Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 05/12/08 19:30
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Thank you so much for this. I adore Luna and I've always wanted Myrtly to find a friend. Fantastic! who needs the yule ball?

Reviewer: honeydukes0209
Date: 04/20/08 17:50
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

oooh very good!

Reviewer: honeydukes0209
Date: 04/20/08 17:50
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

oooh very good!

Reviewer: TrixieBells
Date: 03/07/08 12:11
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

AWWWWW!
This is well cute!
I love Luna :)

Reviewer: hogwartsduchess
Date: 03/25/07 22:05
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

You know, Lian, every time we are SPEW buddies (all both of them!), I resolve to read the rest of your fictions. RL always interrupts, but it's sad, because there is one thing your stories have always made me do: feel.

This one was no exception. It's so sweet, and heartbreaking at the same time. Your mood is beautiful, though you do repeat 'silk' in the first paragraph. The entire thing is not necessarily a thing of sadness for Luna, but it feels like it should be - like it should depress her, even though it doesn't.

I love your inclusion of Myrtle. Of course, from what we know of her, she would have wanted to go to the Ball - why shouldn't she? Harry's offhand comment, brushed aside in a moment, about taking Myrtle, is brought home here, as you show us what Murtle feels. Too often, we laugh at Myrtle, along with Harry, Ron and Hermione, never remembering what happened to her tragically short life, and why she is so sad.

Which brings me to the part that nearly had me in tears: Luna's kindness to Myrtle. Lonely knows lonely - and those two have that in spades. How perfectly beautiful to have them share that loneliness with each other and, in doing, find a wonderful moment of perfect comradeship. How many of us, in our moments of solitude, no matter how infrequent, have been able to say that? Even more, depressing, how many of us have ever felt that perfect meeting of souls with those we call friend?

It's truly a beautiful, moving story, Lian, and I'm very happy to have read it.

~Kasey

Author's Response: *snuggles Kasey tighter than tight*

The thing about Luna is that, like many severely lonely children, she isn't upset by things that should upsetting her –– that she's so lonely that she doesn't even expect to be included. But when she does find ways to interact with people, they're so meaningful to her.

Reviewer: Quetzal
Date: 03/19/07 14:46
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

very good.Mrtle is usually grumpy and I enjoyed reading about her being nice for a change.

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read and review.

Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 01/10/07 23:44
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Yay Christmas! I’m always trying to make mine last a little longer >.> I like the title to this, it’s so sweet!

Dancing, unbeknownst to the students who waltzed far less gracefully beneath the dark and cloudy ceiling of the Great Hall. Aww, this is such a Luna observation, how she sees the snow dancing of it’s own accord rather than the normal “falling” that we usually see. I like the way you make Luna’s mind work.

“It tickles as it falls through me.” You know, this is the first time I’ve ever heard Myrtle refer to herself as being a ghost without being as angsty and… wet. It’s really like she’s that twelve year old girl again at Christmas, dancing in the snow.

Tinkles of delighted laughter pealed through the silent night. Two figures, one solid and one translucent, whirled and turned through the spiraling dance of the falling snow. it’s so sweet, because they’re just so… innocent. I always like the description “peal” because it reminds me of the inexplicably happy laughter that just… erupts out of no where and refuses to be quenched. In short Lian, a really cute, season fiction. Many hearts to this.

Author's Response: Many hearts to you as well, Steph, for leaving me a review! I'm glad you enjoyed my little bit of holiday cheer. <3

Reviewer: DogLover4Life
Date: 12/17/06 0:16
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

This was so sweet! I recently discover my love for Luna, I want to be just like her *eyes gloss over* Anyway, this was such a pretty piece of writing. I hope I can describe this.

"After a moment to absorb the stillness of the room, Luna turned back towards the window. It seemed that with the night had come the snow. It was falling lightly, flecks whirling and spiraling as they fell towards the ground. Dancing, unbeknownst to the students who waltzed far less gracefully beneath the dark and cloudy ceiling of the Great Hall."

