Reviews For Forgotten
Reviewer: Choggstar
Date: 06/14/06 7:36
Chapter: Chapter One

This poem is interesting...and treads a path often tread, by war poets. As a poem, it's quite hit and miss. Your line lengths change and some lines knock the whole thing out of rhythm and some of the imagery doesn't seem to quite fit 'My mind fades like a photograph' Well photographs don't fade, they're constant, unchanging shouldn't it be more like 'My mind fades like ripples on a lake, breaking on the bank' or something more relating to actually fading.
Your poem also tries to be both retrospective and looking at the wider picture but also looking at the personal side of things as well. This means the two jar a little and don't really fit together, it would be interesting if you focused on one side of things.
The rhyming works quite well in buiding in rhythm, but the poem is sometimes held back by it, rhyme can make poets add imagery into a poem that doesn't really fit with the poems theme at all.
Good use of repetition.
Keep writing!

Reviewer: HermioneTonks
Date: 06/03/06 22:14
Chapter: Chapter One

I read this and thought "Wow! This is wicked!" I really like it! Great job dude! {see my bio for the dude thing....} This is totally on my favorites!

Reviewer: HermioneTonks
Date: 06/03/06 22:14
Chapter: Chapter One

I read this and thought "Wow! This is wicked!" I really like it! Great job dude! {see my bio for the dude thing....} This is totally on my favorites!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: silver_tears
Date: 04/09/06 7:31
Chapter: Chapter One

Congratulations acerbus_lunaris, for writing such a terrific poem. I love the way you expressed Hermioneís feelings. You really made me realise that we should be more grateful at small, everyday things. Another reason why I liked the poem is because it had this somber feeling from top to bottom. I have never read any poems on MNFF, so yours was the first one and Iím certainly not disappointed for reading it. And Iím honored to be the first reviewer of this poem. Keep it up and good luck for the future! :) 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm honored that you like my writing!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES