Just when I thought I was bored, had read all the cliches there was to be read I crossed this and frankly, I was taken aback!
It was like a breath of fresh air after reading the same type of stores over and over. Pure genius! I liked how this was from the traitor's point of view. Sure I have read many Death Eater fanfics but none from the point of view of Peter which is one of the elements of this story which make it so special. After all, he must have had courage of some kind if he was sorted into Gryffindor. The hat must have seen something in him.
There are many different types of courage and being weak is oe. I know that is a paradox but when you stop to think about it, it actually makes sense. I mean it would defintely have not been easy to bear what others thought of him. That in itself is one kind of courage. Your work brings out all this in a very different way.
I feel really sorry for Peter in a way. Your story invokes this in a reader, a quality which other authors (like myself) strive to possess. He would have felt more terrified than usual after the return of the Dark Lord and as dory_the_fishie stated this gives a perfect setting to your story. Makes it all the more chilling.
And of course the resurrection part was pretty good too.
The other good thing about your story were the minor details like how he likes hot water because it reminds him of the warmth of courage, something he thinks he will never have.
Details like these are often what make a story so interesting. Overall, good job. I too wish I had bet on this.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I guess its pretty good you would have bet on this, considering you had an entry as well... I am happy you liked my story. Hope to compet against you in furthur challanges! Avenger P.S.-I liked your entry as well.
I really enjoyed this! It's so nice to see a fic portraying this side of Peter, exploring what his motives were and what was going through his mind. I think it's something a lot of people don't delve into because it can be challenging, but you've done a good job here.
I liked the whole idea of courage. I did not know that this feeling was called courage. I really thought that was a good line. Peter almost doesn't recognize courage. At least, that's how I saw it. The 'warmth of courage' idea throughout this fic was wonderful. Many authors write Peter off as weak and stupid, but here you showed his courageous side. Really great.
I think the setting you've chosen is perfect, right when Voldemort is coming back. It's the moment when Peter, I think, would be remembering all these things. The flashbacks work very nicely with the rest of the fic. I especially liked the one with Sirius and Peter. However, I felt like Peter thought of an escape plan awfully quickly. It just seemed like one moment he didn't know what to do and then all the sudden he had an ingenious plan. I would've stretched that a bit longer, maybe included some more Sirius and Peter dialogue, but that could just be me. It was my favorite flashback nonetheless.
The scene where Peter performs the 'flesh, blood, and bone'...er, spell thingy, was really good. All the descriptions are wonderful. I felt like I was there (which gave me a right little shiver down my spine). Though I would have liked to see more of when Voldemort was actually resurrected, some time before he says, "Robe me." I know you have Peter not knowing what's going on around him, but in the book I felt the scene was kind of suspenseful. You know, we were all wondering what was going to happen, Harry wishes the thing in the cauldron will drown. It might have been nice to see if Peter was wondering if it would work. Perhaps maybe a little part of him even wishes, like Harry, that the thing will drown?
Overall, a deserving winner. Congrats! I can see why it won. Should've betted on it, darn it. =) And I think you win the award for most long paragraphs in a one-shot. I just noticed you had a lot of long paragraphs, especially at the end. =) Excellent work!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, im happy you liked it. The whole point was, although Peter did not necesaraly have courage, he new what it felt like, and he knew that there were other ways to feel impowered. ABout the not enough description in the flashback and after VOldy comes back, I guess I see what you mean. The thing is, I know people are often discouraged from reading longer fics, and it was getting kind of long. I am happy that you think I diserved to win! Avenger!
This is wonderful. I love the description and the thoughts running through Peter's mind. Many make him a villian or a complete coward, you make him 3D. I'm very impressed. There are a few missing comma's and periods, but it doesn't effect the story. I like how Peter thinks about how vital he is to the future of the wizarding world, I never noticed that. I also like how you keep coming back to courage. It makes people think about what courage really is. Great job!
Wow, I really enjoyed this fic. I've never seen anything done that was circled around the basis of Peter Peittigrew, so it was a new experiance for me.
I did find dome teensy mistakes that I thought I would show you, though.
I knew too well; it had been burned into my mind by my master’s thoughts as clearly as his Dark Mark was burned into my forearm Chiselled into the marble were the words Tom Riddle.
There should be a period inbetween forearm and chiselled. And ...
Tell me were he is, or I am walking out right now.”
It should be "where". Just a small slip-up.
But, other than that, I thought this was great! I loved your ending line about "maybe the heartless really cannot have homes". It made me shiver. And the way you replayed the scene between Pettigrew and Sirius was really good. Oh! And I liked how you described the part where Cedric dies - it was really real.
Good job with this! I hope this review suffices.
Author's Response: I am happy that you enjoyed my fic. Thanks for reveiwing. My goal was to send shivers up people spines, so iam happy I did that. I will fix those mistakes when I have time... today or tomorow. Thanks alot!
Great job! I liked all of your comparasons. The begining was a bit confusing, but other than that it was very well written. You get the point later on, though. 10/10. You did a fabulous job of writing this from Peter's veiw. HermyRox12
Author's Response: Sory it took me so long to respong. I am happy you enjoyed reading myfic. If you would liek to elaborate a bit on the beginign being confusing, I would be more then happy to help you figure it out, or change what I wrought. I want it to be good for the judges!