Reviews For Secrets
Reviewer: XhayleeXblackX
Date: 07/19/08 16:37
Chapter: Secrets

Jenna, this was just . . . beautiful brilliance.

The words that you have the angel, (for lack of a better word) tell Ron are so very true and almost Dumbledore like. I really liked this part:

“I hoped my friends would live, and they didn’t. And instead of dying with them, like I should have, I’m stuck here without them.”

Forsaken.

His voice is bitter, but she knows it’s only because he’s hurting. She rests her hand on his shoulder and leans closer and speaks the words he’s already expecting.

“Would you rather have never known them than to have loved them and lost them?”


It was so very sweet and true and jsut sad. I think you have done a beautiful job with Ron and his character. I really love him and you show him perfectly.

Greatness, as usual.

-Haylee

Reviewer: ringobeatlesfan4
Date: 05/22/08 19:54
Chapter: Secrets

Oooo! Ooooo! I think I guessed it1 Is the mystery girl... Miss Luna Lovegood??? I guessed that because of your description of her eyes. Anywho, great job! {BeccA}

Reviewer: ringobeatlesfan4
Date: 05/10/08 13:50
Chapter: Secrets

Who was the girl, exactly, and I have a question: I heard that you're VP of SPEW, I believe, and I was just wondering what SPEW is. If you could tell me, I would greatly appreciate it. By the way, 100000/10 on the story. {Becca/Becaa/Riley}

Author's Response: Hmmm. Well, I don't think I shall tell you who she is ;) She's a reasonably major canon character, and, as her physical features and personality traits are pretty unique compared to others, there should be enough references in the fic to figure it out.rnrnAnd, yes, I'm VP of SPEW. SPEW stands for the Society for the Promotion of Evaluations for Writers. We're mainly a review group on the forums, we leave fairly detailed feedback for stories that go into writing more than just "I liked it!", in order to help writers' recognise what they're good at, as well how to improve. We also have other writing/reviewing-oriented activities, such as writing challenges, story exchanges and discussions. There's more information in our subforum on the MNFF boards.rnrnAnd, thanks for the Review :)

Reviewer: Madame Marauder
Date: 03/18/07 8:42
Chapter: Secrets

Though eloquently written, when I first read this, I thought the guardian angel was Luna Lovegood as she’s described as being blonde with “ethereal eyes”. And her character’s wisdom, too, made her seem very much like Luna. Ron’s reaction, I thought, confirmed this belief. “he prepares himself for another theory worthy of a tabloid magazine,” you say, which makes me think of the Quibbler. Upon reading the reviews to this story, I was glad to know I was not alone in this connection. But then, I thought some more. Perhaps this angel is not Luna. Perhaps it is just that—an angel. Although she sounds very similar to Luna, you also say that “This angel is made of light, she is luminous, but she walks and moves like a woman.” That makes me wonder if she is only taking the form of Luna to comfort Ron with familiarity. If so, you’ve done brilliantly at creating a non-human OC. If it is just Luna, you’ve captured her well. 

I also see that Ron has matured differently. He’s embittered by war, which is to be expected. But I thought that Ron Weasley, the happy, fun boy we see in the series could survive it without becoming depressed. It was interesting to see a different side of Ron—the often forgotten serious side. I think that he is in-character, although you wouldn’t naturally expect him to give up on life. Ron is a fighter (not in a bad way). He will stand up for those he loves and he can deal with hardship. The loss of loved ones will make him sad, but I honestly think he’d move on after a time of mourning. Your ending gives me hope that Ron will carry on.

Thank you for a wonderful read!

-Cassie


Author's Response: Yes, it is Luna. ;) If it weren't, I wouldn't have made so many clear allusions to her character. Thanks for the review, dear.

Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 01/08/07 4:42
Chapter: Secrets

Holy Hegla, Jenna. O.O

Okay, I’ll be a little bug-eyed for the next few minutes while I write this, but I’ll return to normalcy soon, I promise.

I think the thing I like most about this story is the lack of any real background description. It’s really quite personal without any exterior influences which engages the reader and it… makes me feel old and wiser inside. I say this because Luna has, I guess, let me in on her secrets and showed me that there are different ways to look at things. She’s such an absurd creature, really. She’s ethereal… so different from the logical Ron, it almost makes me laugh with the silliness of the situation.