You could just feel the magic through the words. I also loved how you made Myrtle laugh. Even a miserable moping ghost deserves to have some fun and a friend.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the idea of Luna and Myrtle becoming friends. Snow still seems magical to me because I grew up without it, so I wanted to capture how beautiful it seems to me. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 09/03/06 20:22
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Myrtle and Luna - they seem so different, but I think they could have been really good friends. The just sort of could match - always depressed and always happy.. :D This is a very sweet story! Fluffy, but with a sort of depth of feelings and great descriptions.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed my idea of their friendship!

Reviewer: TheVanishingAct
Date: 07/14/06 22:49
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

I've been reviewing you quite a bit lately, eh? Eventually, I'll get around to reviewing everything that you've posted. Hehehe. Yeah. [/babble] Secret SPEW created so many brilliant stories! This happens to be one of them. It's short and sweet, and is one of the most interesting friendship fics I have ever seen. However, it's very plausible, as Luna would probably be one of the only students at Hogwarts to be able to persuade Moaning Myrtle [which we hardly ever see in fanon] to go outside with her to dance in the snow. It's very fluffy, and even though fluff isn't my thing -- good fluff is appreciated by all sorts. And this is good fluff.


Your imagery seems to be based in swirls and colors, which is very fitting, since that's what the Yule Ball is in abundance of. "The common room was a whirl of color--dress robes of every shade swished and swirled upon the bodies of excited young girls and reflected in the mirror." That is the perfect example of both -- there is swirling, there is colors, and the excitement is thrilling. Fabulous descriptions follow, and I'll just post my other favourite imagery line: "It was falling lightly, flecks whirling and spiraling as they fell towards the ground. Dancing, unbeknownst to the students who waltzed far less gracefully beneath the dark and cloudy ceiling of the Great Hall." I love this line, showing that the snowflakes are more graceful than the students. It's really a comical line.


Since the SPEW Handheld Guide to Reading and Later Reviewing MNFF Authors tells me that it is an absolute must give nitpicks. But it's so hard, you know? It just seems like there was nothing in it that I could find. But, after being very evil in my nitpicks, I found some minor detail. "“But I don't like the snow. It always got all over my glasses and made it impossible for me to see." “But it won't do that now. And look, the snow is dancing.”" I think Myrtle might have taken that as an offense, something like "Why? Because I'm dead? WAH!" or something more in character. ;) But that was the only thing I could find with a fine-toothed comb.


Myrtle and Luna -- two odd friends, yet not so odd. It was just brilliant. Since no one would ask them, they took each other to the ball outside. It was brilliant, really. The last line especially caught my attention, and I think it was the best -- simply summarized the event, the moment in time that we, as the readers didn't see in Goblet of Fire. Wonderful, Lian! I enjoyed it very much! :)



Author's Response: Patrick! How sweet of you to drop in and review something fluffy! *hugs* I tried to make my imagery convey the feel of dancing in this piece, so it's all based around color and movement -- as if one was watching the ball through a window, seeing the colorful robes swirling in patterns. I'm really glad you picked up on that; I doubt most people notice it consciously. I'm glad you enjoyed the odd friendship I depicted!

Reviewer: Gobbles
Date: 07/05/06 8:30
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

That's good; it would if Myrtle and Luna were friends. But what are tickling smitelbees?


Author's Response: Tickling Smitelbees are magical creatures which I made up. Whether they actually exist in the magical world or are figments of Luna's imagination is up to you. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Octopus
Date: 07/01/06 9:37
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

That is brilliant, some one should make friends with poor old Myrtle, stop her crying in the toilets all day long. And Luna is just the right person to do it.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it :-)

Reviewer: jlovegood
Date: 06/29/06 10:35
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

I love Luna, And I always thought that someone should give Myrtle a nice time every once in a while. Just because she's annoying doesn't mean that characters have to be mean to her. I really like this fic. Perfect.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I've always felt a bit sorry for poor Myrtle, and this was my way of bringing her some holiday cheer.

Reviewer: Rita Writer
Date: 06/08/06 23:08
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Aaaw, that was sweet! And kudos for originality! I really love how you’ve done Luna; you took what the J.K. Rowling left the reader to assume about her and brought it to life.


