These past two chapters were good. I'm glad there were no fillers. Your rating would have fell down to one and a half, buy anywho....I think Draco needs to get some Prozac or Zoloft or something for his depression. I would be suprised if you made him cut his wrist. Dead Depressing 2/3 of the time, attention getting the other third. Keep it up!! :)
Author's Response: Take a picture of this! I'm responding to you! LOL. The filler chapters may still exist, but because of you, there aren't as many. Thanks for the advice, always. I appreciate it. Draco is depressed, but he has an mofo for a dad, and that can do it for you. He will not cut his wrists. But tune in, he will be kissing Ginny in three chapters. :D :D
I love this story, I'm not one for Draco/Ginny ones. Mostly Hermione/Draco ones. But this one is really really good. I'm on chapter eight. My eyes burn I've been staring at the computer screen so long. I MUST CONTINUE!
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate you reading, I really do. I'm working on the next installment right now. I'm also working on another story which is Hr/D, but I'm not sure if that'll be good enough for here. We will see. If you see anything that you feel needs improvement, definately don't hesitate to drop me a message.
Wow, I could just feel the iciness between them . . . You write him well - I do enjoy his retorts. . . And you have very good descriptive language - you can say a lot in a few words. Well done, well done.
Author's Response: Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. This chapter was one of my better ones...I'll try to see if I can keep it up.
Great chapter. I loved the title so much and the descriptions in your fic are really good. But when are Ginny and Draco actually getting together?? I know you just posted but post soon anyway! ;)
Author's Response: Thanks. Ginny and Draco will be together within the next...um...four chapters? LOL. I just hate to rush anything, especially when it comes to Draco, since it's so unrealistic for him to be with anyone anyway...but...I'm working on the next installement now.
Hello! Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to your story! Again, let me say that I am enjoying your use of POV. Minerva's little comments about Lucius Malfoy are quite funny. Hermione's observations about Draco and Luna are also interesting and and revealing. There are a few things I'm a bit confused about, however. Where does this story fall time-line wise? Is this pre-GOF AND pre-OotP? I note you mention the Quibbler, which we didn't really hear about in-canon until OotP, but Lucius is still at the Ministry, and Fudge is still in denial about Voldemort. Furthermore, Harry, Hermione and Ron seem a bit TOO calm regarding these reports about Voldemort returning. Is this an AU fic and I just missed it? A few nit-picky things: [i]Mr. Malfoy, well- spoken and polite as always has very much to share...[/i] add a comma after always. [i]How could anyone read such bull...[/i] I'm not sure "bull" is a word Minerva would use. Also, you may want to look at your formatting in the section where you are describing Draco and you have the repetition of the word "that" to emphasize each sentence. It took me a second reading to realize what you were trying to do there. I think that because you set us up so well in chapter 1 with Draco's POV, it gives us a greater sense of sympathy for him when we hear about him from Hermione. I'm interested to see where the story goes in the next few chapters. Good work.
Author's Response: Don't worry about not revewing...it takes me a long time as well. ;) You're right...I never did officially declare a timeline, but it is pre GOF. I'm going to edit that at some point into my summary. I'll also take a look at your suggestions...thanks!
This chapter was kinda slow, but well written. I just think that the whole 'accuse draco' thing is getting a little old, but pretty soon everyone will know how Draco feels. Keep writing!!
I'm a new reader and I really lke the story. I'm just a little confused. I'm guessing Harry never witnessed Voldemort's return in this story. Nevertheless, it's wonderful and very well written. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you. You're right...in this story the ending of GoF never happened. Voldemort hasn't returned as of yet. Heh, I should probably put that somwhere in my summary. Thanks for reading!
