This is a lovely story--one that I can easily see being published. If you changed the names, erased the fanfiction-ness of it, and even expanded the story a bit (delving into the twins' lives, creating a secondary storyline for each of the Weasley siblings, and even explaining and revealing more about Sally and her past life [like who it was that got her pregnant and kicked her out--now that would be an interesting thread]) you would have a full-length historical novel.
Very well done! I very much enjoyed reading this.
WOW! I absolutely loved this story. It's so far from the Potterverse and yet you've managed to keep everyone in character. This was such an amazing story, there's danger in that Charles might be discovered in his smuggling, there's romance, even if it is in a unique form, and I'd love to see a sequel. It's brilliant how you intergrated certain characters into the available roles, Kingsley, Angelina, even Dean Thomas kept his character in being without a father. I particularly appreciated Snape and Malfoy maintaining their status as 'bad guys'. The attention to detail was also exceellent, not only descriptions, but inclusions of true history. I wonder if JKR knew that Nott was the name of a man who believed in the superiority of some perople over others, we don't hear much from him in canon, but it's quite a coincidence nonetheless. Thank you for a fascinationg and emotional journey.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, that was an absolutely lovely review. :)
Very different! I do love it though, nice twists etc. I loved the history and the little notes you added here and there!
I loved the entire story so much. It's so fascinating how you manage to fit all of the characters from Harry Potter into the story with their original (well, alomst) stories and personalities. And all the details of the story, the dresses, the comtemporary history...incredible!!
Author's Response: Thank you :) I'm so glad you liked it.
That was wonderful ! You did a really good job with it.
Author's Response: Thanks :D
You must have done a lot of research to write this story, and it really shows in all the beautiful details; the richness of the environments, the nuisances of the dialogue and cultural morays. It truly makes this something wonderful to read.
I have to admit, I got so caught up in this chapter that I was half way through before I realized I had completely forgotten to take any notes for my review! *grins sheepishly* I just cannot tell you enough how much I enjoy this story.
It was also of the same magenta colour as the twins’ frock coats, and looked like it was quite unsuitable for shores around the house.
I believe it was supposed to be ‘chores’ instead of ‘shores’ here.
She stopped when she heard voices from one of the room. She wasn’t exactly sure why she stopped,…
I think you meant to pluralize ‘room’ here.
I adore how you bring in elements from the books, like Kingsley and Angelina, or Madame Maulkins and the maroon colours of the WWW shirts, and blend them into your world. You do it so well, that unless you’re reading carefully, it’s easy to not even realize some of them are there at all.
Fred and Angelina’s relationship is so sad, and yet tender at the same time, and Hermione’s subsequent turmoil over their overheard conversation was extremely well written.
Behind her she could hear the surprised voice of the man she’d just met. “Did she just call me Mr Jordan?”
“Apparently our brother knows what he’s doing,” one of the twins’ voices replied…
I just loved this passage this whole scene, but especially this last passage *grins* The implications that Charlie’s entire family knows of his designs on Miss Hermione, and is actually sizing her up whilst she is relatively unawares is fun, and sweet. :-)
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I know this response is late, but your lenghty, detailed reviews really make me happy to read. Thank you so much for taking such time to write them both.
It’s been a little bit since I’ve been able to come back to this story – but it was like curling up with a favourite novel and a steaming mug of coffee – completely relaxing :-)
Just a tiny technical note, to start:
Charlie frowned as he bent down over the paper in front of him, putting the quill in the ink-pot to rest while he read what he had written.
Inkpot shouldn’t be hyphenated.
His observations of Hermione‘s beauty and the effect of the colour red on her appearance, and his reactions to her skin, etc, are bordering somewhere just south of cliché, but in that guilty-pleasure sort of way, that is forgivably sweet. *is such a romance geek*
I love the image of Charlie, whom you’ve shown us to be strong-willed, decisive and unruffled, as nervous and even a tiny touch insecure over writing his letters for Hermione. The way you leave the exact nature of those letters vague tantalizes your readers — who are fairly sure they know what they pertain to and are waiting eagerly throughout for the slightest hint of confirmation — very effectively :-)
The two had, however, adapted and had soon pretended that such a lively conversation between their daughter and a man they had only really encountered for the first time two days earlier, was completely within socially acceptable standards.
Hermione’s parents are very well done, and the image of them trying to restrain their forceful daughter is priceless. Charlie’s rather fortuitus mention of his library, and the rapidity with which he clung to the unexpected lifeline are nicely incorporated into his character, truly making this ‘take’ on him your own.
