Wow, Preethi, this was just wonderful! I totally loved it! Your portrayal of Fleur, especially, was wonderful. I dunno whether it was intentional or not, but his line:
She did not apply any more make-up as she already looked pretty enough to make any man drool over her.
I've always thought of Fleur as somewhat arrogant, and this conveyed that perfectly. I loved that bit.
He ... he died on their wedding day, if I understood correctly. That is heartbreaking, and so terribly tragic. It was great.
And then during the funeral, her emotion is wonderful. It's perfect that she hated all the people and everything around her, because that is how one feels after a loved one dies.
This was awesomely written, really. I loved it!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you Hadeer, dear. :) Yes, Fleur was intentionally arrogant in that bit you quoted. And, Bill did die on their wedding day, unfortunately. Thanks for reviewing, again! :D
i was aimlessly strolling through stories today and came across this one...
you are a very talented writer. i love how well you describe everything from emotions to surroundings. i could picture so much in my own mind and felt Fleur's pain...truly brilliant.
i also found it neat that you could write both characters in a way the reader would know who they were without using their actual names. very well done! 10/10!
Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you, hopelesslyhopeful (cute name) for your wonderful review :D Your comments truly made my day!
So good yet so sad. I loved it.
Author's Response: Thanks, Mione Malfoy!
Wow, this is definitely heart-warming. I actually started crying reading this. But, I do have three suggestions:
"...she stepped forwards into that feeling of compression" should be "she stepped forward..."
"His mother had been shocked when she had announced this to her parents and his parents. She refused point-blank to allow her to get dressed without fussing over her gown or her make-up, but with a bit of persuasion from her husband, she agreed half-heartedly."
In the books, Mrs. Weasley isn't all that fond of Fleur. I can kind of imagine her wanting to take pictures of Fleur WITH her son, but I can't imagine them having "bonding" time. I see where you're coming from, as Mrs. Weasley is a very caring mother, but it still doesn't seem right.
“'I love you,' he whispered.
Tears shone in her eyes. 'I told you I mustn’t see this again.'"
For this part, I think it's beautifully written and I like how you refer back to one of his lines in the beginning, but as he says this right before he dies, I kind of imagine it being slower. Adding in a few ellipses would make the line more powerful and show that he is really struggling to speak.
Overall, I really liked this. I loved how you switched between emotion and storyline. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! And yes, Mrs. Weasley isn't all that fond of Fleur, but remember how she hugged Fleur and stuff at the end of HBP? She realised Fleur was nice when she still wanted to marry Bill after the bite. So... it seemed possible that she would fuss over Fleur's clothes, at least for her son's sake ;)
Hmm... I like the idea of Fleur having a real heart. Nice descriptions, good emotional lines. Excellent really. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, Lily Luna Lupin (love the alliteration in your name, BTW) :)
Wow, this was beautiful! So full of emotions! You have pictured Fleur very well, and I like the last sequence very much. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Author's Response: Thanks a million, joanna, dear. Glad you liked it! :)
I can't believe I am the only one to review this. It was great. I cried. I hope you keep writing forevah!
Author's Response: Thanks a million for your comments, berry! You made my day!