Preethi! *huggles SPEW buddy* So I’ve read another one of your historical one-shots, still no Marauder Era though. I have to say I liked this more than I did Only a Dream, but that’s probably because I’ve never liked the Founders that much but I love all things Malfoy.
Isla Malfoy was a very nice Malfoy. I especially loved how she allowed Tom to call her Isla, but only when they’re alone, of course. I almost felt sorry for Tom for being treated like a second-class wizard, just because he isn’t rich and Isla thinks him beneath her. She seemed to not even listen to him or take him seriously most of the time (as can be seen when she insists that he drink something, even though he doesn’t want to). I can understand why he killed her, I think. The trophies she had everywhere in the Manor were a nice touch and showed how much importance status has to her. This was then shown again in her wish to have Alphard Black killed, just because he wouldn’t marry her.
The tiara belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw, did it not? But what does the inscription mean? I’ve thought about it long and hard, but I still have no idea what it means.
Some small nit-picks:
The covers opened and inside it was a small box ‘Covers’ is plural, so it should be ‘inside them’, not ‘inside it’, when you refer to them again.
The robe had enveloped itself around her, attempting to strangle her. The verb ‘envelope’ means to wrap something up in something else, so all you need to put here is ‘the robe enveloped her’, if you want to use ‘itself around her’ it should be ‘the robe wrapped itself around her’.
Well, I really enjoyed this story, keep up the good work. *hugs*
Author's Response: Ilka! *huggles* lol, I like this fic better than the Founders one too. :) I'm glad you thought Isla was a proper Malfoy; that was something I was a bit worried about. As for the inscription, well, there's this theory floating around that The Mirror of Erised was a Ravenclaw artifact. And you know how the inscription on the Mirror read backwards gives you a message? I thought it would be cool to use the same idea here, since it's a Ravenclaw artifact after all. The inscription on the tiara read backwards simply says 'This is the property of Rowena Ravenclaw' ;) Oh, and thanks for pointing those two out to me. I'll fix it ASAP. :) Thanks again for reviewing, dear! *hugs*
Nice story. Liked it. The characters came alive.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Igo! Glad you liked it :D
Whoa! This was almost eerie like. I really enjoyed it. I loved your evil Tom. It was really well done. Very impressed. :D
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, Sly Severus! I enjoyed evil! Tom too. Thanks for reviewing :)
So, I'm assuming that's the Ravenclaw Horcrux? Tres bien--this fic had me intrigued.
Author's Response: Yes, Christine, that's the Ravenclaw Horcrux. :) Thanks for reviewing!
wow, that was really powerful. makes voldemort seem so much more evil than we really think of him sometimes! very good, 10/10!
Author's Response: Thanks halfbloodprincess! And I believe we're yet to see the worst of Voldemort and what he's capable of. *shiver*
Wow, what an excellent story! I loved the intricate details and how you took inocuous plot points from the canon and explained them in your story. Also, your characterization was quite good, as Tom seemed extremely hard and callous, but also power hungry. And the inscription on the tiara was very coy. Really well done.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks, Anasuya for your wonderful review! *hugs*
I really enjoyed this fic and the insight given on Riddle's character. The way Isla worships Tom reminds me of Dumbledore's discription of how people reacted around Tom. The subtle manipultion by Tom seemed very true to his character, along with the plot twist at the end.
Secondly I loved your desciption. When Tom is noticing the room where Isla is, and Isla grimace when looking at Dobby show subtle hints of her character. You really feel like you understand Isla's character by the end of this.
One question, why do think the Malfoy'd would have relic a Ravenclaw's, considering their Slytherin background?
Author's Response: Thanks for your wonderful review, Gonz! :D As to why the Malfoys would have a relic of Ravenclaw's, the tiara came to their family through Isla's aunt who was a distant descendant of Ravenclaw. And she handed it over to Isla. Even though they were basically Slytherins, they wouldn't say no to a Ravenclaw artifact, considering the historic importance of it, would they?
What a clever little story! The last sentence was my favorite by far. I also like what atkarid said, how Isla lost the evilness crown at the end when Tom stole the tiara and killed her. He had no reason, while she wanted revenge. There were a lot of good ties to the HP universe here, like how “Potter” was killed for being too much of a Muggle-lover. It must be a family failing.
So when you described Tom as surveying the Malfoy Manor “greedily” it made me wonder if he’d only come there to find an artifact of Ravenclaw’s. Helping Isla be a nasty little girl, could that have been an excuse to get there? That is what I’m sort of wondering.
Just one little thing that I might consider changing: your first sentence. I think I would rearrange it so that it would be: “It was impossible for even a blind man to overlook Malfoy Manor.” It’s just a tad confusing the way it is right now. Other than that, it’s quite well-written and very engaging.
Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: Wow, CA, what a wonderfully long review! Thanks, dear! Regarding the comment you made on Isla, well, she isn't exactly "evil" but maybe a little nasty, but basically she was humiliated and so wanted revenge but Tom was rotten from the beginning, and so Isla lost the evilness crown. And Tom surveying the Malfoy Manor greedily was intentional because all he wanted to do with that place was to get the tiara from Isla and he could go easily on the pretext of selling the cupboard to her. And I'll change that first sentence ASAP. Thanks again for the superb review! You rock!
Wow! I really liked that! I loved the character of Isla, and how she seems eviler than Tom, but at the end, it's him that's eviler. I don't know if Tom would say "Say goodbye" but overall, everything was great!
Author's Response: Thanks :D! And about the say goodbye part, it was to show his twisted mind a bit more.
Very exciting! Excellent descriptions, and lots of room for potential story development. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks. :) But this remains as a one shot.