Reviews For Ultimate Betrayal
Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 06/06/08 21:27
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Danm, you ended on a clifie. I know Snape thinks Harry will succeed, but what if he doesn't?

Reviewer: Vorona
Date: 06/03/07 18:03
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

I have to enjoy the irony that you posted this a mere day after I posted my first story here, that deals exactly with the notion of the deathly potion.

It was a delight to read another story with that idea and also to see a version of Snape's mindset during this event.

Reviewer: Thespidermanblanket
Date: 09/07/06 21:54
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

on word: Amazing
-the spidermanblanket

Reviewer: Vindictus Viridian
Date: 04/27/06 22:11
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Toasted Turnip Review

For the record I already wrote this review once, and the computer ate it. If it sounds a little breathless, that's why!


First off, very nicely done -- it's always good to see Severus redeem himself in fine style. I hope you come back to this and make yourself happy with the bits you feel rushed past. I'm curious to see how that would go.

Mandatory nitpicking: You have a 'Kedarva' in there, and spells should, generally, be italicized. Also, one of the things that is definitely rushed past is the actual canon scene -- there's a lot of dialogue and action missing, including a radical shift or two in the personality of Severus, and he is not the one who lit Hagrid's hut. Too, we lost Buckbeak's attack somewhere, and that might have had a bit of importance to him. Oh, and there were a few shifts of POV tucked away when Severus is explaining himself to Harry. You have Harry introspectively understanding, which can only be done from his own point of view, in the middle of a lot of Severus-sees things. It's subtle and sneaky, but there.

But enough of that. I like your version of accounts, and have this awkward feeling I may end up liking them better than Jo's. There very probably is a good deal of information exchanged when one Legilimens looks into the eyes of another; that was a good solid moment. Your action scenes are vigourous and the character sketches swift and tidy -- plaudits!

Reviewer: Thecaretaker
Date: 04/05/06 4:02
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

Wow!!!! That was great! It is certainly not the way you expect it to end. Nice one.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it!

Reviewer: tpt42
Date: 04/04/06 13:33
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

That was pretty good. Although I wish you had broken this in several chapters and made it more detailed. Like the previous person said, the end seemed kinda rushed, but overall, the story was pretty good. Especially Snape's character. Your portrayal of his personality was perfect in my opinion. Good job.

Author's Response: Thanks for the positive comments on Snape's personality. I find myself able to relate to him a lot (which scares me sometimes!) and so he is my favourite to write. I know there are rushed spots, which is why I had added the A/N about some of the simplistic explanations. I would love to take this farther, because I really enjoyed writing it, and a lot of it won't make it into Lethal Affection either. Hmmm...perhaps I will have to consider another full-length fiction here.

Reviewer: ermine the one
Date: 04/04/06 7:09
Chapter: Ultimate Betrayal

I must say, this was amazing. You got Snape in character quite nicely, especially at the end while he was talking to Voldemort. Although I must be picky and say that Voldemort himself was a bit out of character at the end when he screamed "Severus!" when he came in. I would imagine that he have snapped that.

Apart from that, a very good fic, and an entertaining read.

~Ermine the One

Author's Response: I agree with you, so Voldemort is no longer shouting, but snapping. *Sigh* By the end of 6,500 words, I just wanted it to end! :-) Thank you for your kind words.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Research and Development by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
The Mirrorphone, the latest advance in Wizarding communications. Now, of course...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES