Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Captivus

Name: dongdong8 (Signed) · Date: 07/18/17 23:37 · For: #70017
salvatore ferragamo shoes
nike air max 2017
prada shoes
nfl jerseys
michael kors plånbok
mac cosmetics
prada handbags
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
adidas outlet
polo ralph lauren
nike tiempo legend
rolex datejust
mcm outlet
michael kors outlet
adidas yeezy 350 v2
polo ralph lauren
red bottom shoes
coach factory outlet
columbia sportswear outlet
vans shoes
nike cortez
adidas soccer shoes
coach outlet
moncler jacke
nike outlet
coach outlet online
adidas superstar
coach outlet
adidas trainers
tory burch outlet
longchamp handbags
pandora charms
adidas stan smith sneakers
fitflops
ferragamo shoes
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors handbags
reebok shoes
prada outlet
mont blanc pens
michael kors bags
adidas stan smith
ray ban zonnebril
chelsea jersey
michael kors
nike running shoes
adidas neo
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses
adidas yeezy
mizuno running shoes
cheap nfl jerseys
burberry sale
burberry outlet
manchester united jersey
ralph lauren uk
salvatore ferragamo
louboutin paris
new balance
longchamp sac
air jordan shoes
michael kors outlet
michael kors taschen
jordans
gafas ray ban
mbt shoes
oakley vault
yeezy boost 350
nike outlet
yves saint laurent handbags
true religion sale
adidas yeezy boost 350
yeezy adidas
adidas zx flux
nike mercurial victory
polo ralph lauren
cheap jordans
christian louboutin sale
nike roshe
oakley sunglasses wholesale
columbia outlet
ed hardy
lebron 14 shoes
ray ban sunglasses cheap
pandora outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
oakley sunglasses outlet
ray ban sunglasses
kate spade sale
coach wallets
polo ralph lauren outlet
ray ban wayfarer
ralph lauren
adidas trainers uk
adidas yeezy boost
vans store
nfl jerseys cheap
oakley sunglasses
the north face
vans shoes
ralph lauren outlet
coach factory outlet online
kobe shoes
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
jordan shoes
true religion outlet
adidas nmd
ralph lauren outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
nike air max uk
tory burch flats
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
polo ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordans
kobe 12 shoes
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin
michael kors canada
coach outlet
coach handbags
adidas outlet
pandora uk
michael kors handbags
ray ban sunglasses outlet
pandora jewelry
nike air max
asics shoes
adidas football boots
michael kors taschen sale
cheap jordans
nike air max 2016
converse outlet
mlb jerseys
michael kors handbags
clarks shoes
birkenstock outlet
tory burch
coach canada
michael kors outlet
nike huarache
cheap oakley sunglasses
polo ralph lauren
nike huarache
michael kors väska
adidas originals
yeezy boost 350 v2
true religion jeans
new balance outlet
ralph lauren shirts
clarks outlet
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
birkenstock sandals
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ray ban solglasögon
adidas yeezy boost 350 v2
coach factory outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
coach handbags
yeezy boost 350
christian louboutin uk
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin shoes
converse outlet
oakley sunglasses
valentino boots
ray ban sunglasses
kate spade
nike air max 2017
columbia shoes
north face
cheap jordans
fitflops sale clearance
tory burch handbags
nike air max uk
coach outlet store online
ray ban sunglasses uk
ralph lauren polo shirts
nba jerseys
rolex watch
ray ban sunglasses outlet
adidas yeezy 350 boost
le coq sportif chaussures
pandora bracelet
coach factory outlet
tory burch outlet
polo ralph lauren
red bottom shoes
ray ban canada
cheap oakley sunglasses
cheap nfl jerseys
christian louboutin shoes
hermes bags
michael kors
chaussures christian louboutin
burberry handbags
the north face
snapbacks hats wholesale
