that is rather awesome. :)
its well written and has a beautiful vocabulary. i love your phrases like "lost in each other". it describes them perfectly.
this is really cute and sweet. i hope the you write more.
I think this story was great.
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
oooooooooooooooooo! it's so freakin cute! awwwwwwww! is that it????
i hope there's more,
it was a little quick, but still good *smiles*
Author's Response: This is a one-shot and at the moment I have no plans of continuing it. Glad you liked it, thanks for your review! :)
They both are so cute together
Author's Response: Yeah, I love James/Lily! Thanks for your review!
I give it 8 stars.
Author's Response: Thank you!!!
Not bad at all. The main issues I saw where with sentence structure and word choice. Some of the sentences, towards the beginning at least, were a little bit run-on I think. Also, some of them were a little confusing and I had to read them a few times to understand what they meant. This issue was mainly in the first half of the story, the second half was pretty much fine. There were also a few grammatical errors throughout, but that's not that big of a problem. Um, personally, I don't view Lily as the type of person who would get so scared from just walking around in a forest, but that's ok...maybe she is...Overall, you did a pretty good job. I don't see why the first reviewer said there was nothing positive to say, because there are certainly a lot of positive aspects about your story.
Author's Response: Thank you!!! You've given me some ideas on how to improve this fic and also what to look out for in my other ones! Thank you for your review!
Well, I refuse with what the earlier reviewer had to say. I thought it was beautiful :)
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for you review, and for your positive feedback! =D *can't stop grinning*
I'm afraid I don't have anything positive to say. But good job going out and writing something! I'm too lazy to ever finish a story! I think you'll get more readers if you rewrite your summary; it's really overdramatic. You don't have to make your summary dramatic and a work of literary art, you can just say "Lily wanders the woods of Hogwarts and contemplates her love for a certain someone". Maybe not the most original, but it works. The main thing is your writing style. You do an okay job describing the physical aspect of what's going on, getting up, rubbing her eyes. But as readers we need to get inside the characters' heads. Try and focus more on the mental thoughts and mindsets of the characters. Also, some of your outward descriptions seemed a little bland and generic. You might want to work on that. Sorry I had to be so critical, catcha later and write more soon!
Author's Response: Well, I'm sorry you felt the way you did! I guess I can't expect everyone to find something positive to say... but thankyou for your review anyway, it gives me some things to think about, and ways to improve my writing!