OmG Les Mes!! Lovw this song and my school is doing the musical this year! any way I like this story i can't wait to see wher it goes from here.
Author's Response: Thanks! I also am a massive fan of Les Mis, especially now that it's popping up everywhere. Only one more chapter, so not far for it to go, enjoy the rest :D Thanks again.
It’s a nice take, doing a diary for Tonks – we don’t see this angle often. I do think she sounds a bit young, though. For example:
Remus was completely cool and, like, 'Afternoon, Tonks' when it wasn't even afternoon, and then everyone started laughing.
I don’t think Tonks, a twenty-some-year old Brit, would be using “like”. It sounds too American-teenager to me.
The next part is better: It was like a chronicle of his life with her, although it included other small things about Tonks' day to day life. It was extraordinary.
I like how Remus sees it as a picture of her life with him – really, it is, as Tonks falls more and more in love – but it’s very different to see a diary from a more objective view. Not that much more objective, but all the same…
And I hate it so much, I don't care about any of those things, I never have done and never will do.
You can take out the “done” and “do”: “…I never have and never will.”
I was not at all expecting Remus to transform right there – great idea!
Ha – I love the werewolf trying to get into the fridge. Again, a great new perspective.
Frowning, Tonks Apparated to the nearby park, he had once told her that it was a good place to go in the evenings to read.
That should be two sentences: “Frowning, Tonks Apparated to the nearby park. He had once told her…”
He had no proper friends that she knew of other than her, Sirius and this mysterious Andy guy. Sirius was shut away at Grimmauld Place, she was asleep half the day and always on duty and who knew about this weird Andy dude?
The Andy comments seem slightly redundant: “this mysterious Andy guy” and “this weird Andy dude”. I don’t think “dude” is really a word of the time/place that Tonks is in. Tonks doesn’t really have any basis for deciding that Andy’s weird, either. "Mysterious" works; "weird" seems presumptious.
After a while, and after deciding that ducks were really quite useless in the scheme of things, Tonks realised that Remus wasn't coming and she should search elsewhere.
Sometimes, while reading, I feel very strongly that this is being written by an American teenager. And then I read lines like this and forget all about that. It’s a very short, but excellent snip of light-heartedness, and it shows off Tonks’s sense of humour. It’s also very well phrased for good flow.
Nice cliffhanger! I’ll be checking back for the rest!
Author's Response: Ok, wow, that must be the longest review I have ever seen! Thank you so much for taking time to so thoroughly edit my work. Firstly, about the whole American teenager thing, I'm a British thirteen year old and I can asure you that the "like" is a completely normal thing! I apologise about the "weird Andy dude" section, I put that merely because that would be my first instict for Tonks and many excellent writers put part of themselves in their work, subconciously. Remus is a close friend of Tonks in this particular fiction and seeing a foreign name she has never heard mentioned before by Remus would surely provoke suspicion. Thank you for your views on my "done's and do's" and seperate sentences, but (and my apologies for being so frank) at the end of the day, it is my writing style, and if that is how it is, then that is how it's going to stay. Thank you immensely for taking time to write such an in-depth and helpful review, thank you for your compliments and when I edit the next chapter, I shall certainly watch out for Americanisms - no promises, though!
So interesting! PLEASE get the next one up soon!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Chappie nombre 4 is waiting to be validated as we speak :) I'm glad you enjoyed.
I love this story. Please hurry up with the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review!! The next chapter is in queue as we speak...or type..!! Thanks again.
What a marvellously different take you have on this situation! It's a fun one. Mind you, I can't see Remus reading a private diary (I can't really see Tonks keeping one, either), but it's not too far a stretch for a guy head-over-heels in love. The way they just missed each other was adorable.
Keep it up!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I love diaries and I wanted to include one somehow in this fic and it just seemed like the perfect situation to include one. I can see your point of view though and I probably should have worked a bit more on that particular scene. Anyway, thank you so much and chapter three is waiting to be vaildated, so keep an eye out for it! Thanks once again for the review!