ray ban sunglasses outlet
coach outlet
cheap jordan shoes
adidas nmd
kate spade outlet
nike blazer shoes
coach factory outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
true religion jeans
fitflops sale clearance
mont blanc pens
adidas nmd r1
michael kors handbags outlet
oakley vault
coach factory outlet
michael kors taschen
oakley sunglasses
mlb jerseys cheap
oakley sunglasses outlet
coach factory
adidas outlet
under armour outlet
polo ralph lauren
oakley sunglasses wholesale
fitflops outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
jordan retro
converse shoes
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
mbt shoes
coach outlet
coach factory outlet
coach factory outlet
nike outlet
under armour
nike air max
ralph lauren sale
coach factory outlet
ray ban eyeglasses
ysl handbags
michael jordan shoes
ralph lauren pas cher
coach purses
manolo blahnik shoes
ferragamo belt
cheap jerseys
michael kors
prada handbags
new balance sneakers
oakley vault
cheap pandora jewelry
ed hardy clothing
birkenstock sandals
yeezy boost 350 v2
gucci shoes
salomon shoes
coach factory outlet online
coach factory online
christian louboutin shoes
nike outlet
adidas originals superstar
ralph lauren polo
polo ralph lauren
adidas yeezy
hermes outlet
michael kors taschen
coach factory outlet
coach outlet online
air jordan shoes
calvin klein
pandora jewelry
ray ban uk
fred perry polo
michael kors outlet
polo outlet
true religion
mcm bags
canada goose sale
birkenstock outlet
kd 10
fitflop sale
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors handbags outlet
nike outlet
longchamp outlet
air max
coach outlet
longchamp outlet
michael kors taschen
louboutin shoes
christian louboutin shoes
vans shoes
hermes birkin bag
nike roshe
nike running trainers
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses
mlb jerseys
coach outlet online
michael kors bags
michael kors handbags
ray-ban sunglasses
true religion
fitflop sandals
ugg boots
adidas shoes
adidas nmd
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren outlet
columbia sportswear outlet
lebron james shoes
michael kors tote handbags
polo ralph lauren
true religion
nhl jerseys
christian louboutin outlet online
prada bags
jordan retro 11
occhiali ray ban
cheap oakley sunglasses
montre rolex pas cher
adidas yeezy boost 350
coach outlet store online
prada outlet
cat boots
fitflops
lebron 13
michael kors outlet
adidas shoes
ralph lauren polo shirts
clarks shoes
kate spade outlet
reebok shoes
rolex submariner
the north face outlet
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
vibram fivefingers
christian louboutin pumps
le coq sportif
mont blanc pens
adidas nmd xr1
nike free run
fitflop shoes
cheap nfl jerseys
air jordan
longchamp handbags
mlb jerseys wholesale
nike roshe run
supra shoes
kate spade handbags
adidas originals
rolex datejust
hermes belt outlet
michael kors handbags
tory burch outlet
valentino sandals
nike roshe run
coach factory outlet
polo ralph lauren uk
cheap nhl jerseys
coach outlet
yeezy boost 350 kaufen
levi's jeans
burberry outlet
christian louboutin outlet
replica watches
ralph lauren outlet
adidas ultra boost
christian louboutin sale
michael kors uk
polo ralph lauren
kate spade handbags
pandora jewelry
christian louboutin
nike sb
kobe bryant shoes
hermes handbags
fitflops uk
polo ralph lauren
north face outlet
michael kors canada
ugg boots
louis vuitton
cheap jordan shoes
oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren polo
air jordan 14
ecco shoes
supra shoes
true religion uk
coach outlet
salvatore ferragamo outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
burberry outlet online
polo ralph lauren
yeezy boost 350
nike air max
christian louboutin sale
nike air force 1
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
michael kors outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
nike trainers
true religion
pandora rings
ray ban sunglasses outlet
20177.19wengdongdong


Name: lzm00 (Signed) · Date: 07/10/17 8:00 · For: #70017
pandora uk
ray ban clubmaster sunglasses
homepage keywords
Baseball Jerseys Outelt
Nike Air Jordan
Nike KD 8
oakley holbrook.
michael kors
Basketball Jerseys Outlet
hermes bag
Nike Air Max 2017
Nike Air Max 1
burberry outlet
Football Jerseys Outlet
michael kors outlet online
hermes belt
BURBERRYburberry australia
rayban prescription glasses
coach outlet
Salomon Speedcross Shoes
michael kors outlet
Prada Sunglasses - Official
coach australia
Zales Jewelry
official michael kors
Cartier Watches
pandora jewelry
burberry outlet
hermes outlet
Diamond Rings - Official
Nike Free Run
burberry scarf
abercrombie canada
prada sale
ray ban sunglasses
Jimmy Choo Shoes
prada purses
ray ban sunglasses
Wave Prophecy 2 Shoes
Nike Air Jordan Homme
wayfarer sunglasses
nflshop com
Nike Blazer Femmes
Ray Ban sunglasses
Chanel Outlet
Prada Sunglasses - Official
Oakley Sunglasses
louboutin shoes
ua shoes
puma sneakers outlet
Hockey Jerseys Outlet
Air Jordan 11 Femme
prada sunglasses
Celine Outlet Sale
yeezy boots 350
pandora uk
Longchamp outlet
michael kors outlet bags
ray ban wayfarer sunglasses
pandora rings
puma sneakers sale
michael kors outlet
Michael Kors Outlet
burberry australia
Nike Air Max 90 Mes
Wedding Rings- Official
balenciaga outlet
Air Max 90 Femme
Brighton Jewelry - Official
snow boots
fake sunglasses
coach outlet online
Jared Jewelry - Official
Brighton Jewelry - Official
Dreamland Jewelry - Official
Nike Air Max 90
pandora necklaces
louis vuitton australia
michael kors outlet
timberland outlet
michael kors
timberland shoes
yeezy shoes
michael kors
puma outlet online
puma sneakers
ray ban sunglasses outlet
Nike Air Max 2017
ray ban outlet
Jared Jewelry - Official
piumini moncler replica
ray ban justin
poly sunglasses
Abercrombie Fitch
Coach outlet online
Air Max 180
Nike Air Max 90
michael kors outlet
pandora charms sale
coach usa online
louis vuitton purse
yeezy boost 350 shoes
ray ban sunglasses
prada outlet online
Coach Handbags
evbid
Nike Free 3.0
prada outlet online
nike jordan shoes
rayban prescription sunglasses
Nike Air Max Chase
shop mlb
coach outlet online
coach handbags sale
Nike Air Max
Nike Free
Baseball Jerseys Outlet
kate spade italy
ugg uk
official kate spade website
pandora rings
oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
pandora jewelry uk
sunglasses
burberry scarf
burberry outlet
pandora sale
prada handbags
burberry australia
coach factory outlet
kate spade handbags
ray ban outlet
louis vuitton bags
pandora charms
puma oulet sale
salomon sneakers
coach outlet store
ray ban frames
michael kors outlet
puma outlet
discount oakley sunglasses
pandora.com
Air Max 180
Air Max 90
coach outlet online
nike shox
coach outlet online
moncler outlet
ralph lauren polo
coach carter
Nike Schuhe Damen
chanel bag
puma shoes
Nike Air Force
Nike Air Max
ralph lauren sale
sunglasses sm
ray ban wayfarer
Nike Schuhe Herren
Air Jordan Retro 3
sunglasses store
ugg boots
Premier Jewelry. - Official
Longchamp tote
kate spade outlet
swatch watch
sunglasses
yeezy shoes
michael kors
michael kors
Oakley Sunglasses
Air Max 180
ray ban sale
Kate Spade - Online Sale
puma suede outlet
pandora rings uk
pandora charms
pandora uk
michael kors watches
Burberry Shirt - Official
ray ban online
sunglasses
Nike Boots
Nike Air Max 90 pas cher france
Nike Free
Premier Jewelry - Official
prada online
Burberry Australia
hot dor
tiffany co
ray ban polarized sunglasses
Nike Free Run
Jordan Flight 45 Femme
handbags online sale
louis vuitton
prada wallet men
rayban sunglasses
ray ban uk
softball jerseys
michael kors outlet online
Nike Free
nbastore
yeezy boost 350
michael kors outlet
ugg uk
michael kors outlet online
Nike Air Jordan
pandora jewelry sale
coach australia
kate spade outlet
celine outlet online
Jewelry Armoire - Official
louis vuitton outlet
payless shoes
Nike Air Max 2017
puma suede
Kay Jewelers - Official
Wine
official chrome hearts
chrome store
burberry outlet online
seiko watches
coach watches
omega watches
ray ban outlet
mens sunglasses
mk outlet online
official michael kors
Nike Zoom
chrome store
prada online
Jewelry Armoire - Official
Nike Air Max Femme
top sunglasses
Air Max 95
gel kayano
kate spade wallet outlet
louis vuitton outlet online
citizen watches
Prada Bags
coach tennis shoes
pandoracharms
yeezy boost 350 shoes
Nike Air Jordan Enfants
michael kors outlet
puma outlet
kate spade outlet
burberry outlet canada
kate spade handbags
tiffany co
north face sale
Nike Free Run
puma outlet
nike store
pandora uk
prada outlet online
Nike Air Max Enfant
puma outlet
Sunglasses outlet sale
Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Sale
Nike Air Max 2017
louis vuitton outlet online
Engagement Rings - Official
Prada bags
Wave Prophecy 2 Shoes
oakley frogskins sunglasses
Watches
Nike Shox R3
ray-Ban sunglasses
nike air max 95
prada outlet woodbury
michael kors outlet online
nike running
hermes bag
kate spade
canada goose sale
pandora rings
Dreamland Jewelry - Official
Air Max 1 Homme
louis vuitton us
coach outlet online
puma sneakers online
Promise Rings - Official
Nike Air Jordan enfants
moncler us
spades uk
louis vuitton outlet online
coach outlet online
Nike Air Max Enfant
michael kors uk online
ray ban erika
coachs outlet
kate spade outlet
pandora sale
pandora uk
Prada Outlet
snow boots uk
burberry purse
pandora jewelry
prada outlet sale
Nike Air Max
ray ban outlet
rolex watch
ray ban sunglasses sale
Football Jerseys Outlet
michael kors us
michael kors watches
michael kors outlet online
louis vuitton outlet
diesel watches
michael kors outlet online
mcm outlet online
Hugo Boss Store
nike shox
Nike Free
michael kors
official coach outlet site
Nike Air Max Couple
ugg boots
chrome store canada
ray-ban sunglasses
Coach Sunglasses Outlet
Prada Shoes - Official
burberry outlet sale
pandora rings
Adamson
canada goose sale online
kate spade purses
casio watches
pandora uk
michael kors purses
Nike Air Max 2017
pandora rings
Pandora Bracelet - Official
louis vuitton outlet online
shoes sale
payless shoes online
ray-ban aviator
yeezy boost 350 white
pandora deutschland
pandora uk
polo outlet online
nike huarache shoes
coach outlet online sale
sunglasses outlet
prada outlet
coach outlet online
Nike Hyperdunk Shoes
moncler sale
Hermes Outlet
Nike Jordans
prada us
coach outlet
michael kors australia official
tracking ups
Basketball Jerseys Outlet
hermes outlet
Air Jordan Enfant
timberland boots
gucci watches
moncler outlet
the beat
breitling watches
michael kors
Oakley Sunglasses
michael kors
michele watch
ray ban sunglasses
Nike Air Max
myhermes parcel shop
Nike Air Jordan Enfants
balenciaga us
nike free shoes
80's Fashion
prada outlet bags
ray-ban eyeglasses
Rolex Watch
Nike Dunk SB Low
coach outlet
kate spade outlet
chrome store
nike shoes
pandora bracelets charms
kate spade outlet store
ray-ban glasses
puma sneakers
moncler jacket
prada outlet online
Nike Air Max
Prada Shoes - Official
sunglasses hut
coach outlet us
hermes belt
burberry outlet online
pandora charms sale clearance
Wholesale Outlet Sale
lzm7.10


