Aw, that's so sweet. I love the name August for a boy, it's really interesting. Although it made me smile that his sister has such a normal name like "Susan". I hope you keep writing more stories, because I think you could get really good! And I liked this. The children insisting they believed in something that the parents just found strange was adorable. I guess the secrets you hinted at were that he had been showing signs of magic or something?
Anyway. Nice job.
PS: Didn't I tell you I'd get round to it eventually? :D
Author's Response: hey...thanks a lot for taking the time... :-) i once found a character named August in a book i read long ago(his full name was August August!) and since then always wanted to write about someone with that name. maybe i especially liked it bcoz i was born in August. i really wanna write more...but although i find it quite easy to write, i just can't come up with a good plot...n when i started writing more about August, like when he goes to Hogwarts and makes friends, i found it really hard to keep the events un-Potterish! and yeah...u got it right about the secrets! :-D
Aw, I so wished that would happen on my eleventh birthday. Too bad it really is imagination and, even if it were true, I wouldn't go to Hogwarts anyway seeing as I live in the states. Oh well.
Author's Response: thnx for your review. i wonder how many magic schools there are in the USA!
Loved the Story. I wish there was more!
Author's Response: i'm so glad tht u would like to read more of my works!! bt the story i'm working on ryt now has nothing to do with Jo's world. i'll try to write more about August though. i really lyk him!
Oh...I wish that this would happen to me!!! August is sooooo lucky!!! I'm so jealous of him! 10/10
Author's Response: i wish that too! :-D and thanx for the review.
SWEEEET!!! Oh man. This is so COOL! I love this fic! That's something that I wish would happen to me... OMG. This is one of the COOLEST FICS I have EVER READ! Keep up the writing!!! 10000/10!!!
Author's Response: thnx a lot!!! sorry for the delay. bt anyways...better late than never ;-)
I saw this story when looking through recent fics. I liked and therefore I feel the need to remedy the lack of reviews. I think my favorite thing about this story is the characters’ distinct personalities. The story is fairly short and it’s not a character study, but you still manage to give your characters’ thoughts and speech distinct textures. Good job!
I’m a crazy nitpicker, so being me I noticed a few things that could use improvement/make the story even better. In the first paragraph, you don’t really need the parenthetical. The reader doesn’t need to be told that Number Eight Windmill Road is the Worthington residence. By starting with the street and focusing in on the specific house, you’ve already drawn the reader’s attention, and the parenthetical comment distracts the reader from the feeling that she (or he) is zooming in on August’s bedroom. Don’t worry about clarity too much on this one; your reader can figure it out.There was also a place a couple paragraphs down where I thought your word choice could be more specific. There, on the living room table, was a small pile of wrapped up stuff. For one thing, both of those commas are unnecessary. The sentence reads better without them. Also, “wrapped up stuff” as a phrase both breaks the mood and is too vague. “Stuff” is one of those words you should probably think twice about before using in narration. The more specific you are, the easier it is for the reader to visualize the scene and the more real your writing seems. Maybe you could use “wrapped presents” rather than “wrapped up stuff.”
I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you by giving you so much constructive criticism. I hope you understand that I really do like this story and that I’m giving you criticism because it’s worth it. I look forward to reading more of your work! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review AND the constructive criticism. I really needed that. :-)