This made me feel awfully sad for Draco. I detest Lucius Malfoy.
WOW. This is...just wow. You captured the mind of a little boy so well. A little boy robbed of being a child. A little child whose needs are ignored. The ryhms are nice, and the one word sentances are strong emphasysers that he is just a little kid.
Step.
Back.
Boy drops the ball.
That has got to be my favourate stansa (sp?). It's just so powerful. How fearful he is of his father, how scared he is of bein caught playing. The immediate release if the play-piece. Perfectly pharsed.
Broken.
In pieces.
Unable to bring joy.
I am in belief that this is symbolic of his spirit, which too has been broken by his father.
The last stansa, too is very powerful. I can just see little Draco crying over it. I wouldn't be surprised if his father punished him for that, too.
Great Job!
~Sunray
Author's Response: *bows* thankyou :) I must admit, i was surprised at how much people seemed to like thos poem because it's very simple, not complicated at all, but it's definitly been the most well recieved of my poetry and I'm amazed people still review after year :) Thank you very much! Lily xxx
cute, in a sad sort of way. u r a great poet!
OH MY GOD SAD.
-adds to favorite authors-
You did such a good job! The rhythm works great, and you really created a unique mood. I almost fancy I could see where it was going, because it seemed so inevitable. I like how it starts out so innocently but turns quite sad without even using any fancy advectives. I loved it.
This was quite good! I liked how the rhythm of the poem mirrored the rhythm of a bouncing ball. It was a wonderful way to illustrate the relationship between Draco and his father. Great job! ~Gina :)
Lucious Malfoy really is worse then his son.. He is a nasty bully, to break Draco's ball.
this is so great! its really special, I love good poetry! ;|
I really liked this, I don't know why you haven't got more reviews. The style of poem is very good. It's short and to the point. You've portrayed what would probably have happened in that sort of situation very well. 10/10. :)
This is good poetry, here. You took a risk to write this poem using the rythem and short phrases you used. When I first read the summary, I was sure it was Draco's account of the bouncing ferret incident. I was pleasently surprised to see how serious and reflective it was, for such a quick poem. I must admit, I really enjoyed the rythem. As I read, my head started bouncing back and forth to the beat. This poem really captured my attention, in a very good way. Excellent job.
