Reviews For From Fen to Glen
Reviewer: joanna
Date: 07/29/06 22:21
Chapter: Birth

I really like the childhood you worked out for Salazar. It was very original and to place it into Afghanistan was really creative and unique. Your description of Kabul was fantastic, the imagery took me right there, to the middle of the city; I heard the shouts, I smelled the spices and the scents of the Orient.

Even at this age, Salazar wanted power.

This was a very powerful sentence at that place of the story.

When he realised what the slave traders wanted to do with him, his thoughts were right on spot for the future Salazar Slytherin. They were going to put him with those people, those battered, half-people...

This is a really great fic!

Courtesy of

The Naughty Penguin Society

Author's Response: I loved writing about Kabul, and it seems to have shown. Glad you enjoyed it, you naughty penguin you!

Reviewer: Her My Own EE
Date: 07/02/06 11:27
Chapter: Spinning Gold

I wonder will Rowena accept him? I like that you made Salazar the founder of the pureblood movement, at best a halfblood. He was probably a muggle-born. Certainly if his mother had magic she would have been able to train and/or focus his magic. The paralell to Voldemort, whose mother's power was rather weak a his father a muggle, is very interesting. Malfoi, every story needs one.

Author's Response: LOL... got to get the Malfoi in somewhere! Thanks for the review. Good to know you are enjoying the story.

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 06/14/06 22:36
Chapter: Spinning Gold

This is a very interesting story. I find it quite facinating. You have found very interesting ways for the founders to meet. I look forward to the way you work Hugglepuff into the story. It should be very interesting! I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: I have finally plotted Helga into the story, and I hope you like it when we get there. Thanks for the continued reviews, they mean a lot.

Reviewer: QueenHal
Date: 06/12/06 19:17
Chapter: Re-birth

How I love your writing, dearest Jan. You make everything so rich and colorful that it's just a delight to read. I love how you're going forward with the plot in this chapter, naming the Blonde Man (Malfoi?! As in... Malfoy?), giving him a a distinct and intriguing personality, introducing the Gryffindor father and son, tying in the “Fen” to the story...


I'm slightly confused about the language subplot you've introduced. Is Salazar able to understand English only at certain times and not at others? Or does this have something to do with his Parseltongue? Or is this all connected? Speaking of Parseltongue, I find it highly interesting that the elder Gryffindor can speak it as well. You've got me very curious...


Thank you kindly for another wonderful chapter, as finely woven as a tapestry. I hope you continue to grace us with further chapters in this story... it's too good to go without.

Author's Response: Hee hee. gremlin.

Reviewer: QueenHal
Date: 06/12/06 19:15
Chapter: Re-birth

How I love your writing, dearest Jan. You make everything so rich and colorful that it's just a delight to read. I love how you're going forward with the plot in this chapter, naming the Blonde Man (Malfoi?! As in... Malfoy?), giving him a a distinct and intriguing personality, introducing the Gryffindor father and son, tying in the “Fen” to the story...


I'm slightly confused about the language subplot you've introduced. Is Salazar able to understand English only at certain times and not at others? Or does this have something to do with his Parseltongue? Or is this all connected? Speaking of Parseltongue, I find it highly interesting that the elder Gryffindor can speak it as well. You've got me very curious...


Thank you kindly for another wonderful chapter, as finely woven as a tapestry. I hope you continue to grace us with further chapters in this story... it's too good to go without.

Author's Response: I don't think I've treated the language thing with as much clarity as I might have done. I'll have to look at that section again. Thank you again for a wonderful review. One of the most rewarding things about writing is knowing that someone is enjoying it. :-)

Reviewer: Newlib92
Date: 05/24/06 21:35
Chapter: Birth

Wow! I really like it so far. It gets really in depth into Salazar's childhood and starts to explain why he acts the way he does. He simply wants power. Maybe it will help explain what happened with Rowna? Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. And I'm updating again!

Reviewer: QueenHal
Date: 04/24/06 0:50
Chapter: Birth

I am tempted to just set up a shrine for you right now. But I won't... I have a review to write first ;)


So Salazar grew up in medieval Afganistan—now that is a take I've never even heard of before. It's so refreshingly original and different, and yet, it fits. And the bit about him being the “bringer of disaster” is so ominously correct that it brings shivers to my skin.


You've obviously done an impressive amount of research for this story—and it shows. The description of the bazaar marketplace, of the slave trading, of the Kabul characters, are all incredibly wonderful and detailed. When an author takes the time to really research, it's just such a lovely gift to the reader. Thank you for this.


I forgot to mention previously how delicious your descriptions are. For example, “The shouts of the traders traced a lively path above his head, and his dark eyes drank hungrily of the scenes before him.” is a line that is just thrilling to read. Even without speaking out loud, the words just roll around like sweat honey on my tongue. You have this incredible gift with words. And not just words, but storytelling in general. Your sentences flow perfectly, your story progresses just the right rate. I'm envious of this ability.


I wish I could find something to concrit... but it's nearly impossible. Your characterization, structure, and storytelling ability is just so flawless. My only qualm is with this line:
“Because I am a snake too,” Salazar said. “but I didn’t get your body.”
I know it's supposed to be a simple line, but it just doesn't roll right in my head. Perhaps, “I just wasn't born in a snake's body.” I'm not sure... it's really fine as-is, although “But” could be capitalized.


