Reviews For Ultimate Betrayal
Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 06/06/08 21:27
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Danm, you ended on a clifie. I know Snape thinks Harry will succeed, but what if he doesn't?

Reviewer: Vorona
Date: 06/03/07 18:03
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

I have to enjoy the irony that you posted this a mere day after I posted my first story here, that deals exactly with the notion of the deathly potion.

It was a delight to read another story with that idea and also to see a version of Snape's mindset during this event.

Reviewer: Thespidermanblanket
Date: 09/07/06 21:54
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

on word: Amazing
-the spidermanblanket

Reviewer: Vindictus Viridian
Date: 04/27/06 22:11
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Toasted Turnip Review

For the record I already wrote this review once, and the computer ate it. If it sounds a little breathless, that's why!


First off, very nicely done -- it's always good to see Severus redeem himself in fine style. I hope you come back to this and make yourself happy with the bits you feel rushed past. I'm curious to see how that would go.

Mandatory nitpicking: You have a 'Kedarva' in there, and spells should, generally, be italicized. Also, one of the things that is definitely rushed past is the actual canon scene -- there's a lot of dialogue and action missing, including a radical shift or two in the personality of Severus, and he is not the one who lit Hagrid's hut. Too, we lost Buckbeak's attack somewhere, and that might have had a bit of importance to him. Oh, and there were a few shifts of POV tucked away when Severus is explaining himself to Harry. You have Harry introspectively understanding, which can only be done from his own point of view, in the middle of a lot of Severus-sees things. It's subtle and sneaky, but there.

But enough of that. I like your version of accounts, and have this awkward feeling I may end up liking them better than Jo's. There very probably is a good deal of information exchanged when one Legilimens looks into the eyes of another; that was a good solid moment. Your action scenes are vigourous and the character sketches swift and tidy -- plaudits!

Reviewer: Thecaretaker
Date: 04/05/06 4:02
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Wow!!!! That was great! It is certainly not the way you expect it to end. Nice one.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it!

Reviewer: tpt42
Date: 04/04/06 13:33
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

That was pretty good. Although I wish you had broken this in several chapters and made it more detailed. Like the previous person said, the end seemed kinda rushed, but overall, the story was pretty good. Especially Snape's character. Your portrayal of his personality was perfect in my opinion. Good job.

Author's Response: Thanks for the positive comments on Snape's personality. I find myself able to relate to him a lot (which scares me sometimes!) and so he is my favourite to write. I know there are rushed spots, which is why I had added the A/N about some of the simplistic explanations. I would love to take this farther, because I really enjoyed writing it, and a lot of it won't make it into Lethal Affection either. Hmmm...perhaps I will have to consider another full-length fiction here.

Reviewer: ermine the one
Date: 04/04/06 7:09
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

I must say, this was amazing. You got Snape in character quite nicely, especially at the end while he was talking to Voldemort. Although I must be picky and say that Voldemort himself was a bit out of character at the end when he screamed "Severus!" when he came in. I would imagine that he have snapped that.

Apart from that, a very good fic, and an entertaining read.

~Ermine the One

Author's Response: I agree with you, so Voldemort is no longer shouting, but snapping. *Sigh* By the end of 6,500 words, I just wanted it to end! :-) Thank you for your kind words.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
A Story for Charlie by Darkness Enshrouds 3rd-5th Years
A boy. A girl. A budding romance. If only things never got complicated... (Violence...
Scorpius Malfoy and the Salem Witch Trials by Hotrav 3rd-5th Years
The third story in the Scorpius Malfoy and the Sins of the Fathers series. Lucius...
No One Can Ever Know by Nagini Riddle 3rd-5th Years
"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?"~Dumbledore to...
FEATURED
My Troubled Tyrant by Belledeg Professors
Keedie Dante has experienced many amazing things during her time at Hogwarts...
His and Hers by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
In a perfect world, Neville and Hannah's wedding would go off without a hitch...
All This Waiting For The Sky To Fall by Dawnie 1st-2nd Years
They found her body - broken, bleeding, face filled with signs of pain and fear...
Sanguini, the Vampire by teh tarik 6th-7th Years
Vampirism is the persistence and the perpetuity of the body, a madness of the...
Lost and Found by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
When Tracey Davis's financial security was a casualty of war, her family is...
CATEGORIES