Hey! Remember me? The person that wrote On My Own? lol, This is great!! Hopefully it'll be updated soon!! And I quote from you, quoting from Hercules, Two thumbs, way way up!! (lol)
Author's Response: Lol! Definitely remember you! How could I forget??! Yup! Hopefully, although I don't entirely understand the whole hacker situation, so I'm not sure how long it will take, but, yeah, hopefully soon! Thanks for the review and (this could become a tradition!) I quote from you, quoting from me, quoting from Hercules, Two thumbs way way up!!! Hehe :P
This is cute!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :)
So well written! I'm not typically a fan of song-fics, but I loved yours. Good job with the imagery. I also think you kept the characters canon, which is a very good thing. Remus stories almost always make him out to be some kind of outrageously sexy guy with superstar charisma. That is fine... but I don't think that is the Remus that JKR came up with. So anyway-- love your Tonks (lovable, clumsy, passionate) and your Remus.
P.S. I wanted that door to open soooo bad. Will you consider writting a second part?
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I find it really hard to portray characters acurately as I write my own stuff in my spare time withmy own characters who can act anyway I want them to! I am definitely going to continue writing this, I should have updated it already, really, but I went to Kenya for a couple of weeks during the holidays and I haven't quite caught up on sleep! Anyway, after this wonderful review, I'll get right on it! Thanks again!
WHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO. Lovin it Lovin it Lovin it.
Author's Response: Lol, thanks, it's nice to see (especially in capital letters!) that people like my fics!!!
oooh! cliffie! post soon! this is great i can't wait for this to continue
Author's Response: Thanks! Um...I wasn't actually planning on continuing this fic, but lots of people have asked me to, so I think I will. As soon as I've got these 2 fics that have been waiting for ages validated! Thanks again!
sniff... your story... truely beautiful.
Well Done. It made me go all teary-eyed.
I wonder what Remus will think...
Author's Response: Thanks! I don't really know what else to say to that nice review!!! I'm thinking about continuing the fic, so who knows? Maybe you will find out what Remus thinks!
hey come on!! why didnt you finish it:(:(!!
Author's Response: Er....it IS finished...hehe. It was supposed to end like that so that the reader can speculate about what happens next...then again, I have recently been contemplating about whether to continue it or not. Anyway, thanks for the review!
Wow! The suspense! The romance! A perfect mixture for this fan fic! Ten out of ten!
Author's Response: Thanks, R.A! Even though your review was only written out of pressuring from me, your friend and parter in crime, I appreciate it! Hey, when are you going to write your own fic that you can make me review???
This is really good work....
Have you written the poetry in it yourself? It's very well done...
Author's Response: You mean the song? It's from Les Mis(erables) so no, as much as I wish I had, that is all credited to Alain Boublei and some other dudes that I can't for the life of me remember the name of! Anyway, thanks a lot for your review, it means a lot to me.
That was a very beautiful fic. I am a huge fan of Remus and Tonks and it made me want to cry. . . please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot! Wow! I made someone cry! Wow, I really must stop using "wow"!!! Very sorry to disappoint you, but this is a one-shot, no updating, as much as I would love to. Sorry and thanks for reviewing!
This is a WAND-erful story! I love that song, from Les' Mis. ! Rock on, dude!
Author's Response: Lol, fantastic play on words! Hehe. Oooh, I'm a dude now!! *laughs hysterically* (it's a long story!!!)
I love this story! I love the song, "One my Own" from Les' Meis... It's BRILLIANT!!
Author's Response: Yay! So much love! Lol! I completely agree with thinking that Les Mis is completely and utterly, without question is the best show in the universe!
sooooooooooo..........what happens?!?!?!? : )
Author's Response: Well, you know what happens eventually by reading HBP! What happens after that scene is for you to speculate about!
omg! i love this song! my chorus just did Les Miserables. it was so amazing! this was such a good fic.
Author's Response: Wow! Lucky! I've always wanted to perform it! Anyways, jealousy moment over!! Thanks so much for the review, as always, it is extremely appreciated!!!
that was beautiful!
Author's Response: *dances crazily* Wow! Another lovely review!! Thank you so much!!!