Wonderful chapter, as usual. I enjoy the way you portray Draco here . . . I like seeing the softer side of Draco as he tries to mask it under his cold and emotionless demeanor . . . Always a charade with that one. Well done. :-)
Great beginning! I never thought I'd actually LIKE Draco Malfoy or at least empathize with him. Let me get the structure and craft stuff out of the way first: 1. " Draco was enwrapped in sleep as he rolled over in his bed roughly..." I would use the word enveloped and pair rolled and roughly together. You CAN be poetic even in prose. :) 2. "As it was, Draco Malfoy was not aware of his surroundings; it was the dream itself that had held his mind." Leave out "had". 3. I love the repetition of the word "pain". You use that quite effectively. 4. Adverbs. Used sparingly (ha, ha) they add to the richness of a story, but over-used they weaken your prose. I also struggle with this in my writing, so here's my suggestion. For every adverb that you use, question whether it needs to be there or whether you can use a stronger verb. 5. "And his refrained but obvious hate for Albus Dumbledore and his followers. " Use "restrained" rather than "refrained". 6. "Incedio." InceNdio. :) Now that the nitpicky stuff is done, onto the really great things you did in this chapter. First, I loved that you showed vulnerability and that Draco's normal attitude is actually a protective facade. Writing a cannon "adversary" as a hero in a fanfic is difficult, since we're supposed to relate to someone we've been conditioned to dislike in the novels. I think you do this well in your first few paragraphs. I like Draco's ruminations about his father. We've always gotten the impression that Draco has a sort of hero-worship thing for his father, but I liked the suggestion that it's fear that motivates Draco's relationship with his father and not really love. The third thing I really liked was Draco's reaction to the rumours, gossip and whispers of his classmates. The process of his getting dressed and prepared to face the day was well crafted, succinct and powerful. Like he had to psyche himself up just to walk down the halls as if nothing was wrong. I like that he has to tell himself that he's better than everyone else. Great chapter. I look forward to reading the rest later this week!
Author's Response: Oh, goody! I love these kinds of reviews. I'm definately going to take your thoughts into mind and edit the little things whenever I get the chance. Thanks for your thoughts, they are more than welcome! :)
Well Pansy going to be a problem now isn't she? I see some serious conflict arising. I do like how it doesn't seem that they are going to hide there romance. Good story, Very pleased, Do you read the reveiws on the earlier chapters? Awaiting more
Author's Response: I do read everything that is said in my reviews, I appreciate them. One of the other readers has actually caught some mistakes and brought them to my attention. If you see anything, don't hesitate to let me know. :)
Definitly not ever how I have veiws Mrs. Malfoy but if we are going to have darling Draco have enough heart to love the beautiful Miss Weasly I suppose it does have to come from somewhere. Although I am disapointed the Sirus did not save the day
Author's Response: I'm writing more Sirius and maybe Remus into this story, so watch for that...though I'm not sure what I'm going to have them do as of now.
WooHoo and it begins, They are starting to admit their attraction to each other. PS. I am way tired because it is 130am so forgive me for less then intelligent reveiws.
I liked how you showed Pansy jelousy, people mock what they feel they can't have. overall good writing but for a romance fic, the romance is going very slow but i guess that is ok
Author's Response: Thanks for reading. One of the things that I don't like in a romance is when it's rushed, so I try not to rush mine at all. If it were say, Hermione and Ron, I could see it moving quickly. But with Ginny and Draco, it's going to take a little longer. Plus, I'm usually long winded. ;)
The only negtive thing i have to say about this chapter is, Harry almost never calls Voldy "He shall not be named" unless another person makes him
Author's Response: This is true, I didn't even think about that.
Dude, I feel bad for Pansy. But Draco must be stupid if he didn't realize how much she cared for him. And he is mean to her. I mean, they were friends but he never told her the truth about anything. She should just dump it and tell him to shove it. Update soon
Kinda feel sorry for Pansy, but you know she should have spoke up sooner, and defended Draco if she wanted to be with him...but I would rather see him with Ginny, she could do alot for him in the right ways. Hey thanks for the update...do it again!:)
Author's Response: I do too, LOL. I wasn't sure I was going to even put her into it, but since Pansy's a character no one really knows much about, I'm trying to have fun with it. I enjoy writing her. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
I could sense the tension in the room . . . thick as fog . . . It'll be interesting to see Pansy's role as things go down. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm liking my chapters with Pansy and Draco...I feel for her...I'm sure every girl has been in her place at one time or another. ;)
Great chapter....I really want to know what's going to happen next!
Author's Response: Thank you.
Oh no!! Draco is going to wake up when Ginny is out getting food, right? And then he's going to flip and they will fight again. Awe, just when everything was starting to work out. Screw it!! :( (Hopefully that won't happen...)
Author's Response: LOL, I actually thought about doing that at one point... ;)
I LOVE this story! I can't wait to find out what happens next. Please write more soon! :) Very well done.
Author's Response: Thanks again. i'm glad people are enjoying it. I'll be submitting the next part tomorrow. :)