sorry but snape would never do this although he is s but he is g also
Hmmm....this is interesting. Was this written pre-DH or did you choose to ignore DH? Oh well. I've always wondered about the dynamic between Snape and his mother.
He was reading a book called Magical Venoms for no particular reason I'm going to have to disagree with Lian, because that was one of my favorite lines! When I'm upset and want to distract myself, sometimes I'll pull a random book off my shelf and just start reading from the middle, and that's what this reminded me of. He had a reason for reading, to distract himself, but no particular reason for that specific book, which just emphasizes his mental state. Now maybe you didn't intend any of that, but that's how I saw it and I liked it. :)
This fic was indeed dark and twisty, with quite a body count at the end! I like how you used Snape's ambiguity against him, to his downfall. Most people either believe he's definitely more on one side than the other,but reading about the torment of being stuck in the middle was a good characterization. Very bleak and dark overall, which I love. :)
There was one thing in the dialogue that felt off to me. When Eileen says "Getting interested in the Dark Arts first, joining He Who Must Not Be Named next, and now - on the run! I never brought you up to be like this!" First, I thought "getting interested in the Dark Arts" sounded kind of mild, and that "getting mixed up in the Dark Arts" might have been a better way to show her disapproval. Also, instead of "now - on the run!" I'd say something about him killing Dumbledore, which is probably a worse crime to her than just being on the run for it. Maybe "now - on the run for murder!" I did love her final words, though. "Bad company, Severus." That was great, and sure to haunt him for his short remaining time.
Wonderful job creating a very troubling and moving dark fic!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review, BC! Snape's Folly is not one of my favourite stories, but I'm glad you liked it!
So here I am at last, leaving you a slightly belated review. I think Snape is one of the most interesting and complex characters in the books, so it’s probably not surprising that I picked this story to read and review. I liked how you made the story about Snape and his relationship with his mother rather than about his relationship with Dumbledore or with Draco. Very original!
You included the perfect amount of description –– not too little, but not so much that I couldn’t follow the story. However, I think you could make the descriptions much stronger if you made them less vague and indefinite. It seems small, but the difference between ‘a’ and ‘the’ can be the difference between fuzzy and crisp images. Saying there are “a few doors” and that Snape points his wand at “a large lock” on the inside of the door gives the impression that you’re not really sure what you’re describing. By removing the “a few” before doors and changing “a large lock” to “the large lock,” you make the descriptions much more definite and precise, which in turn makes them even more powerful for the reader.
He was reading a book called Magical Venoms for no particular reason, holding a glass of blood-red wine in hand, sitting on the sofa. Two things bothered me about this sentence. First was the “for no particular reason.” Very few people read books for no particular reason. This book seems to be a potions manual. If he has no other reason, Snape is at least reading it because he’s interested in potions. And if he really is reading it for no particular reason, why say so? You can convey the idea that he’s just looking through it by using another verb –– maybe ‘browsing’ –– if that’s what you’re going for. But as it stands, that phrase doesn’t add anything. I was also bothered by your description of the wine as ‘blood-red.’ Most people know what color red wine is, so ‘blood-red’ doesn’t –– speaking only in terms of imagery –– convey anything that ‘red’ does not. You probably chose it to set the mood and create foreshadowing, but there are better ways to do that. Blood-red wine is cliché, and I’m sure you can come up with a more creative way to foreshadow.
My favorite part of the story was when Snape killed Pettigrew. Snape’s anger and vengefulness felt very real, and you do a great job at describing fast-paced action. Very chilling indeed! All in all, a very interesting exploration of Snape’s situation! *huggles*
Author's Response: Thanks for this great review and the constructive criticism, Lian! I'm glad I managed to please you.
It was beautiful, Mini. It brought goosebumps all over my body and touched me deeply. You have done a real gr8 job in describing the love of a son for his mother as well as bringing out the dark side of Snape.
Its not that you have turned Snape into a good, charming man; nor have you converted him into a big cheat and a liar and a murderer. He just keeps... hanging in between all through the fic. I just loved your fic!
Thank you for this lovely review, Pooja!
I wanted to bring out Snape's Dark side in the story, because I hate him after what he did to Albus in HBP. Later, I thought that leaving the question of Snape's loyalty to the reader would be better suited for the plot line. I'm glad you loved the fic!
This was such a wonderful story! I liked it even more than your other one-shots! Especially at the end when Snape killed himself--it was so sad! And how his mother was the only person who cared for him, not Dumbledore. That's even sadder. Very well-written, and very engaging. And to think I wouldn't have read any stories if you hadn't left me a review on my own stories :) It just goes to show how good it is to leave reviews on the stories you read :P
Author's Response: You think it's better than all my other one-shots? Thanks for that comment, but if you've read my bio, you'll notice that SF is my first story here (and not the best one, in my opinion, at least). Thanks again for your compliments and your other reviews. :D
Wow, what a bloodbath! I sort of feel bad for Snape - but not for Bellatrix! Way to get her, I loved it. ;) I thought you did a good job with the character of his mother. I think there is definetly history there that has affected Snape's character. Did you have any plans to continue this storyline with Draco? Good job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Bloodbath, indeed! I'm glad that you liked my story. Sorry, Gina, but I don't have plans to continue it, as it's just a one-shot. I did include a little more detail in the abuse incident to make the story more believable. This and the suicide, I think, are responsible for the high rating. Thanks for your review, Gina!
What a sad, almost heart-breaking story!
My eyes were pretty much glued to the computer screen the whole time, which just shows what an amazing author you are.
