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Reviews For One Good Day

Name: Freaky Chick (Signed) · Date: 03/31/06 20:35 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
Oh my God.I was literally in tears by the end of the last chapter.You a fantastic writer and I would love a sequel.Everything was so believable and I like the usage of the muggle world very unique. PRETTY PLEASE DO A SEQUEL!

Author's Response: Thank you. Truth be told, I was in tears through several parts of that last half of the chapter too. So it's always heartening when people tell you the emotion transferred from mind to print. And yes, there is a sequel in the works. Three to be exact. I'm getting ready to start the fourth (or maybe third. With three betas, I'm not sure if the first chapter in toto is going to make the final cut or not) chapter, and like this one, there will be five chapters (unless that first one gets cut). Anyway, not to give too much away, that sequel will be nearly all H/G super angst, it will be in the "after" that Ron talks about, and there will be very little fluff until the last chapter. That's all I'm saying now, but maybe if more reviews pop up, I may throw out some more teasers. Thank you very much for the kind review.

Name: patronuswitch (Signed) · Date: 03/31/06 14:44 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
Amazing job on this story. The characters were very much in character and the plot was believable, unlike so many fanfictions I have read. You are definately one of the best authors I have read. You have a way with words, too. Each characters speeches were amazing and deep and seemed to be something they would actually say. Keep writing; you have amazing talents and could definately go somewhere with them. I would love a sequel to this, maybe the 'after' that Ron mentioned? I look forward to more stories from you. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I really appreciate it. I did put a great deal of... I don't know, stuff? into those speeches. It was amazing to write, and I've absolutely loved sharing it with you guys, and have loved all the feedback. Of course there's a sequel, more details of which I'll put down in the response to the next review.

Name: hockeysurgazon (Signed) · Date: 03/31/06 14:19 · For: Chapter 1: Just Harry
No doubt are you a good writer, but quite frankly, I can't imagine Harry "cuddling" or Hermione "giggling." The characterization was not true to the actual stories, but perhaps you were simply "re-inventing" the characters. The story is unrealiztic to the characters and their world, but you SO write quite well.

Author's Response: First, thank you for both the review, and the kind compliments regarding my abilities. I also want to say that I respect both your opinion and your honesty. Let's face it, no matter what you choose to do, you're not going to make everyone happy. If you then go on the defensive every time someone says something negative, then you have a small chance of improving yourself. I'll also cede remembering a few times when I specifically and intentionally went out of character. The one that comes to mind is the "Sweetie" exchange. I know that bit was both out of character, and not consistent with even my own story, but when I thought it up, it was just too funny to leave out, at least to me. But for the most part, I wasn't trying to reinvent the characters. Instead, I was trying to reinvent the atmosphere that they were in which I think altered their actions. That is to say that yes, neither Harry nor Hermione are prone to ultimate cuteness, but we have to ask the question why? For Hermione, her attitude stems partly from her ambition and sense of morality. Well the ambition I removed in the context of the story, and her morality has always been flexible. For Harry, we see him inhibited by a sense of nobility that makes him want to protect those around him. That I too removed in the context of the story. The other thing that holds him back is his own social awkwardness, which brings me to my final point. What I think is probably the greatest mistake that I made in letting the actions meet the characters is not in having them act out of character, but instead, not allowing for a gradual enough progression from inhibited characters to uninhibited characters. Anyway, that's all I have time for... Thanks for the review.

Name: witch7667 (Signed) · Date: 03/30/06 21:01 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
I loved this story!!!!!!!! I absolutly loved it!!!! Does Harry win the war though?!?!?! I feel like I have to know!!!!

Author's Response: THANK YOU! Does Harry win the war? Hmmm... I guess you'll have to wait for the sequel. Just keep your eyes out for Epilogues, Part I: Shadow. I hope to be posting chapters for it within the next few weeks.

