I really need to stop reading and do something else but this is so interesting and you keep leaving the end in a cliffie. Strange that Lucius advised Draco to go to Harry. I'm anxious to see how Draco gets out of Voldemort's clutches. Great chapter.
This is getting more and more interesting. So Draco and Hermione have a past to discuss? And he's been looking for her for ten years? Can't wait to read more. Great chapter.
loved it :)
Oh for Pete's sake--that was a big cliffie. So Hermione lives in Wyoming too? Is she Abby's mother? I can't wait to see what is going on. Great chapter.
What a strange child, but mesmerizing. She seems to have some mysterious powers--like she can read his mind and communicate with her dog. Can't wait to see what she does next. Great chapter.
I'm sure Wyoming is a far cry from Draco's home in Britain. I can imagine him being bitter and wanting to be alone. I wonder who the girl and the dog are. It's as if they were actually talking to each other. Great chapter.
Hey- I think I saw that coming! :) I was going to ask if Abby was really a witch!
Hey, I think I really like Abby... The dialog btw her and Draco made me smile! I love how she's totally not intimidated by him. M'thinks her cheer's gonna start rubbing off on him soon!
Here's some lines I liked and some nitpicking stuff.... If you don't go for that kind of thing, stop reading here :)
I would change around the wording in this paragraph to something like this:
He had sat there, trying to regain control over his emotions; deciding that maybe a glass of Firewhiskey might help. However, he hadn’t stopped with just one glass. -because the word ‘had’ seemed to be tehre a lot in that paragraph.
"as if a thunderclap of hammers was hard at work" – loved this metaphore, although it should probably be ‘were hard at work’ being that ‘hammers’ is plural
wished for more sleep, probably even death :) I bet!
"“You’re awfully grumpy. You should be nice." - priceless! :)
Awesomely written! Just found your story on the 'featured' list and decided to check it out.
Some of the lines I loved:
"Winter’s breath caressed his face with icy bitterness as he stood on the balcony" awesome personification :)
" just as picture perfect as a Christmas postcard" - Poor guy, he can't seem to get away from the holiday season, no matter how hard he tries, hey?
"Damn, when had he gone from being feared to being pitied?" - Loved this line - so Draco!
Okay, I'm on to the next chappie, hoping for more fun! :)
Amazing story :) Totally loved it.
Aaaaah!! Creative! Really I enjoyed the story, I really did!
Really a good one!
This IS THE BEST fic I have ever read EVER!!! I soooooooo wasn't suspecting Lavender!!! I love all the kids! All of them! And just ...everything about this fic is WOW just WOW!!!
Ok so I feel horrible for not reviewing until now, I can't possibly tell you what I think of this fic in one sitting. That's how much I love it. ;) I really love your original characters, mostly Abby and Aria, and also your takes on JKR's characters.
Now don't think I'm being rude because I do love this fic but this is just some fellow fic-writer critisism. Have you ever thought about getting your fic's edited and/or Beta'd? Because I have noticed a couple mistakes, mostly typos, spelling and grammar errors. And also name mixups like when you said 'he took Hermione and Aria's cloaks' you meant Hermione and Abby's. But that's okay because you make up for it with beautiful character personalities and a wonderful story plot!! :)
As for who this Spooky/Justice person is I have a guess though I'm sure I'm wrong. Is it Ron? I know you said he's dead but there is a part of me screaming that it would be logical if it were him. He could have been in love with Hermione and found out about her and Draco, then pretended to die and is now back as this Justice character. But I'm almost sure that I'm wrong. Also I'm a bit confused about the time periods about when they were together opposed to when Ron died so I don't know if it is around the right time for my theory to be correct.
Anyway I love this fic, when I started it I didn't think it was going to be great but I kept reading just to see, what really drew me in was Abby. I remember saying "OMG I know who this girl is! She's probably Hermione's daughter!" and my sister looked at me really weird for shreiking at my iPod screen where I've Bern reading this. LOL when I found out I was right about Abby I HAD to read more! Thnx for writing this! It's definetly one of the most intriuging fics I've ever read! :D
greatt story!!! i luv it. lots of action and i liked how you used minor characters as main characters like Lavender Brown. good job!!
Author's Response: Thank you
wow, this is by far the best i have read!! it's amazing and your skills as an author could go far. Well done, i loved it so much. :D
Author's Response: Thank you very much
Author's Response: thanks
good cant wait to read the next chapter
Author's Response: thank you
this is, by far, the best fanfic i have read. ive fallen asleep reading every night haha. it was rather addicting. kudos.
Author's Response: Thank you very much.
hermione the seductress. interesting. but great lol.
Author's Response: I thought so.
I just wanted to tell you that I love what you have written! I came across it and I am so glad I read it. You had a perfect balance of romance and action. You had me guessing pretty much the whole time. I suspected Pansy at first then Veronica but had NO idea it was Lavender! So great job!!
Author's Response: Tnank you.