Reviewer: SPotter
Date: 07/30/06 16:36
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

wow

Reviewer: The Half Blood Prince
Date: 07/03/06 13:00
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

At first I was heistant to read this mainly due to the fact that so many poems on apathy seems to lead astray from its original course. Yet the moment I finished this poem I was left with this heart-felt feeling of understanding, the meaning of apathy tintinnabulating through my mind. This really was a good poem, and one that did not stray away from its course, either.



I especially liked this part, all for its fluency and meaning and good wording. Not to mention it works very well as introducing the upcoming stanzas:



Pay heed now, to this junction;
It will not lead astray.
A tale of so much apathy
I will relate today.




There weren't much to say on the conveyance of apathy, the essence, except that it is very deep and unequivocal; along with some brilliant word choice it was what made this poem good. The only error I could find in the poem was (grammatically, that is):



Because of thier apathy,
The Lord of Wars was lost.
Because of their indifference,
He paid the final cost.



In the aforeshown stanza "thier" should be "their".


Thank you for sharing this lovely, meaningful poem.

Reviewer: Vader
Date: 05/01/06 12:19
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

I enjoyed reading this poem. It had good flow and I thought you did very well with some of your rhymes. Though, Iím not so sure I would consider the three founders other than Salazar Slytherin apathetic. Iím a little rusty on my cannon, but I thought Slytherin left the school, in part, because he could not convince the other three to run the school the way he wanted. I guess I just donít see where the other three could have known, at the time, what a problem this would become. Also, I think you mispelled their in the third from last stanza. Aside from those small details, I really enjoyed your poem. Good job!

Reviewer: chislarina
Date: 04/30/06 2:02
Chapter: The Lost Lord of Wars

cool
i like
i wanna see more of your work
chislarina

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
FEATURED
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.
CATEGORIES