Very Very Very good. 9.9/10. The only reason for the one point off was that I'm wondering, "Is book 6 disregarded or did you just for get that Ron is 17 not 16?"
wow! i really love this story, keep up the good work!
AHHH HERMIONE! Great story, it shows the frustration with their relatonship JKR puts into the stories. I didn't know that they were about to kiss until she said it! OMG can't wait for next chappie
ooh, what'll happen next?
cool! it's nice to have an idea of what may have happened while harry wasn't with both of them (or j.k. wasn't narrating their every move). great job!
OMG!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T THEY KISS!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID HERMIONE SAY THAT????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................. *MUST.......STOP....USING....CAPLOCKS!!*
LOVIN IT!!!!! UPDATE ASAP!!!!! XXXXXXXX
Under the help section, look at formatting submissions. It tells you how to make things italicized, bold, etc.
great second chapter. i hope you continue with more! i love it.
I LOVED IT IT WAS SOOO CUTE!!
Nice story, I enjoyed this. I think you got Ron and Hermione's characters down well, especially their reactions and thoughts to some things. One thing I found was that Ginny's character seemed a bit awkward, I wasn't too fond of her short sentences, they didn't really seem to flow very well. Other than that, very good. A hint - thoughts (eg: "Why did he have to pull his hand away? Hermione thought") are meant to be in italics, it makes it clearer to distinguish it from narration. I thought a lot of the description was well done, such as "The air was crisp", (I also liked Ron's "muddy sneakers", but they would be called "trainers" in England) and especially the Weasely's garden as an "uncontainable jungle"! The ending was a bit abrupt, but that's probably what you were going for, I liked it. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the feedback, I will be sure to look at that. One thing though, the thoughts were italicized when I had them in microsoft word but then when I posted the story it didn't show the italics. Have you come across this problem? If you have could you tell me how to correct it? Thanks again, *~Artemay~*
Very nice! I enjoyed it. I'd love to read more if you plan to continue the story.
oh my gosh, how sweet, i loved it! It was so cute, really well written, beautifully done, i loved it!
This is cute, but I kinda wish it had more fluff...