Then she remembered: Myrtle. This was Myrtle's bathroom. I love this, because it A) suggests Luna had been here before, and B) points out that Luna never thought of her as “Moaning Myrtle”.


Suggestion: “All right? All right?!? What do you think?” shrieked Myrtle. Do you really need all the punctuation (?!?) in there? Maybe italics or just one question mark would be fine.


I love how you described the snow; it made me feel like a little kid or something (though the fact that an ice cream truck just went by my window may have contributed to that). Honestly though, it was just a really sweet, delightful little story, and it made my day! The way you did Luna and Myrtle was adorable. Yes, it is a bit short... but any longer would sort of ruin the mood of it, I think. It's meant to be a small bit of cheer in my opinion, not some huge fluffy one-shot that takes up 20 pages in word. Wonderfully done!




Author's Response: Ritz! I'm glad you like my Luna. She's loads of fun to write, because she's just so quirky.

I know there's a lot of punctuation in that one place, but it's there to convey the escalating shriek of Myrtle's voice. I suppose I could put that into words though.... I'll have to think about it. Thanks for pointing it out.

And yes, I had lots of fun with the snow. I thought up this story during the last weeks before finals last fall, and the cheery idea of the two of them dancing helped me to keep my spirits up through the weeks of storms and exams. Mandy asked for fluff, so I tried to find a child-like joy to concentrate on... and I'm rambling. /response

Reviewer: grangergurl
Date: 06/08/06 15:47
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Aaaaawwwww, what a cute story! I really wish it was a bit longer, but it is still very good!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

Reviewer: Masked One
Date: 06/04/06 19:06
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Luna! Myrtle! How… strange. And fluffy. Definitely fluffy. Very definitely fluffy. A bit like overly-light snow that makes bad snowmen - and I think you know about that, don’t you? Well, it might make bad snowmen, but it made a very amusing story. I really liked the part about it being bad manners to refuse to touch a ghost - that was very Luna-ish.


I could have done with one less reference to Luna’s imaginary animals. It seemed like you were using that as a crutch to keep your Luna going, when she was really quite Luna without them. Who else would matter-of-factly tell Myrtle that her glasses wouldn’t get snowy “now”?


Another perfect little detail was the tickly-snow, and the references to other members of Ravenclaw house were well done. All in all, I think a little more emotional value and background wouldn’t be out of place, but as a cotton-candy fic it’s very nice.

Author's Response: I agree that all the creature references were a little heavy-handed. If I write Luna again sometime (*carefully doesn't look at Bridget*), I think I'll go a bit lighter on them. And yes, this is fluffy. Unusually fluffy for me. *throws overly-light snow up into the air*

Reviewer: deanine
Date: 06/04/06 18:22
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

Luna is a kind character, and one of the more morally upright of the Hogwarts kids. She does the right thing, she has faith, and peer pressure never phases her. It makes her refreshing and fundamentally confident, magnetic.




Your Luna sits back and watches her housemates without spite or jealousy. And when she heads out for her own private dance she takes a moment to share it with one of the single most miserable characters in the series. Now you can write Luna... I'd like to humbly but pitifully request a Harry/Luna fic. *sniffle* *Puppy eyes*




Constructive comment:




The common room was a whirl of color--dress robes of every color swished and swirled upon the bodies of excited young girls and reflected in the mirror.




Color followed by color here strikes me as repetitive.


Author's Response: Harry/Luna, eh? Doesn't Mask already rock that ship? Maybe. I make no promises, but I'll put it on the mental list of things to play with.

Thanks for the note on 'color' being repeated... I think I'll change the second 'color' to 'shade' or some other synonym.

And finally... Mooooooo!

Reviewer: HermioneTonks
Date: 06/04/06 10:05
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! This is very origanal! COOL! I really like it! i think I might write a poem off of this story {if thats okay with ya..} and then give you creadit for writing this SWEET story! LOL!

Author's Response: A poem would be fine, so long as you credit me. When/if you post it, please send me a link so I can read it. I'm glad this fic inspired you :)

Reviewer: Dean Thomas
Date: 05/21/06 3:02
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

For my first foray into the One-shot world I very much enjoyed this fic. It was story that just felt good. Everything about this was spot on. I loved the bits about Luna and adding her feelings about touching ghosts. I think the pairing between Luna and Myrtle is a great idea anyway. They seem so very compatible in the way JK characterizes them and you do a great job of bringing them together in his shot.