Name: potterluver7 (Signed) · Date: 03/30/06 15:22 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
I finished your story, and I really LOVE it!! You are a great writer. That is somewhat what I picture happening to the lovers also. Once again, I LOVE it!!!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

Name: hpmaniac666 (Signed) · Date: 03/30/06 13:08 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
A wonderful story! Quite different in style to Right Here, I feel these characters started of just ever so slightly out. But this last chapter was amazing! The charecterization at this point was perfect, and the dialogue, if slightly mushy for my taste, was heart rendering none-the-less. I feel that fics that go past one chapter really need to have a conflict in them to keep the reader engaged. This story by it's very nature was in danger of being all happy-happy. Reading about happy people just doesn't entertain us sadistical humans! But you coped with it well, and especially in this last chapter, the conflict really does come to play! It was a really good chapter, by far the best. Your writing style is consistent and sophisticated, which is reliveing after trawling through so many good but poorly written (in terms of coherence) fics. It's nice to read a fic by someone who has such a firm grasp of the English language, amongst so many young, beginer writers (and I'm including myself in that since I'm only 17.) I look forward to reading any future fics. I also think you could consider writing more stories from the universe of this one; since it's so well established. what can I say, I'm a sucker for sequals. This story was an original idea, and I think you did it justice, though it could possibly have been tighter as a long one-shot. You were almost teasing in the way you kept it censored, I kept on thinking we were going to see some 'action' but you kept it suitable! You have a lot of promise as a writer! I know I seem to have pointed out a lot of 'you could have's in this review, but that's only because I think your future work could be brilliant! so please don't be offended. And feel free to tell me if you think I'm talkinf crap, i have a tendency to pretend I know stuff..... XXXXXX Keep writing!

Author's Response: Man! I wrote a super long response to this, and my account timed me out. So you're getting the super abbreviated response, and I'll come back to it later. You weren't talking crap, thank you so much for the best review I've had on this site bar none, and I'm cutting this short so I can work on the sequel to this! I will provide a more suitable response to this soon.

Author's Response: Okay, now that I finally have a bit of free time, I can go back and give this review the response it deserves. First and foremost, I truly appreciate all the kind things that you've said. And, you got me. While this is only my second fanfiction piece, I'm not new to writing. On top of being a literature major before dropping out of college, I have spent much of my life writing both fiction and non-fiction. I wrote my first book in the third grade, and I haven't quit since. In recent times, I've left the realm of fiction and have spent the last year writing for a political website, though I've been on hiatus for a few months as life developments have made it difficult for me to engage in the level of research required to provide solid political commentary. Moving on. As I said in my previous response, what you say is not all crap, and indeed you have hit on several points that have been cause for reflection during the writing of this. When you speak of the excessive happiness of the first four chapters, and how the story could be tighter as a long one shot, I'm not disinclined to agree with you. In fact, and I think I've mentioned this before, an author's note that I was going to put in the beginning of chapter five was that for the most part, you could have skipped the first four chapters had I started the final one with a sentence similar to, "Harry had a really good day with his friends in the muggle world". But there are a few reasons why I kept the first four chapters. The first is that I had set out to make this story pure fluff. It wasn't until half way through the second chapter that I realized that the story would have to take that much more serious turn at the end. You may think that with only two chapters down, I could have binned them and gotten straight to the nitty gritty, but that leads me to my second reason for keeping the whole thing. In the end, I think the final scenes were made more powerful by the lightness of the rest of the piece. In the first four chapters I had made the reader feel safe, that the premise of the story was actually going to carry through. Harry really was going to have a nice, carefree day. In the end, the effect I was going for was a kind of emotional blindside, whereas had we began at say the gift wrapping scene, the reader would not have had the time to get established into any kind of mood, and may have been a little more emotionally prepared for what's in store. Never-the-less, I still understand that I took a risk, and I think that that is evident in the summaries and responses I have left begging readers to hang around until the fluff gives way to something more. Another reason for keeping the first four chapters was that I came up with moments, that, as I read the reviews, were quite precious in their own right. People seemed to love the fact that Hermione couldn't drive. I've gotten good responses about Ron starting to get attention instead of Harry, and the scene with the ice cubes at the end of chapter 4 had one reader on another site saying she wished she was Ginny. So do the first four chapters make a well constructed story? Probably not, but they do end up making is what I like to think of as a special kind of scrapbook of memories. As an added note, I still find it kind of funny that some of the more precious moments to me have hardly been commented on at all (Hermione and Ron on the vibrating chair; Harry's little conversation with Hermione; the old couple they pass during the piggy-back race; and the locket to name a few). So while I could have omitted the first few chapters by making the last chapter a little longer, in the end, they themselves created a body of work that I just couldn't bring myself to part with. Now, when it comes to action, I have my spiel on that as well. In the writing of this, I was torn. I feel a little funky trying to write steam in this mythos. For one, they're all too young, and as a 28 year old, I feel a little dirty just contemplating putting the four protagonists in overtly sexual situations. Further, there is the issue of Harry being of age and Ginny not, which makes me feel even dirtier to think about it. At the same time, I realize that these are four teenagers, more importantly, these are two couples that are very much in love at the peak of their hormones letting loose, and it's almost impossible to put them in the kind of situation that I put them in and not have them at least take a peek over into something a little more than just snogging. This was a little easier with Ron and Hermione since much of their story could take place off camera, and I could just let things be implied. But I knew I couldn't let Harry and Ginny go the whole day without feeling at least something a little carnal, and so I chose to deal with it the way I did. Let them build up a little steam, but then pull out before they ended up doing something they may regret. And finally, I'll talk about sequels. I have three sequels planned to be specific. Each of them I plan on making extremely different from the two stories I have published, as well as from each other. The last of the three is still very much up in the air, but I've got bits of the second one fleshed out in my head, and I'm nearing the home stretch as far as writing the first one is concerned (that's to say I'm halfway through the second to last chapter). I won't reveal anything about the second story, other than the title, "The Eighth Year". But here's a little bit more of a teaser than I had posted further down as to the first. Basically, the ideas that we thought Ginny had successfully pounded into Harry's head at the end of this story weren't as well embedded as we thought. No, Harry, being the idiot that he is, doesn't go back to her, and instead leads a kind of shadow of a life in Muggle London. This story will follow Harry as he faces some inner demons in the hopes that he will return to the friends, and girl, who love him. And with all of that, I say one final thank you, I hope you do get a chance to read this more appropriate response, and I hope you'll keep an eye out for this story's sequel, "Epilogues Part I: Shadow".

