Reviews For Forgotten
Reviewer: Choggstar
Date: 06/14/06 7:36
Chapter: Chapter One

This poem is interesting...and treads a path often tread, by war poets. As a poem, it's quite hit and miss. Your line lengths change and some lines knock the whole thing out of rhythm and some of the imagery doesn't seem to quite fit 'My mind fades like a photograph' Well photographs don't fade, they're constant, unchanging shouldn't it be more like 'My mind fades like ripples on a lake, breaking on the bank' or something more relating to actually fading.
Your poem also tries to be both retrospective and looking at the wider picture but also looking at the personal side of things as well. This means the two jar a little and don't really fit together, it would be interesting if you focused on one side of things.
The rhyming works quite well in buiding in rhythm, but the poem is sometimes held back by it, rhyme can make poets add imagery into a poem that doesn't really fit with the poems theme at all.
Good use of repetition.
Keep writing!

Reviewer: HermioneTonks
Date: 06/03/06 22:14
Chapter: Chapter One

I read this and thought "Wow! This is wicked!" I really like it! Great job dude! {see my bio for the dude thing....} This is totally on my favorites!

Reviewer: HermioneTonks
Date: 06/03/06 22:14
Chapter: Chapter One

I read this and thought "Wow! This is wicked!" I really like it! Great job dude! {see my bio for the dude thing....} This is totally on my favorites!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: silver_tears
Date: 04/09/06 7:31
Chapter: Chapter One

Congratulations acerbus_lunaris, for writing such a terrific poem. I love the way you expressed Hermiones feelings. You really made me realise that we should be more grateful at small, everyday things. Another reason why I liked the poem is because it had this somber feeling from top to bottom. I have never read any poems on MNFF, so yours was the first one and Im certainly not disappointed for reading it. And Im honored to be the first reviewer of this poem. Keep it up and good luck for the future! :) 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm honored that you like my writing!

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