this is a really nice poem, i can tell you worked on it. You can tell potter has matured but he still is a marauder at heart.
Ha ha! This is quite humorous and entertaining. I haven't seen a poem talking about James' transition yet, so this was definetely something new!
I must say, I really like your wording. Words such as "sage," "ranscendent goddess," and "ire" add such depth to your poem. Not only words, but the rhyming scheme does as well. It is very fun.
However, one thing that could make it better is showing (or telling) how James changes. I mean, how does he "gain maturity" and "wisen up"?
Kate -> Knight of the Turnip Table
an excellent poem, if I do say so myself! (and I do, by the way.) It flows very nicely, and it made me giggle. =) Keep up the great work!
You are one of my favorite fanfic writers, and an awesome poet too!!
Author's Response: Ehh, poetry. Normally I keep it confined to journals and don't let it loose on innocent bystanders, haha. But if you think so, that's fine with me....thanks for reviewing!
Good job! I really like this poem and how it is told from James' POV and how he sees that he needs to grow up. One thing though, instead of breaking the rhythm of the poem to tell the reader it is five months later, include that in a stanza. Having the last two stanza's broken away from the rest of the poem detracted from the emotion that was being conveyed. Good job and good luck!
Author's Response: Good point about the stanza! I never saw it like that. To tell the truth, I hate rhyming poetry, and I was trying to finish it as fast as possible. *hangs head* I'll try to improve that, though. Thanks for the advice and the review!