Name: lantis222 (Signed) · Date: 03/29/06 10:26 · For: Chapter 1: Just Harry
I loved this story, I just wanted you to know that. Keep up the good work. and thank you for such a good story.

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I can't wait until I finish with the next one. I think I'm finally finding my rhythm on it.

Name: hpgal4993 (Signed) · Date: 03/29/06 9:38 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
AWWW this was so good and so just so perfect. I loved how hermione couldnt do it at first but managed in the end. It was a tear jerker but I LOVED it! !0/!0

Author's Response: Thank you! It's always an honor when someone actually let's you know that the emotions you were going for actually came out. I really loved writing the Ron and Hermione scene because it really gave me a chance to delve deeper into the two. When it comes to Ron, I just think that once he's actually got it, he really's got it, and nothing's gonna keep him from it. Hermione though...

Name: mrs george or fred waesley (Signed) · Date: 03/28/06 23:13 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
absolutly brilliant its is now on my favs list. loved it.

Author's Response: Woohoo, four reviews in one day! I'm honored to have made the favs list. Chapter five really was something special to me as I wrote it, and I'm glad it's getting the response that it is!

Name: fatso (Signed) · Date: 03/28/06 17:25 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
Brilliant!! I love it!

Author's Response: Absolute awesomeness. I'm really glad you did... love it, that is!

Name: ardr1 (Signed) · Date: 03/28/06 5:44 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
Three letters: w-o-w! The story is straight to the point and yet beautiful.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it so much.

Name: fairyville (Signed) · Date: 03/28/06 1:34 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
This chapter was so awsome. I loved ginny's present to harry, it was so perfect! LOL all the parts with hermione driving were so funny, great moments! Anyways I totally love this sotry!!!! Awsome work =D

Author's Response: Thank you immensely. You know, it's no secret that this isn't the only site this story has been posted on, but of all the reviews I've gotten for it, hardly anyone has mentioned the Ginny's present. I put a lot of thought into that, and I'm really happy someone liked it.

Name: muggleclaw (Signed) · Date: 03/27/06 17:49 · For: Chapter 5: Fireside and Moonlight
Finally, the last chapter makes it through the queue! Woohoo! Anyway, a great ending to a great story. I loved the little moments throughout where Hermione has to enlighten everyone, especially Ron and Ginny, on the 'finer points' of Muggle living. And the idea that Hermione, Miss Perfect herself, was a terrible driver was really amusing. I liked how you kept cutting back and forth between the two couples at the end there--it almost had a cinematic feel to it. And I also thought Ginny and Hermione's little 'emotional outbursts' or whatever you'd like to call them at the end were brilliantly written to their characters. It was nice to read in the closing paragraph that Ginny's message had resonated with Harry. Excellent job overall--I do hope to see more stories by you!