But of course, I don’t laugh, because it’s a somber moment. I love the fluid dialogue of Luna; it’s almost as if I can hear her in my head. It’s so comforting and her words… while they’re simple, convey such a wonderful amount of correct virtue and belief in them. She truly does believe what she’s saying, and while she’s usually scorned for her eccentricities, here, she’s worshipped one on one when Ron’s in his lowest point.

“A freckle for every act of love,” she tells him, tracing her fingers slightly over his face, her head tilted, her lips moving and counting under her breath. “For sacrifice. For loyalty. For standing by your friends. One for every spider in the forest that night…” I think with this line that you have won over every single sun-kissed user ever to step foot on MNFF. I love it. I love the depth and innocent tranquility that Luna possesses. She seems to personify inanimate and wallflower objects with just a touch of her and and bring them to life. I think the focus of the story is on the loss, but also the love, and you’ve found something brilliant and modest here to channel that through.

I just adore this piece, Jenna. It’s really sweet and eye-opening and it was a pleasure to read. I have to say, I've read this about three times and haven't faltered in my view of it. It was one of the few fics that I read originally and was too afraid to review, for fear of totally massacring it, but I really like the way lines jumped out at my and influenced me to review.

Reviewer: KalHoNaaHo
Date: 10/22/06 11:02
Chapter: Secrets

...




Jenna, this fic...this fic has left me completely breathless.





*pauses to steady self*





It just glows with the essence of Luna. The way you’ve written her, her character is still so very Luna-esque but no longer as kooky. She’s matured, for lack of a better word, and it’s good to see that those years change everyone.





I love the juxtaposition of this ethereal Luna with the night and the way you seamlessly fit Ron and Luna together. The fact that Ron doesn’t want to remember the war and Luna is forcing him too, it just solidifies their relationship at that moment.





Every word here is perfection. This is just so simple but intricate that…I really, really don’t have the slightest idea as to what to say except that Secrets is one of the most gentle, touching stories I have ever read.





Scratch that. It’s the most. And I heart you eternally for writing it.





-Kal




P.S. Sorry for the utter lack of coherence. ;]

Reviewer: Rita Writer
Date: 08/26/06 12:13
Chapter: Secrets

Firstly, I have to say that once I finished this, I sort of blinked in awe. The entire writing style of this is incredible, not to mention all the symbolism. The present tense this is in is wonderful, and it couldn’t have been done better.

Bit of a funny story to this... I hadn’t actually read this until someone in a SPEW chat told me I ought to, and I never knew that it was Ron/Luna. To be honest, knowing you, I thought our main character was Lucius until I realized he didn’t have freckles. I still didn’t realize it was Ron/Luna until someone explained it to me after I finished. Interestingly enough, it was just as good not knowing who the characters were than it is when I do.

“We’re not what we seem; none of us. We don’t tell people what we feel, and we want them to see things that they can’t. Sometimes we can’t even see ourselves properly. And we search for someone who will understand us completely, and know our secrets without being told. That’s what love is.”

This is a quote you expect to see in some grand romance novel; you really don’t think to see it on a fanfiction site, but when you do, it’s even more spectacular.

I love how Luna was done. Now that Ron has lost all of his friends, her “craziness” doesn’t seem so off, even though it’s almost the same as it was before. Her eyes are wide, and she sees everything; truth where there is none, possibilities that others have overlooked. And I especially loved her thing about freckles.

Dang, I usually go and read other reviews people have left to make sure I’m not repeating anything already said, and Patrick’s review is so huge! *eyes bulge* Anyway, the only nitpick I actually caught was the same one Lian pointed out about the comma before the last word. And she’s right, it’s arguable.

There are a lot of quotes in here that are gems. Most of them come from Luna (such as the ones mentioned above), but a couple are simply from the narration.

Oh! I almost forgot — excellent beginning! “They say” makes you realize that the story is going to center around more than the main characters and give you some grand theme that most people are too scared to touch on (if that makes sense).

I’ve put this on my favorites list, by the way, which is always impressive for one-shots, considering that I’m not looking for updates.

Reviewer: Bella Weasley
Date: 08/19/06 14:00
Chapter: Secrets

That was awesome! I loved the stuff about freckles that you wrote...

Reviewer: Paisa
Date: 07/23/06 2:31
Chapter: Secrets

Gosh, that was so Amazing. I've got nothing more to say, it's just well... so lovely.

*awestruck*

Reviewer: Scarlet
Date: 07/21/06 18:40
Chapter: Secrets

Your story is so full of beautiful imagery. The words the angel uses are so graceful and meaningful. You have remarkable talent, and after reading this, I'm going to check out all of your other fanfictions. I'm quite jealous. :)

Reviewer: lovingu4ever
Date: 07/09/06 19:38
Chapter: Secrets

very cool and very beautiful

Reviewer: Ginny Guerra
Date: 07/09/06 14:37
Chapter: Secrets

Sad as can be, but beautiful!

Reviewer: memineforever2326
Date: 07/08/06 20:05
Chapter: Secrets

wow. What can I say. htank was truley amazing.

Reviewer: HesMyChemicalRomance
Date: 07/07/06 13:35
Chapter: Secrets

Wow. That's all I can say.

Reviewer: Leviosa
Date: 07/06/06 21:27
Chapter: Secrets

This is a spectacular story. Prose is my favorite way of writing poetry!

Reviewer: libby627onVTM
Date: 07/05/06 12:43
Chapter: Secrets

im reviewing through tears. that was so nice, i loved it!

Reviewer: GreyLady
Date: 07/04/06 8:30
Chapter: Secrets

Hmmm...it's--nice.
Hard to pin down, maybe. I've never seen the appeal of R/L, so I don't have many feelings regarding this, but I did LOVE the "a freckle for every act of love" part. You portray Luna beautifully, even if a little different than canon has so far, but it works. I'd recommend that you read "Stargirl," because the main character has some incredible similarities to Luna as you write her. It IS considered a Young Adult novel, but then again, we're all here because we love Harry Potter, a supposed children's book. aren't we? Congrats on being featured.

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 07/03/06 19:17
Chapter: Secrets

Wow. Just wow. Even though I hate this pairing (assuming that it's Ron and Luna) this story did such a good job of conveying real feelings and real hope.

My favorite passage is "They sit there ... she whispers secrets in his ear". I especially like how they are "soldiers" and how she talked about soldiers returning. In that paragraph you're missing an "s" on "and he feel_" though.

Anyway, great, great story. Definately deserves to be featured.

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 07/03/06 15:32
Chapter: Secrets

I have to say that this story really touched me. I can reach out and grab the pain that Ron is feeling. I can see the ghostly Luna sitting beside him and trying to give him the peace that he needs to keep living. There were lots of great lines, so I'm not going to quote them, but my favorite must be the one about the freckles being the loyalty, love, ect. Ron leaning into the love from Luna was great at the end also.

Reviewer: hearyoume
Date: 07/02/06 23:45
Chapter: Secrets

Okay, this review is definitely not going to be as long as the others, which are practically one-shots themselves!
I just noticed this on the featured stories list tonight, after seeing that mine is no longer there! (: This is one of those fics that sort of just leaves me speechless, but I felt I must leave a review and tell you that I love how this fic is simple yet deep, with very strong elements of emotion and wisdom. It's unique, which is refreshing. Nice job. I can see why it's featured!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Put Asunder by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
As a Slytherin Sorted two years after the Battle, Astoria has never been popular...
A Story for Charlie by Darkness Enshrouds 3rd-5th Years
A boy. A girl. A budding romance. If only things never got complicated... (Violence...
Scorpius Malfoy and the Salem Witch Trials by Hotrav 3rd-5th Years
The third story in the Scorpius Malfoy and the Sins of the Fathers series. Lucius...
FEATURED
My Troubled Tyrant by Belledeg Professors
Keedie Dante has experienced many amazing things during her time at Hogwarts...
His and Hers by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
In a perfect world, Neville and Hannah's wedding would go off without a hitch...
All This Waiting For The Sky To Fall by Dawnie 1st-2nd Years
They found her body - broken, bleeding, face filled with signs of pain and fear...
Sanguini, the Vampire by teh tarik 6th-7th Years
Vampirism is the persistence and the perpetuity of the body, a madness of the...
Lost and Found by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
When Tracey Davis's financial security was a casualty of war, her family is...
CATEGORIES