Where's Lily? I think you mentioned her, but not by name. Is she coming?
*sniffle*.....can i please have an update? please?
very intresting!!!! keep writing
i so like it that kim can be so very unpredictable sometimes
FANTASTIC chapter. I love how James, Peter, and Sirius followed with the cloak, Everything they did was just to perfectly characteristic.
I especially like what you did with Peter. He was active, contributed to the conversation, was good at Gobstones and used his brain. So often people write Peter as this sniveling, whiny, brat who can hardly put a sentence together through his drooling... Peter obviously had his faults- but he MUST have had a good side too, otherwise why would Remus, Sirius and James call him friend. Even when darker times came, no one suspected him, they trusted him. You wrote the perfect Peter in my opinion.
The only problem I see is at the end, you have them "retir[ing] to bed at a time that was considered horrendously early by their peers" after they had already feigned going to bed in order to get the cloak.
But otherwise I find the chapter spot-on! I can't wait to see what the lovely creative brain of yours will come up with!
Nat, my love? How is it that a chapter (let alone 2) can be up and I don't hurry over to read? How can I call you friend? How do you put up with me? *HUGS*
Lovely, amazing chapter dear! The excitement of the Quidditch match was wo much fun, and the characterization of the girls was spot on. I can see Marie being the overly excited one and Kim being the awesome person she is, defending her friends to the end.
“You know something, Nat, every now and then you say something that really makes sense,” Lex commented as she stared thoughtfully into the distance.
My only criticism is that James is a Chaser in Canon, not a Seeker. It's only in the movies is his portrayed as a Seeker, but Jo says otherwise.
This is such a fun story, and I eagerly run to the next chapter!
I'm just wondering ... when are the next updates going to come? I love this story, and it's such a great ending to this chapter, so I'm impatient. Although if you're having trouble with the first sentence again ... ;)
I love it!! But is there anymore???
I thought you may have given up on this story; I’m glad to see it is at least alive. This chapter was very good. It showed James, Sirius, and Peter finding out about Remus’ lycanthropy in a different way than we usually see. It made for a very tense situation, with them insisting that he tell them what was up and him being frightened but of course he had to tell them otherwise they wouldn’t leave in time.
The rest of the chapter was only lacking in Kim and her buddies. James’ goofy grin was pretty nifty once I figured out what he was grinning about. Peter’s behavior after he won the Gobstones game was a good characterization, too, I thought. Sirius was just funny (especially when he was trying to figure out what was happening with Remus).
A few nitpicks...in the second paragraph “furore” should be “furor.” In the first paragraph, “A game that Peter was easily winning, he was quite the tactician.” isn’t quite a complete sentence; you might consider tacking it on to the previous sentence or adding a noun or two to make it complete.
Um, yeah. I like this story and I can’t wait to see it progress, so don’t give up all yet! Have a nice day! *D*
I love your story!! Although Nat does seem more like Gryfindor material... You know, brave, loyal to her friends, all that jazz. Plus you're makeing Gryfindor seem like a bad house, because of this Paul kid! And I just so happen to be a bit fond of Gryfindor..... just like about averyone else in the world. >grimmaces< Anyway! Other than that your doing a great job! Keep going!! :-P
Question... Who is in love with who? I really like your story, but it is very confusing. Please explain it more and if you add more that would be wonderful!! Great Job
Great story! You describe people and places in such a way that it's almost better than being there. All the characters you've created are great, they all have their own personalities, it's as if they were canon characters.
Well, great work! :)
Hey, this story is great! You describe people and places so well, it's almost better than being there!
You created many OC's, but somehow, I got attached to them very fast! Great job!
or as i heard my sister say....
Remus and Kimberly, sitting in a car. are they naked, yes they are....
yay! update! finally! it was a good chappie. update quickly plz.
Yay! I'm first reviewer! *does first reviewer dance*
OK, first off, this is SO GOOD!! :-D I love it- which is why it's on my favorites list!
BUT (you knew there HAD to be a "but", didn't you?) there are a few questions/concerns.
1. Does Robin play a part in the story later? I love her name, and think she deserves something else to do besides save Kim, Nat, and Mar from being late...
2. Why is this in the Romance catagory? When will the romance appear?
3. OK, I have no third concern. But a list looks weird with only 2 points, doesn't it?
I do love the characters, you've got a nice plot, what else is there to ask for? *coughRemuscough* Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold... ;-) Keep up the good work!
Your Humble Reviewer,
this is a really good story. i can't wait for the next chapter.
YaaaaaaaaaY! i can't wait until you update!
This is a great start to another great story I can tell! You know, whenever I see a girl in my PE class, I think of "Nat-Pat" and then you b/c her name is Natalie. It's rather interesting. I hope the rest of this is up before too long. *hint hint* :-)
“You don’t think she’s a werewolf, do you?” he whispered. The three boys shared a questioning look before James started shaking his head.- For this part, did you mean to put "she's a wereworf" Or is it supposed to be "He's a werewolf" I just caught that and i was wondering. Pretty good story so far!
Author's Response: It was meant to be 'she's a werewolf' because Peter was referring to Remus' aunty. Thanks for reviewing.