Author's Response: Thanks, I think. ;) Thanks for reviewing, anyway!
Whoa! I finished reading your featured story and then stopped by to check out your other one-shorts... worth it! Once again, it's really the simplicity rather than the overdoing of the descriptions that feels so passionate. I love it! It's clear and just... marvellous.
Author's Response: *beams* Thank you so much! *puts your review on her bulliten board* Marvellous! Someone thinks my writing is marvellous. *beams again*
The feeling on this piece is quite good. You seemed to have dug very well into the mind of Narcissa and sort of made her your own. Not many people can pull that off without making the character OOC.
I did, however, find one thing that I would change. (That's actually pretty good, I usually find more *wink*) These two lines "Probably out in that horrid Muggle village again. It's no use keeping her inside, she'll get out anyway, and all to see that filthy Muggle boy." sound redundant because you use the word "Muggle" twice. The second time, I would simply drop the word 'Muggle' and leave it as 'filthy boy'.
But I still liked it a lot. Your characterization of Narcissa is much different then that of which I have read before. It's always nice to give see different people's perception on a character. This was a fun read!
Author's Response: Eeee, thank you, Shayla! :D I love writing Narcissa, so it's always nice to hear I do it well. When I wrote this, I forgot that Ted Tonks was a Muggle-born, so they wouldn't have called him that anyway... *snorts* Thanks for the review! :)
very good! just one thing is unclear... why does she care THAT much about Harry? good one-shot, though!
Author's Response: If you read the fic more carefully, you'll see that there are only a few mentions of Harry in the whole fic; it's actually Lucius that she cares about. I'm glad you liked it, though, and thanks for reviewing :)
What a wonderful fic. I really enjoyed it. The idea is so great and you've executed it perfectly. Kudos!
I just love the idea that Narcissa has to kill Lucius. It really creates a struggle for Narcissa. She has to decide between her husband and her orders (or, essentially, her life). You've shown her fight within herself very well. The dream in particular was good. It sort of threw into perspective for her what would happen if she didn't kill Lucius. I think it's interesting that she chooses to kill him, thus saving her own life. I suppose it might show a bit of her more selfish side, which I think is part of her character.
"Cissy, there's someone Mum wants you to meet," Bellatrix drawled, looking bored. "Probably some rich thirty year old man with no p--" Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard when I read that! It's so...Bella, I think, to say that. Priceless. I really liked the dialogue between Narcissa and Bellatrix. I think you've portrayed them as real sisters. Narcissa's reaction to Lucius was really nice. She acts very formal and mature, while at the same time, inside, she's feeling a bit giddy and maybe somewhat childish. At least, that's how I saw it. It was good, I think, because Narcissa is still young when she meets Lucius so she's not quite into that fully mature state yet. There's still some girly oh-my-gosh-he's-gorgeous feelings. =)
Really nice job. I love your characterization of Narcissa. Great work!
Author's Response: First of all, I have to say - you are one of the sweetest reviewers :D You pointed out everything I put in on purpose that I loved, and a few things that worked out anyway, even though I didn't mean to put them in. This is actually the first story I've written for a challenge, and I surprised myself with how well it turned out (if you'll pardon the bragging). I never do too well with writing for other people, but I had a lot of fun writing this one :) Thank you very much for your review (I don't get many good reviews like this, so I'm unaccustomed to covering everything pointed out!). :)
A very good job I must say. It held suspense and yet was apparant till the end. Halfway through the story I kept thinking she was supposed to kill Draco and then only somewhere near the 3/4 part did I figure out it was Lucius.
However, I don't get why they were sleeping in a crumbly, old shack., Were they on the run or something?
Your sentence construction along with the grammer and the other technical parts of your story are very good. A good plot and excellent flow makes this fic an absolutely delightful read. I am sure the hufflepuffs must be very proud of you.
Overall, I must say a very good job. I am looking forward to more of your works.
May your sword always be pointy and held high - thorn aka wendelin the wierd
Author's Response: Thank you! :) Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
They were in a shack, yes, because they were on the run. They can't exactly stay in Malfoy Manor anymore, can they? ;)
*bows down to the lord of compliments* That's one of the best things anyone's told me in a review so far! Thank you!
May your sword always stay pointed away from me! *giggles* - TF aka bittersweet_lullaby
Awesome. The way you go back in time, and repeat things adds to the story. It was very well plotted out, and you kept me hanging till the end. Now I feel sorry for Lucius. Your story had a big effect on me. Thank you for that. ;)
Author's Response: Thank you! Your review put a smile on my face when I couldn't conjure one up myself (what I mean is, I was depressed and your review made me smile). So thanks for that. :)