"When I say ‘dark’, I mean both kinds: The kind that is the night… as well as the kind that destroyed my parents." - I really love this sentence. It's just so well put together and perfect. I've never read that poem before, but I like it. Normally shorter stories bore me, but this one is really good! Wonderfully written, very nice. I came across this story while doing a search because I was bored, and I'm glad I chose this one.
~eRin
P.S. - Happy Pi Day! (March 14th, 3/14)
that was so sad...but so beautiful! amazing...
How very profound. I really wasn't expecting it.
Author's Response: Thank you :)
How very profound. I really wasn't expecting it.
Yes, I agree, this is very good. I spotted an error, though. There was a sentence that ended in a preposition. Sorry. But I liked the philosophy of this fic. Perhaps you would enjoy the book "A Ring of Endless Light," by Madeleine L'Engle? A few things I think could be better, though. When Neville says "obviously" I think it would be best to just take that word out altogether because it makes it sound too much like Neville is trying to make the reader pity him, and the rest of your fic does not convey that. I dislike the term "Final Battle," purely because I think that JKR will NEVER use it in her own writing, it's just a term we have coined. When Neville tells us about saving Hermione, it sounds more like he is talking directly to the reader, where before it had seemed more like a stream of thoughts. This is a very good idea and more than decently written! (Check out the book!)
Author's Response: I'll definitely take a look at that book, GreyLady.
Author's Response: I'll definitely take a look at that book, GreyLady.
Oh, I really like this fic. Both Neville and Hermione are well in character. I liked how this was presented.. it's very meaningful and precise and not flowery which is how some of these type of fics might turn out to be. There is a tiny error though, which I thought I might just humbly point out - Herbology is spelled Herbolagy. I hope you don't mind. I particularly liked the last line. Do write more!
Author's Response: Lol, don't worry, I'm going to write more. A lot more. And, about the spelling mistake, thanks for telling me. I hate it when I make spelling mistakes that are so obvious XD
