Reviewer: canufeelthemagictonight
Date: 09/12/13 17:10
Chapter: Behind These Hazel Eyes

I really like this. This is one of the few times I've EVER seen Cho portrayed sympathetically! I don't like how everybody always hates on her...sure she cried a lot, but HER BOYFRIEND HAD DIED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Do you really expect her to forget about it that quickly?

Anyway, love your fic...it does a bit of good for the few Cho fans out there...

Reviewer: Dragon_Warrior
Date: 10/19/06 13:51
Chapter: Behind These Hazel Eyes

very pretty...reminds me of the songfic I just wrote and submitted, When There Was Me and You. I love Behind These Hazel Eyes, and that was such a good story coming from it.

Author's Response: I love that song too :). Thanks for the review!

Author's Response: I love that song too :). Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: lily_evans34
Date: 05/19/06 18:58
Chapter: Behind These Hazel Eyes

I thought that was very good. It was the side of the story that nobody’s ever seen, and you wrote it very well. Here’s a few minor grammar nit-picky issues that you might want to look at, however;


“That day, those words [no comma] were life changing.”

”Cho loved Cedric, but at the same time she hated him. Hated him for signing up for the Triwizard Tournament. Hated him for always doing stuff just for the adventure. That’s probably why he was chosen.”


There, I basically rephrased what you wrote, but it seems more powerful this way.

”Cho continued to hide away in her room until almost the start of the next term. As she was packing her trunk, her sister Amy entered Cho’s room.”

The name Amy seems a bit, well, I don’t know an exact word for it. I really like the name, but it doesn’t seem to fit with “Chang” and it doesn’t quite seem like Cho’s parents would name their kids “Cho” and “Amy.” The names are nice, though they don’t really seem to go together.

“Amy was her favorite sister.”

Could you expand a little bit on that? Why was she her favorite sister? Maybe you could just add a sentence or two in there about how Amy seemed to understand Cho better, or whatever it is. Also, does she have more than one sister? Maybe you should mention that, as well.

”Amy pushed aside a pile of clothes and sat down on the bed. Cho sat down next to her. Cho didn’t want to talk about Cedric. She couldn’t.”

I think that you should change the second “Cho” to “She.” It’s just less repetitive.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Amy said.

“Maybe later. I don’t think I can talk about it right now.”

“That’s okay. Let me know when you want to talk.” She stood up and left.


In that second line, you should take out “talk about it,” so that you have, “I don’t think I can right now.” You just seem to use ‘talk’ quite a lot in this part.

“Of course. We’ll use floo powder.”

Here I’d say something more like, “Of course. We’ll leave now,” or something like that, because the part about the floo powder just doesn’t seem to fit in with the sad mood of this story.

It was true that Cho needed new books, but she needed to get out of the house. And she really wanted to be with Amy, just for a few hours.

I changed that to two sentences, because it was a bit of a run-on.

“I’m hungry,” one of her friends said. “Let’s get something to eat.”

That’s two sentences.

Cho now felt just the way she did during the summer. She felt like everything was hopeless. Again, she struggled just to get through each day, not wanting to face people. Most importantly, she felt like she would never be able to talk to Harry again, like she should always [have to] avoid him.


I know I may seem very nit-picky, and critical, but those were just a few grammar issues that I thought I’d point out. Overall, I loved this story. You portrayed Cho’s complex personality wonderfully. Great job!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for all the suggestions.

Reviewer: Hermione_Rocks
Date: 05/18/06 17:05
Chapter: Behind These Hazel Eyes

Very nice! I liked how Cho was portrayed in this. And as a random side note, I love this song. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, i love this song, too.

Reviewer: BlackRose6693
Date: 05/18/06 11:00
Chapter: Behind These Hazel Eyes

WOO HOO! FIRST REVIEW! ! ! ! ! ! ! I love this fanfic! You told Cho's side of the story perfectly. Keep writing! :->

Author's Response: Wow, thanks!

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