Otherwise, I've got nothing. All I know is that this story is going to be the best Founder Era tale I've had the pleasure of reading. Thank you, Jan.

Author's Response: *blushes desperately* Thank you. *blushes again*

Reviewer: QueenHal
Date: 04/24/06 0:09
Chapter: Prologue

Jan! Jan! Jan! Someone whispered to me that you were writing a Salazar/Rowena and I just about popped with excitement. (And that's “popped” not “pooped” in case you were wondering). S/R is most definitely my little-known OTP. Now with that said, I must tell you how perfectly perfect this prologue was. Immediately and thoroughly you have set the stage for this piece: It's dark, it's medieval, it's real and well thought-out. Your Salazar is one that I'm immediately drawn to—he's not an evil man, as so many make him out to be; you've made him a real character who's been driven to a certain mindset by unfortunate circumstances.


And now you have me drooling for more.


There's so much story here already... in this grungey pub in this little town of Alnwick. And I'm adoring the idea that Salazar is there to build the very castle that has provided the backdrop of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films. Yet, obviously, he has another agenda...It's so appropriate that I'm in awe of the idea. It's a perfect beginning to this tale you are about to spin. And Ruairi—a squib born to Rowena and Salazar? Could this be the reason behind his betrayal? Again you have me enthralled with the beginning threads of what I know is going to be an intricately woven plot.


And now.... onto the next chapter. *rubs hands together*

Author's Response: Glad you like the S/RR ship. It's rapidly becoming my OTP! Thank you for a lovely review. I hope you think the rest is as good.

Reviewer: Poultrygeist99
Date: 04/23/06 14:50
Chapter: Birth

ooooo.... sneaky little cuss!

Author's Response: I know!

Reviewer: Poultrygeist99
Date: 04/23/06 14:43
Chapter: Prologue

I've got this mental image of Salazar sitting in a dark corner of a pub saying, "My ass twitches. You people make my ass twitch." What a perfectly grumpy old codger!

Author's Response: *giggles*

Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 04/23/06 4:57
Chapter: Birth

First of all, apologies for the peculiar grammar in that last review. Not quite sure what happened! Should have been ‘I have an exceedingly picky gripe’. Lol – I got excited when it gave me an option to delete the review, but it didn’t work. Anyway, on to this chapter:



Again, it made wonderful, interesting reading. I love all the back-story and the idea of him coming from Pakistan/Afghanistan. Also loved the introduction of his parseltongue abilities and the way that you introduced some lovely dry asides. Great reading.



random pickiness/praise:



At first they feted him, but when an unfortunate incident arose with a Cobra and the village elder’s granddaughter, something had to give. ‘The ‘something has to give’ seems a bit inelegant, amongst everything else. Just a bit too contemporary/colloquial, if you know what I mean.




by the time the slave trader bought him, they were on their fifth roof, so his quick sale could have been understandable to these subsistence farmers Ha, ha, this one made me laugh aloud. I applaud the way you’ve portrayed this troublesome infant without making it sappy.



By the time the traders took him, he was well-advance in his belief Eek! A typo! (Who am I to crow, lol!)



and his small mind was made up. ‘small mind’ tripped me up a bit. Implies lack of intellect. Would prefer ‘infant mind’.



“Very well,” it hissed. “What would you have me do, snakechild?” I love this. It gave me shivers.



The man also had one of the most powerful attitudes that he had ever seen, far more powerful than his foolish stepfather. And he was exotic too, with that blonde hair and penetrating blue eyes. Am I getting to far ahead of myself (or losing my grip), if I comment that this person reminds me of someone?



He rolled the name across his tongue like a jewel as he stood at the prow of the ship, and knew that he would find what he was looking for on this far shore. He faced the salt spray with elation as his mother country fell behind him.



It was his time; it would be his time. More, and much bigger shivers! Wonderful! Can’t wait for the next.





Author's Response: Thank you for the typos. *whispers* Unbetad chapter.

Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 04/23/06 4:40
Chapter: Prologue

Oh, this is a real treat. I am so excited to read this prologue as it conveys a really exciting sense of what is to come. You give us some enticing details – that he built Hogwarts, that he has a son and that some magical weakness has been established in his line. It makes me think immediately of the Gaunts.

As ever, you text is amazingly detailed and atmospheric. I was exceedingly picky gripe, I’m afraid: The one person he had ever loved remained there, while he had left under the shadow of the other three founders’ disapproval. - I found this sentence confusing as it seems to imply that the only person he had loved was not one of the three founders. Now, I’m making a big assumption, but I’m guessing that this person is RR. Lol, I’m probably wrong, in which case the line is fine.

Thanks so much, I enjoyed it immensely. Reading on…



Author's Response: Thanks, Harriet... and you caught that error in the line. It is RR and I will fix that! Hope you're still reading!

Reviewer: Little Miss Naughty
Date: 04/22/06 23:09
Chapter: Birth

Good. I like your descriptive writing style and different take on the founder's pasts:)

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope this is a little different to the standard Founders story.

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 04/20/06 14:24
Chapter: Prologue

This has me thinking what you are going to write next. Having his son be a Squib is very interesting. It would also explain a lot. You would think you'd hear something about his family after him.

Author's Response: Ultra late replying to these reviews. Thank you, Cheslin! Yes, the fact that the family disappears is interesting... there had to be a reason for that.

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