This fic has really affected me...I wasn't able to type the first sentence of this review right after I finished reading the last line. You've got me thinking, quiet. A feat not many authors can do, so I congratulate you on a job well done.
The whole conversation between Snape and his mother is enthralling; engaging. That part was when I realized this wasn't going to be any ordinary Dark fic.
The jet of green light hit her squarely in the chest. Severus was extremely angry. He snatched his wand from Rookwood and, before anyone could stop him, yelled “AVADA KEDAVRA!” and pointed his wand at Bellatrix; who fell to the ground a second later; dead and lifeless. Severus stupefied Bellatrix’s husband soon after killing Bellatrix. He looked around only to see the other three people Disapparating after one of them cast the dreaded Dark Mark into the air. Now he moved towards his mother’s body, and knelt by her side, looking at her pale, long face and into her blank, lifeless eyes.
This section is blunt and to the point, which fits the mood of the story spectacularly. It makes the reader feel very strongly for the desperate situation.
Although I noted the suicide warning before clicking this story, I forgot all about it until I came to the respective section -- another justification of what a lovely author you are.
As Severus Snape swallowed the chill potion and felt his body go numb, he sat down in a chair, and closed his eyes. His last thoughts went to the only person who had truly cared about him.
Not Albus Dumbledore – but Eileen Prince.
One of the better endings I've seen on MNFF. I don't think I have to explain why it is so incredible. Everything -- all that Snape had done and learned and seen in his life -- comes down to this.
Author's Response: *SQUEE!* Anna, what a long and appreciative review! Thank you! It seems you like everything about the story. I'm glad that I managed to move you and ... er ... momentarily stun you into silence. :D
Author's Response: This isn't the only angsty/tear-jerker fic that I've written. More stories of that kind can be found at my author's page, if you're interested in reading my other fics.
I, personally, believe that Snape is good, but this interpretation is also very interesting. I don't really think Snape would take "the coward's way out" as some would see it, though. I think if he did, though, he would try to justify it in some way other than another way out. Otherwise... a touching story.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm surprised that I managed to move you.
Wow--Dumbledore Prince, you're not only a fantastic reviewer, but also a magnificent writer! I find your insinuations concerning Snape's character very believable. To think, that he might be on neither side...it's very good idea, and you played out the pieces perfectly. Congratulations on a job well done!
Author's Response: Hi, Christine! Thanks for the appreciative review!
Very good! The best one-shot I've ever read!
Author's Response: That's one of the best compliments I've ever received! :D
I enjoyed your descriptions, everything from Spinner's End to the goblet. Very good eye for detail!
My view of Severus and yours are very different, though, and I don't believe he would ever write....
"Lastly, I want you to know that I am neither on the Light Side, nor on the Dark Side. I am stuck in between, and I can surrender to neither. Therefore, I am taking the only way out."
I think he did mourn Dumbledore, agreed to kill him, is on the Light Side, (even if his 'hat' is dingy gray) and Jo will probably give him a Darth Vader end in book 7. *heaves sigh and goes back to writing Snape story where his mother isn't the only one who cares for him*
Thanks for sharing your idea of what will happen! ^_^
Author's Response: I don't believe that Snape will commit suicide in book 7. I can think of a Black Snape or a Grey Snape. A Darth Vader ending? Looks like you've been watching way too much Star Wars lol. Thank you for your review!
Wow, that was really powerful stuff there. It's a reversion of Snape to his former self as a death eater and it is quite shocking to see what he is capable of, especially after seeing the death of his mother and being betrayed at the same time.
I love the irony in that, while double crossing You-Know-Who, he himself is double crossed. Great descriptions and I like that fact that Snape leaves with a just conscience offering advice to Draco. It goes right along with the recurring theme in the HP series of everyone having choices.
The only thing I could see is in one sentence, "They were in a dark street, which had a single lamppost on the other end of the street," you use "street" twice in the same sentence. I'm sure you could easily change that to something like "road" to prevent repetition. Other than that, a great one-shot and very nice ties to Snape's character and his past.
Author's Response: Thanks for the detailed review. Detailed reviews cheer me up a lot. Just so that you know, I hate Snape. I'll try to tweak that sentence a bit. Thanks for pointing it out!
Great. I have always wanted to see Snape die. Too bad his mother had to die as well to make him see his mistake.
Author's Response: Ah, a fellow Snape hater ... I don't think Snape fans will like my story.
Author's Response: By the way, thanks for the review!
I think it displayes Snape's feelings correctly but it is not written properly as it should be from his point of view. The voice speaking seems to simple to be the Severus we know. And isn't he a bit slow to react? He would NOT have stood there and allowed Bellatrix to torture, then kill his mother. His reaction seems a bit fake. I don't mean to be overly critical or anything, it just struck me as a case of OOCness. Snape doesn't strike me as the type to commit suicide either, taking the coward's way out. He would have stood up to voldemort. But that's how you wanted your storyline to go, though, so that's different case. All in all, interesting plot.
Author's Response: Yes, that's how I visualised my story. Faked reactions are part of a double agent's job, don't you think?
this is really good. It is totally unbelievable if you want to claim that it could be in HP #7, but it's really very good
Author's Response: No, I don't want to claim that. (My theory: Black Snape).
Author's Response: By the way, thanks for the review.
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Wow! A really good story. It shows what Snape must feel like now, having outlawed himself from one side and rickety on the other!
Author's Response: Thanks! Of course, my theory for book seven is that Snape is evil, but I thought of a slightly different scenario. Validated, finally!