The best part is it's a look at past events through someone else's eyes. I like to hear other's ideas about minor characters during other times. So much is focused on Harry that there is a lot of potential in the other students. It gives the reality that the others live their own lives, too, apart from what we see.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this, especially as it was your first oneshot. I have to say I enjoy the challenge of writing stories set either before or during the HP books and trying to make them fit believably with canon. It's like making a puzzle piece to fit in with a puzzle that already exists... both easier and harder than writing something totally separate/in the future.

Reviewer: Ennalee
Date: 03/31/06 0:47
Chapter: Dancing in the Snow (one-shot)

I didn’t even realize you had published this; I became very excited when I was looking for something to review and I found a Lian-story I hadn’t read. It’s nice to read a light story from you – I’m not really feeling up to something heavy at the moment. ;)

I love what you’ve done with this. You characterize Luna perfectly, and I’ll come back to that later, but I also love the little things you’ve done, the tiny details that the reader passes over. The full length mirrors on the walls of the Ravenclaw common room – I immediately thought of the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles; for some reason it seems like a very Ravenclaw way to decorate – full length mirrors lend dignity to a room, and it probably adds to the reflective environment of the room. (Eek – I really didn’t realize that pun until after it was written.) Or maybe I’m reading too much into mirrors, but you know me. ;) The comparison of the dancing snowflakes to the dancing students was absolutely lovely; Luna looks for imaginary creatures, but she also manages to see the beautiful little things that the people around her miss. I absolutely love the fact that her perspective of the world is completely different from that of the people around her. Not just her belief in the imaginary, but the way she ranks her priorities; the ball is nowhere near as important to her as the snowflakes.

Luna herself was priceless. There are so many things I want to quote, just so I can tell you how much I enjoyed them. The way she didn’t mind not going to the ball, because of the nargles in the decorations. Her observation of Roger Davies had me giggling wildly, to the bewilderment of my roommate: . His trancelike state struck her as odd, especially as there didn't seem to be any floodering willowgumps flying around. Luna supposed it must have something to do with the ball. So like Luna, to look first for floodering willowgumps and, seeing none, nonchalantly chalk it up to something else.

My one little quibble is a very tiny and insignificant one, that probably doesn’t even count. Grabbing her hand (for it was, in Luna's opinion, very bad manners to be unwilling to touch a ghost), Luna pulled the ghost from the bathroom and down to the door. Myrtle hesitated on the threshold. I loved this, but have to question the word ‘pulled.’ Can you pull a ghost? I can totally picture Luna ‘holding’ Myrtle’s insubstantial hand, but I don’t think she could actually pull her. As I said, totally insignificant.

I don’t know what to say about the dancing scene. I loved it that Myrtle was her partner, I loved it that even Myrtle could see the snow dance, I loved it all. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that “we murder to dissect.” I don’t want to pick apart your ending and explain why it was beautiful, because I’d rather just read it. It’s a little glimpse of joy, two girls dancing in the snow, and it stands by itself.



Author's Response: Hmmm... I have to admit that Versailles does come to mind when trying to describe my mental image of the Ravenclaw Common Room. I see the room having lots of mirrors, mostly decorated in blue and white silks and satins, with gold gilt accents. And for the furniture I imagine something along the lines of the Queen Anne style, with intricately carved spindley legs and screens... rather a pretty setting.

I'm glad you like my interpretation of Luna. She's not a character who I really dissect... there's just this "feel" to her, which I can't really describe, though I think you know what you mean. She has a point of view completely different from anyone else's, and that's why she's so endearing. I just tried to pick up on that.

I'm glad you liked the dancing scene. Many of my stories are based around a single image or phrase, and I wrote the entire one shot around the image of the two figures whirling in the snow. It was a happy little image which kept me going through some totally gruesome final papers back in December...

:: huggles Nan ::

:: sends the llama chasing after her ::

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