Radiohead, I found it to work well.

Good beginning here. I like that Harry isn't all super happy having just killed a man (sort of a man anyway). Though the inner voice of Harry's fear was perhaps a tad hard on the sane and logical part of his mind. I don't know I don't fully see Harry running away from the only family he has. Not being fully happy, or even down right depressed yes, but not just running away. That being said I'm still going to continue with this one cause so far you have an excellent track record as far as I'm concerned.

"small metallic sensation"

Fo reasons beyond me I love that phrase. On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Alright, so I got five reviews to go through, and firstly I have to comment that you are the very first person to actually suggest music, so that's awesome. I'm actually glad i waited to respond to this because here you said you weren't quite feeling Harry running away, but by the time you got to chapter four, you did feel it, so I'm glad. To be honest, this chapter didn't make the cut. A little backstory. For Right Here and One Good Day, I had zero betas. Those were cold first drafts with a spell check ran to make sure I didn't flub up the grammar. For this story, I had three betas. And this chapter is actually a combination of two drafts. The bit with Harry was the original and the bit with R/Hr was actually the second. See, one Beta didn't like the original draft, saying he didn't feel Harry leaving. The R/Hr section was considerably shorter too, so, what i had done to make B-1 happy, was to lengthen the R/Hr scene out to what you have now, and then I had the other side of Harry manifest itself as a boyhood Tom Voldemort. I sent that second draft to all three betas. Beta one was still not happy, beta two liked them both, and beta three said to keep the original first half, and meld it with the rewritten second half. I did that, put it up to a vote, and it was two to one to keep the chapter. I'm really glad i did because if nothing else, i love the scene with Ron and Hermione. And man, now that you put it out there like that, that little phrase would make a cool band name. I was going to name my band (when i started one, I play guitar) "Sum of Zero," but now "small metallic sensation" really has a ring to it. Thank you, on to the next review.

Name: Monster Book of Monsters (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 21:24 · For: Chapter 5: Vows
Well you did it. You made me cry. But then, the moment was destroyed because in the very last paragraph, which was actually the very last sentence, you did it. You said, "goofily." LOL It's alright. ...Don't worry about it FRIEND.

Author's Response: WOOOOHHOOOoOOOo!!!!!!!!! I did it, yay me... Note, doing my goofy dance goofily; which is a perfectly good word. Okay, I wanna take a guess, and you'll have to tell me if I'm right... "... I'll just e-mail ya. Thanks so much. Oh, I'm so thrilled with myself now.

Name: Monster Book of Monsters (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 21:35 · For: Chapter 4: Conversations With Dead People
"...as fallible as I've proven in the past, I still hold my own advice in rather high regard, and will thusly not willfully help you not take it." What the..? Isn't that a double negative? You lost me there. And JUST when I thought you had nailed Dumbledore on the Richard Harris HEAD! Gah! Actually, you did nail Dumbledore. That was freakin' awesome. And the whole thing about Jacobs being a squib - - honestly made me say "NOOOOOO" out loud. LOL That was great! Totally took me by surprise. And what's driving me nutso is wondering WHAT THE NOTE SAID!!! UGH. You cliffhanger mother f...

Author's Response: There you are, was worried there for a mo. Actually, thank you very much on Dumbledore. I worried a lot about getting his voice down. Though, I don't picture either Richard Harris or Michael Gambion as his voice, but instead Jim Dale. I can already tell we're going to be talking about this later. As for Jacobs, I like him, and I'm already trying to figure if I can't squeeze him in to Part III... That's what sucks about making these new characters because I grow to like them (Ernie's still my favorite), and then they serve their purpose, and to be honest, I should probably let them be. As for the cliffhanger, why not go read chapter 5 already??????

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