Wow, that was intense. Gosh darn THEM!!!!
I chanced upon this story through a recommendation, and boy, am I glad that happened. I found so many aspects of this short, poignant piece to be enchanting - there's just something in the story that makes me ache and feel for the mother.
The beginning, with the beautiful description of a tender moment between a mother and her child was just so realistic. I, even from my rather faint memories of childhood, remember instances like these. It's not the moment, but the way that you capture it that really drew me in and made me want to just read more.
The conversation is a short one, yet one which drives the point of conflict so well and so powerfully. The first time I read the phrase 'Since them' I was curious to know what was being referred to so powerfully, yet indirectly. The use of second-person point of view made it even more intriguing. It also adds to the charm of the story, you know? I loved how well you wrote it, and how well I could connect to the person in question, although it isn't like conventional second-person point of view stories which don't usually reveal the character and leave it to the readers' imagination.
When we move further into the story, and Hermione's name is actually revealed, the plot becomes so much clearer. It evokes conflicting emotions - agreement with Hermione and sympathy for her mother - simultaneously. I feel torn, really. Hermione's character reveals her stubborn side of her, while also making us aware of the fact that she really wants to belong to the wizarding world that she was a part of since joining Hogwarts. I really liked how much insight you give to the dynamics of a family relationship wherein the child is Muggleborn.
I have no criticism to offer, actually. I just wish that I could see more of this relationship develop. I haven't really given a lot of thought to what would go on in a Muggleborn's family, and this really led me to think over the matter quite a lot. I definitely feel it's a topic that could be explored more.
Great work here!
That was sad...i couldn't have a relationship with my mother like that.
Interesting. Very nicely written. Good job. I'd like to read some more of your fics. Good job!
I Liked it! very dark and truthful. Portrays the awkwardness well
Powerful, creative, and beautifully written.
Certainly not what I would have imagined, but very creative. Interesting use of the second person. Spirited
wow this is sad but good i like it!