Reviewer: SPotter
Date: 07/30/06 16:36
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

wow

Reviewer: The Half Blood Prince
Date: 07/03/06 13:00
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

At first I was heistant to read this mainly due to the fact that so many poems on apathy seems to lead astray from its original course. Yet the moment I finished this poem I was left with this heart-felt feeling of understanding, the meaning of apathy tintinnabulating through my mind. This really was a good poem, and one that did not stray away from its course, either.



I especially liked this part, all for its fluency and meaning and good wording. Not to mention it works very well as introducing the upcoming stanzas:



Pay heed now, to this junction;
It will not lead astray.
A tale of so much apathy
I will relate today.




There weren't much to say on the conveyance of apathy, the essence, except that it is very deep and unequivocal; along with some brilliant word choice it was what made this poem good. The only error I could find in the poem was (grammatically, that is):



Because of thier apathy,
The Lord of Wars was lost.
Because of their indifference,
He paid the final cost.



In the aforeshown stanza "thier" should be "their".


Thank you for sharing this lovely, meaningful poem.

Reviewer: Vader
Date: 05/01/06 12:19
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

I enjoyed reading this poem. It had good flow and I thought you did very well with some of your rhymes. Though, Iím not so sure I would consider the three founders other than Salazar Slytherin apathetic. Iím a little rusty on my cannon, but I thought Slytherin left the school, in part, because he could not convince the other three to run the school the way he wanted. I guess I just donít see where the other three could have known, at the time, what a problem this would become. Also, I think you mispelled their in the third from last stanza. Aside from those small details, I really enjoyed your poem. Good job!

Reviewer: chislarina
Date: 04/30/06 2:02
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

cool
i like
i wanna see more of your work
chislarina

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Skeletons' Tale by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," wrote Shakespeare. This story...
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES