OMGosh!!!! I hardly ever read an 'uncompleted' story, but I am SO GLAD I did ... you've got an amazing story going here and the cliffhangers are terrible and amazing at the same time.
I have literally stayed up ALL NIGHT reading this as it is too good to stop! PLEASE PLEASE update soon! This will most definately make my 'short list' of great stories and authors to watch for!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. It means a lot to me to hear that.
Author's Response: Trying, trying!
wow!!!!!! good job
Author's Response: Thanks!
omg!!!!! please.. please.. please do hurry!! i love it!!! everything!! please update soon!!ü ..thank you!!
Author's Response: Thanks and soon.
omg who is it..hello waiting imapatiently here....i love this story...
Author's Response: Soon!
This is interesting. Keep it up.
Author's Response: Thank you.
omg!!! more mystery!! but this is great!!! very nicely written with action, suspense n all! 10/10
Author's Response: Thank you.
Oh my GOSH!! why, why why? another cliffe! update soon!! PLEASE update soon!! loved it!
Oh my GOSH!! why, why why? another cliffe! update soon!! PLEASE update soon!!
Author's Response: As soon as I can.
I've had this story to my favorites for eons because of its intrigue factor, but never got around to reading it...but here I am. =)
I'm going to address a condensed version of what I loved about this chapter (a fairly insurmountable amount, if I told you everything!)
Nowhere, Wyoming, USA--pure genius to have such an unassuming yet striking town name to set your story in, and also a perfect irony.
All the fanon details you provide (e.g. helping the Order in his seventh year, the girl who believed in him who is obviously Hermione) are helpful to make your story more understandable w/o putting all the details in a fine and overwhelming mess, so good job with that.
Even more so, I loved what you wrote about Draco's feelings on children, which I think are spot on--to me, Draco is comfortable with people his own age, people he views as "equals" or people he doesn't for the better to taunt with. The part where you describe him as a "spoiled cruel jackass" was amusing, but I'm not sure if 'jackass' is an Americanism, but I think it is. However, if it is an Americanism, Draco does live in the US now, so I'm sure he's bound to have picked up some of the American derogatory terms vis a vis himself! Your scenery descriptions are also something to be proud of w/o going over-the-top.
The last sentence is brilliant, but simple, and those two qualities are perfect together. Sometimes simple is the best for conjuring a scene in one's head.
Okay, and now parts I found fault with.
Thoughts of the past only made him feel worse; worse than how the damn Holidays made him feel.
'Holidays' should be lowercase.
That thought made him laugh, a dry hollow laugh with no mirth.
This is probably just a personal irk, but "with no mirth" sounds melodramatic to me. Why not write That thought made him laugh mirthlessly, which is simpler and while still using the word 'mirth' and also drops unnecessary words like 'dry and 'hollow' (not that I don't like those description words---it's just that all three of them in one sentence is just too much for me).
Author's Response: First thanks for the praise and second, I love very desriptive words and it's my downfall. Oh well, glad you liked the story.
Author's Response: thanks!
keep it coming!!!!
SI SE PUEDE!!!
Author's Response: As fast as I can. lol
That was cruel! Not impaling Justice (she kinda needed it), but the cliff hanger. Upate right now! (sorry, I share some of Abyy's stubbornesss)
Author's Response: LOL! Next chapter has already been submitted for validation. Glad you like the story.
oooo cliffie! can't wait to see what happens next! ur going a great job with this story!
Author's Response: Thank you!
NO. BAD. BAD BAD BAD CLIFFHANGER
but good good good chapter.
who is it?!?!
Author's Response: Can't tell you that, sorry. Only two more chapters after this.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED MORE I LLOOVVEE!!! THIS STORY!!!! I KNOW I SOUND A LITTLE CRAZY BUT I DO REALLY LOVE IT!!!! IM MAD.I NEED TO FINISH THE STORY I KNOW IT TAKES U A LON TIME CUZ U PROLLY HAVE OTHER STUFF GOING ON.PLEASE FINISH THE NEXT CHAPTER AS SOON AS U CAN.!! ;)
Author's Response: The next chapter is done, in fact the entire story is complete and waiting for validation. I know it's hard but ...never mind. It's just to hard to be patient.
Wow. I was a little confused at the beginning, but I understood eventually. but wow that ending really makes me want to know who it is. I hope you can update soon.
Author's Response: Soon, I promise.
That has to be one of the meanest cliff hangers ever, lol. Great story, please update soon....
Author's Response: Sorry. I knew I would get that after everyone read this chapter.
AH! *huffs indignantly* How could you leave us hanging like that!? You go and get me all excited, and then - nothing. Please, please hurry and update. I can't wait!
Author's Response: Sorry. I did mention awhile ago that I like cliffhangers. To bad this wasn't just a book, huh, then no cliffies. Ah, well.