With reluctance he had realised that while two weeks was too short a time — it was also too long.
I like this – it just sums up the crux of the moral dilemma he’s struggling with.
Gentlemanly Charlie is just such a wonderful image, isn’t he? *smiles*. I adore the manners and the courtesies of your characters – they really weave a spell over your reader, making the mental adjustments to this bygone era so easy as to be practically effortless in the wake of your vibrant landscapes and detail. And Charlie wanting to kiss her, but knowing just how completely unacceptable that would be is just priceless.
Two slave runs had been made, one per month — more than usual but far too few anyway.
I love how tangible you’ve made his frustration here.
And you leave us with a delightfully tormenting cliffhanger – what ever is the solution he’s come up with?
umm, this chapter is a bit odd, and this is ooc, and i don't really get it. it may explain itself in the next chapter, but still, it is a bit... odd.
umm, this chapter is a bit odd, and this is ooc, and i don't really get it. it may explain itself in the next chapter, but still, it is a bit... odd.
Author's Response: That might be because it's AU and an historic setting?
Hermione Granger wasn’t a woman that was easily impressed. She found most young men pretentious and tedious, just as they found her obnoxious and opinionated — at least after she opened her mouth in more than polite conversation.
I love this. It’s just so much Hermione’s character as we’ve come to know it through the books, but nicely transposed into you’re premise.
…telling her that while opinions were nice, they weren’t a luxury an unmarried woman in her early twenties could afford.
This is just so true for that era. You’ve really captured the attitude perfectly.
They had been disappointed when the oldest one moved south to marry some French woman she couldn’t remember the name of…
Nice! ;-p You’ve done a great job of working everyone in, from Percy’s political ambition to the twins’ very in-character scandals.
The fact that Hermione didn’t want to marry either young man, didn’t stop her parents from feeling highly disgruntled at the turn of events.
“Miss Hermione, you know something like that just would not due.
It should actually be ‘do’ not ‘due’ in this sentence.
I love Sally. She’s a wonderful character, and her efficient and practical stoic-ness is a great foil for Hermione’s somewhat naďve good intentions, and disspite the fact that you have not actually written her accent, I can still hear her voice quite clearly in my head. You’ve written her dialogue so perfectly, the extra prop just isn’t needed.
Only men that didn’t really knew her had ever done that.
This should be ‘know’ instead of ‘knew’.
I absolutely adore this story - you’re portrayal of Charlie here at the end is just tantalizing :-)
Author's Response: Thank you so much - again. Both for correcting my errors and for the review. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this.
This is probably one of my favourite rare-pairs, and I wish we could see more of it as well written as this is.
The style used for the opening is very well done, and has a nice effect on the narrative. You instantly give us a clear reading of Charlie’s character without a lot of back-story and exposition, allowing yourself the freedom to get right into plot.
You’ve captured the historical setting quite nicely, blending the characters we know so well into a setting so removed from their normal milieu as to seem almost incompatible on the surface. The effect on narrative is immediate – without the familiar and comfortable plot device offered by magic, your characterizations must stand on there own, with much less tolerance for error, as they alone must carry the cannon of JKR’s works to your reader, and you’ve done a marvelous job of transporting them.
Ginny’s mischievousness and Charlie’s almost arrogant charisma are well executed and act nicely to foil Hermione’s stubborn rebelliousness, and gloss over the small liberties you’ve taken in transforming this era into your own vision, and I’m going to have a hard time denying myself the next chapter tonight, late as it is :-)
Author's Response: Thank you. I never know really what to say to such fantastic reviews without it sounding like too little. I guess my thank you will have to suffice as I am truly grateful that you would take the time to write this. I'm very glad you enjoy my story.
Loved the entire story! I'm an extreme Civil War fanatic and this was completely satisfying for my hunger of knowledge and Harry Potter combined! Thank you for the fabulously written story and keep up the good work on anymore stories you may be writing! ♥
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Your comment is deeply appreciated. :D
well this was really well done! I have been meaning to read this for a very long time and i am glad I took the time tonight! Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm delighted to hear you liked it.
Wow! I was a bit worried about the ship, but you've written it really well. I also lke how you've researched parts and included pictures.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked it.
I liked it, very creative,,.. but we never find out what happened with Fred and Angelina!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you. And I know I left a few lose threads...those are for you to figure out :D
you keep saying here...but i see no here! whewrre where where?