Author's Response: Thank you first of all for being the first to review the whole story. 100 reads and one review... Well, I was hoping for more, but maybe the others will eventually come around. I'd also like to thank you much for the kind words. Now to specifics. To be perfectly honest, Hermione and driving just kind of happened, I honestly didn't plan it. Well, I planned her as the driver for obvious reasons, but her ineptness at the skill was just a whim, and I'm glad it's a whim that I followed as it's been received equally well elsewhere. I actually had one revewer say he was cringing in anticipation for the next time Hermione got behind the wheel! As for the cuts, well, I had to. There was no other way, was there? What I really wanted to do was have the dialogue from the different conversations melt into one another. I only pulled it off once ("Because..." "... I don't deserve this"), and I had contemplated going back to try and rework it, but I don't think I would have gotten the same intensity if I did. As for the outbursts as you so aptly put them, this was just another case of telling the characters where I wanted them to go, and then letting them get there all on their own. That's the beauty of JKR's characters is that they are so well detailed that they really can write themselves. As for the message resonating with Harry... Well, not to give too much away, but as I work on a sort of sequel to this fic, let's just say that the message didn't take as well as we all would have hoped... Thanks again for the great review, and tell all your friends to leave one too. This chapter meant a lot to me, and my only payment is the reviews, so... Thanks!

Name: lisa_lovegood (Signed) · Date: 03/24/06 18:57 · For: Chapter 4: Kisses In The Dark
lol that was great. really funny and fluffy. how many chapters left? 10/10! Lisa xxx

Author's Response: Only one, and it's in queue! It's also about two to three times as long as the fourth chapter. Thank you so much for the review!

Name: hpnut (Signed) · Date: 03/22/06 23:20 · For: Chapter 1: Just Harry
This is a great story!! I jumped over to the other site this story is on and finished. I couldn't wait!! Just wanted to let you know you did a good job and to tell you I won't be reviewing for the other chapter on this site.

Author's Response: Aw. Well, thank you for your kind words. I really do hope you enjoyed it. As one of the few that have read the thing to the end, I think you know how important that last chapter was to me. I'd also like to take this moment to say that I currently am working on a "sequel". Only, this follow up will be along a totally different vein than "Right Here" and "One Good Day". The sequel also marks the first time I've worked with a beta. More specifically, I'm working with two betas. I'm also doing something I've never done with any written work ever, and that's doing a rewrite. I'm really hoping that everyone finds this next work to be special. Back to this story. The first four chapters are really mostly fluff, and in retrospect, I kind of wish I'd done it a little differently because I think that there are people who might get turned off by all the fluff before I finally get around to putting some depth into the piece. Still, I really hope everyone sticks around until the final chapter is up. Thanks to you for reading the whole deal.

Name: snivilus (Signed) · Date: 03/21/06 20:34 · For: Chapter 3: The Strip
very well written and fun to read

Author's Response: Awesome. Thank you so much. I like the name by the way. I'm glad you're finding it fun, I really had a great time writing them. I hope you hang around until the conclusion. Still got a thing or two waiting up my sleeve.

Name: muggleclaw (Signed) · Date: 03/20/06 0:56 · For: Chapter 1: Just Harry
Very cute concept. I'm looking forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you. All I gotta say is don't expect the cute to last!

Name: hpnut (Signed) · Date: 03/19/06 21:09 · For: Chapter 2: Eggs And Soda
Great job!!! I can't wait to see lunch and dinner. Update soon.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Don't worry, I'm not just going to update soon, I'm updating as fast as possible. As soon as one chapter gets approved, the next chapter goes immediately into queue.

Name: ardr1 (Signed) · Date: 03/19/06 3:35 · For: Chapter 2: Eggs And Soda
You know, even JKR hasn't given us the details on Harry's interests in Muggle things. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. It's always an honor to be compared in any light to JKR! I'm glad you're liking it so far.

Name: tonks_667 (Signed) · Date: 03/18/06 21:41 · For: Chapter 1: Just Harry
Nice one. This story is good. The title kind of reminds me of Offsprings son 'One Fine Day' but it's probably a coincidence. Anywhoo. I hope this story is continued.

Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah it is a coincidence. I explain the source of the title in the author's note I have written for the last chapter. As I allude to the last chapter, yes, this story will be continued. There will be five chapters in toto, and I really hope you stick around till the end.

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