MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
03/21/06 20:46 · For:
Excellent. Even though I'm a self-proclamied description-hater I just absolutely loved it. You had me on edge the whole time. It was absolutely amazing. The whole ghosts thing in the background really added a thrill to it. I could almost picture the scene with the thunder and the rain and everything.
Of course the whole Dress thing was lovely. I loved the ending, but I won't spoil it for your other readers if they so happen to stumble here before reading. It really made me smile. And the fact that it was a fic about Andromeda also drew me in, she's sort of a mystery that many authors don't recognize. Anyways excellent style and excellent fic, thanks for a really good read and keep writing...=)
(Signed) · Date:
03/19/06 9:56 · For:
Goodness, this is lovely. Apart from the squeeing induced by the fact that this is Andromeda-fic, and Black-fic, the writing was quite simply excellent. Beautifully understated, lovely use of language, and excellent pacing; it feels unhurried, somehow, walking-around, a bit like a deep breath right on the edge of a storm, but there are undercurrents and edges.
Not many nitpicks here; the line how badly in disrepair the house has fallen might be better served by changing it to 'how badly the house has fallen into disrepair', which is a less awkward way to put it. Also, while the use of contractions throughout this piece is a good (and rather daring, considering the number of authors who shy from it), there are a couple of places where they do jar.
The ghost motif is used very well; it brings Andromeda's reminiscing a little closer home. The memories themselves are carefully drawn, and one does have to feel sorry for Andromeda, after all; no matter what one's family is like, the decision to leave them, outright, is rather fraught with worry and dilemmas; it is quite possible to imagine her sneaking back for one last look when everything is gone. And that, of course, is not to mention the way you've shown us Andromeda as slowly edged out by Narcissa, whatever she does. The ending is pure heartbreak.
As a reader, as a general rule, one doesn't often find quality while browsing the Recently Added section; I'm exceedingly pleased to have proved that wrong.