Author's Response: ???
i loved this story to bits! the whole idea of setting at that time was great and evem though i've never read a her/charlie ship before i'm going to! i loved it really! and you made it so believable! i've read books set in that time and you've done it perfectly! you'll have to do a sequel! and i promise to review every chapter!
pleeeeeeeeeeease don't leave us without one! i can't wait to find out what's going to happen to Charles and Hermione Weasley! and maybe we can meet Mr Potter and Mr Ronald Weasley!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it, and thrilled that you enjoyed the pairing as well. I used to be a strict Ron/Hermione girl, but now I love all Hermione/Weasley pairings *lol* As for a sequel, there won't be one. If I ever expand on this story, it will be in the form of an original book.
Thank you for the wonderful story! It was so refreshing to experience some of our favorite characters in a completely new light. I just finished reading the Lincoln/Douglas debates, and I have to admit that was the only reason I started reading your story. Once I started however, I couldn't stop hitting the 'next' tab! You write well, and the history you incorporated gave the story a lot of individuality. Good characters, good setting, and good overall plot = great story. Write more like it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked the story and that you decided to start reading it.
Awww...I liked it very much. I'm a history type of girl- very much liking anything about American history. Well, at least anything starting with the Colonial era to the Civil War. I think it is the fashions that I love so much. I wish i could go around wearing those fantastic gowns...I know life was hard, but still. It would be nice. hehe. I also enjoy reading about the great deal of patriotism during the Revolution. And I very much liked this story, for its historical setting, the way it is written- very true to the style that would be required from a woman or man living in these times, and that dash of romance. I very much enjoyed it, and I hope that the lack of reviews doesn't hurt you too much. It's a good story- if not a ship many people would support. Thanks for the read! (I read most of it today..hehe. :-D)
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm a history type of girl myself, and I'm always happy to endulge myself. :)
I just discovered this story a few nights ago amidst my midnight wanderings through the fanfic archives and read it in two sittings. First, I would like to say that I have never read a Charlie/Hermione fic as good as this. And, in truth, I was reluctant to read it because of this. Something drew me, nevertheless, and I am incredibly glad that it did because I ADORE this story! In part, I love it because I live in a (formerly) plantation town south of Charleston. The Dockside Theatre is my favorite building downtown (and I think I have seen more plays there than in all other theatres combined), so I was absolutely giddy while reading of the ball, imagining everything in minute detail with relation to that building. I could further imagine the old slave market as well as the cobble-stoned streets, airy wrap-around porches, and beautiful afternoons on the beach by the ocean. Altogether, this fic made me feel as if I were reading about home, bringing the characters and plots much, much closer to my heart and attention than any other story, the HP books included.
Deceptive Appearances also highlighted small aspects of slavery that, I like to think, only people who live down here can fully appreciate because we are surrounded by the reminders of such (Just down a few miles from me is an old plantation with a broken tabby wall and oak-lined driveway). Additionally, I was quite glad to see and be able to follow your links at the end of each chapter as they also gave me some new insight into the period (the ball gowns and habits in particular). You taught me about aspects of life in the pre-Civil War era which I was not aware (the lead weights in the skirts of the riding habits, for example) but very eager to learn of.
Furthermore, the way you brought so many characters into the story was nothing short of brilliance. You molded each into whomever she or he was required to be to fulfill his/her purpose in your story, yet kept them close enough to canon that the readers can use that knowledge as a base on which to set these people as you introduced them. I was simply amazed by the way you wove so much of the characters' tendencies and even singular incidents into your story and made them just as believable in a non-magical world as a magical one.
I sincerely hope you will further explore these characters and relationships in this era and place. I look forward to reading more of your work and have already begun perusing your other stories. Wonderful work.
Author's Response: Wow, I hardly know what to respond to this - I'm happy you like it seems a bit inadequate :D
I am nevertheless thrilled that you do like the story and it means so much to me that someone living in the area feels 'at home' when I write the setting. Since I have never been to those parts of the US, it took a lot of research to try to get things right, and I'm so glad I seem to have been able to do just that. As a history freak I'm also delighted to hear that you think you learnt more about history from the story and of course I can even begin to express how flattered I am at the thought that you think my story brought the characters so close to your heart.
I have indeed thought about exploring this further, but if I do, I will probably do so in an original setting, changing the characters and try to make a book out of it. I think it's far enough from HP to do that, even if it would require a lot of rewriting and rethinking of character parts. Either way, I hope you wish me luck on my endeavour.