Name: lunaandneville (Signed) · Date: 10/16/09 15:53 · For: #70017
Write another one!!!!!!


Name: Binka Fudge (Signed) · Date: 04/02/08 16:41 · For: #70017
I'd love to read more, but I also think this is a fantastic one off piece.


Name: googlebrain (Signed) · Date: 01/31/07 11:57 · For: #70017
this is so sad. good job though

Author's Response: gratzi!


Name: googlebrain (Signed) · Date: 01/31/07 11:51 · For: #70017
this is so sad. good job though


Name: PotterFan22 (Anonymous) · Date: 08/27/06 0:03 · For: #70017
Bloody brilliant story!!! Everything was perfect! I REALLY loved this one! I really, really love stories about Malfoy, but I'm especially in love with this one! I really hope you write more! I don't have any ideas (sorry, i'm not being very helpful...) but if i think of something good, i'll email you or something! :D Great story, and i'll give you an 11/10!!!!!!

Author's Response: thanks.


Name: LalyW (Signed) · Date: 07/11/06 15:25 · For: #70017
Wether you decide to continue it or not, it was still a very good and emotional storry.

Author's Response: Gracias.


Name: mooncalf (Signed) · Date: 06/20/06 17:40 · For: #70017
Argh. It is scary how much our stories have in common and this is the first time I've read yours! Even down to the numbers - in Serpent, Malfoy is M752.

Anyway, back to your fic. I really enjoyed this and would be interested in reading more if you decide to continue it. The first paragraph drew me in straight away. The repetition of 'lost everything' and the calculated days emphasise how long he has been in there and how much he regrets it.

The short sentences at the beginning of the flashback to a great job of conveying his shock, as he is incapable of anything else. Your description in the next paragraph is wondeful, and creates a very strong image of the wreckage of Malfoy Manor. The only tiny change I can suggest is changing the adjective 'busted'. It's very informal and a bit American, it doesn't really fit in with the sombre mood you have built up. I love the use of different time spans to once again emphasise how long he feels he has been in prison.

Your introduction to Snape was good, and showed Draco's perception of his character.

I think you did a wonderful job capturing Draco's anguish at his loss in this chapter. But why was Narcissa killed while Lucius escaped apparantly unscathed? And if Lucius did kill her, as Draco seems to think, why did he? He is depicted in your story as being indifferent to his family, but I think you maight need to be a bit more in-depth on his character.

Tiny nitpicks: it should be 'a smoke-covered foot', with a hyphen, and you forgot to capitlaise or anti-italic (does that make sense?) 'him' in the line '..caused him to decide to punish me even further than what my own heart was causing me.' 'Meager', a few paragraphs below, is actually spelt 'meagre' in the UK. These are only tiny mistakes though.

Snape is a little out of character. He's just that bit too compassionate and caring. He is rarely seen in canon to display emotion, but you have him show pity clearly and even his words by Narcissa's grave are a bit too much for his character.

Draco's burial of his mother is very touching, and I love the line 'I could feel my throat close up from the effort of restraining tears', as I know the feeling.

The interview with Voldemort and Lucius was good, but why was Voldemort relaxed? It seemed a bit out of place for me at the time. Also, I would add in a bit more description rather than simply 'Then I blacked out.', as it is an important event in the story.

The next part is very well written. I love the lines 'I do not live, for I am not alive. I do not die, for I am not dead. I simply am.. The repetition of his number is great too, it drives home how inhumanly he is being treated. Draco's excitement over the change of food evokes a lot of pity for him.

