At first I was heistant to read this mainly due to the fact that so many poems on apathy seems to lead astray from its original course. Yet the moment I finished this poem I was left with this heart-felt feeling of understanding, the meaning of apathy tintinnabulating through my mind. This really was a good poem, and one that did not stray away from its course, either.
I especially liked this part, all for its fluency and meaning and good wording. Not to mention it works very well as introducing the upcoming stanzas:
Pay heed now, to this junction;
It will not lead astray.
A tale of so much apathy
I will relate today.
There weren't much to say on the conveyance of apathy, the essence, except that it is very deep and unequivocal; along with some brilliant word choice it was what made this poem good. The only error I could find in the poem was (grammatically, that is):
Because of thier apathy,
The Lord of Wars was lost.
Because of their indifference,
He paid the final cost.
In the aforeshown stanza "thier" should be "their".
Thank you for sharing this lovely, meaningful poem.
I enjoyed reading this poem. It had good flow and I thought you did very well with some of your rhymes. Though, I’m not so sure I would consider the three founders other than Salazar Slytherin apathetic. I’m a little rusty on my cannon, but I thought Slytherin left the school, in part, because he could not convince the other three to run the school the way he wanted. I guess I just don’t see where the other three could have known, at the time, what a problem this would become. Also, I think you mispelled their in the third from last stanza. Aside from those small details, I really enjoyed your poem. Good job!
i wanna see more of your work