Ron is a bit too friendly with Draco. I understand that he's desperate for company, but Ron holds grudges and I can 't see him letting them go that easily. Oh, and 'barfs' is another Americanism; 'vomits' might be better. Still, his urgent need for comapny after months of loneliness comes through strongly at his repeated efforts to engage Draco in conversation.

The next part is a little confusing, and I think you should continue this fic if only to explain it. How did they get into the prison? Are they actually Death Eatersand if so, why, or are they disguised? In that case, how did they get in undetected, and as Voldemort has apparebtly won why aren't Harry and co. dead?

I found Draco's admission of love for Hermione a bit out of character (I know, and myself a Dramione shipper and all!). The 'I have always loved you'ploy for getting them together is cliched and unworthy of your writing skills. Other than that, I wouldn't have him call Ginny the 'Weaselette'; it seems to flippant for his depressed state of mind.

The ending was very good. For him, it is completion as he now knows his name. Overall, I thought this was a great fic, well written and with a potentially good plot. I look forward to potential future instalments with hopeful pleasure.

Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome review. I will consider some of your suggestions, and work on my Americanism and Dramoineness. *sighs inwardly* thanks anyway.


Name: Hermionie_forever (Signed) · Date: 06/13/06 22:05 · For: #70017
K deal and I hope u come up with some new ideas soon

Author's Response: all righty then. i'm thinking...


Name: Hermionie_forever (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 20:32 · For: #70017
write another chapter
Please...

Author's Response: Sorry, but I am totally out of ideas. I'm working hard on thinking of some though. If you really want to help me out, then send me an email telling me what YOU want to happen in the story. Who knows? I might use your ideas.


Name: Hermionie_forever (Signed) · Date: 05/06/06 1:09 · For: #70017
I think you hould write another charter cause i wana know what happens


Author's Response: Well...if you promise to review it again...I will write another chapter. Deal?


Name: crazyfish (Signed) · Date: 04/05/06 23:09 · For: #70017
okay, sorry! but zeeloozi, that was waay out of line. if you're going to diss me, then do it by pm or email. alright- i just went and reread the story. now, i like your sentences that go, i do not live, i do not die, etc. howerever, that weevil paragraph is kind of out of place...........but i've already said that

Author's Response: That weevil bread paragraph isn't going nowhere! stop reviewing my story. You email whats her face. okay? If ur gonna clog up my review box, at least give me tens!


Name: Zeeloozi (Signed) · Date: 04/05/06 21:18 · For: #70017
Hmmn...this one is a lot better than a Path Reforged. Much easier to understand, and very original. I don't think anybody has written a story on this site that is Dark/Angsty, and is about Malfoy in a prison. I, unlike crazyfish, understood why he couldn't remember his own name even before you said it. I guess good stories like this are too complex for those who just write a copy of other people's works. Yes, you need to broaden the character of Fred, Ron, and Snape. Ron...it is simply a matter of just, um...making him more Ronish. I know, I know, its been seven years. but let us know in words that the characters have changed. And, make Snape more than a hollow shell that stands in the background with no lines. Please. I cannot decide between a nine or a ten, but I know that you will enrich the characters if I give you a ten. Get the next chapter up as soon as possible.

Author's Response: This is a real morale booster for crazyfish. Thanx. Yes, the mods told me to enrich the characters too. My beta is currently helping me out on that prob. And, I really appreciate that rare ten.


Name: crazyfish (Signed) · Date: 04/05/06 20:43 · For: #70017
good story capricorn. i like the little inserts of his random thoughts (or not so random). some of the characterization was off, and i thought it strange that he remembered all this stuff but not his name, which ron called him like, 5 times. other than that, turn it into a series!

Author's Response: well, if you actually READ the story, instead of just basing it off the copy I sent YOU, you'd realize that his father gives him a memory charm that prevents him from remembering his own name.


You must login (register) to review.