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Reviews For Paint the Silence

Name: Hamstergeist (Signed) · Date: 05/19/06 11:22 · For: Home
Squeak Squeak Squeak! More of this story, please! Welcome to SPEW!

Name: callmehermione (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 2:36 · For: Home
EDIT: (sorry, couldn't get the last one to delete) Just, you know, scratch the last paragraph. The many-chaptered fic is a continuation, right?

Name: callmehermione (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 2:35 · For: Home
EDIT: (sorry, couldn't get the last one to delete) Just, you know, scratch the last paragraph. The many-chaptered fic is a continuation, right?

Name: callmehermione (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 2:23 · For: Home
I love all the wizarding world references right from the start. They made me smile! It was your usual packing-up, but with little twists. Great effect. I also love Charlie's familiarity with his home--precious!

He dropped his traveling bag on the floor at the foot of his bed, and then crossed over to the window. The sentence structure is a tid choppy here, I suggest removing the comma and changin 'and then' to 'and'.

The bit in which Hermione tells Charlie about everything that's happened is so short, and so poignant and beautiful at the same time! I was nearly in tears at all the loss they must have felt. It's also sad and sweet how you've developed the Weasley's story, like when Fleur came to them for help when she was sad and hurt by Bill. Charlie is wonderfully comforting, and Hermione is understandably sad.

Goodness! Well, the only thing I could reccomend would be to try and develop everything you've described into a story--or maybe just a few more chapters of memories, with flashbacks? It might be fun to play with it. It's lovely how it is, too, though! *newbie huggles*

Name: potteronpotluvhim (Signed) · Date: 05/04/06 20:03 · For: Home
good update cuz i wanna no wat happens next but serioely though really good for the first chp

Name: potteronpotluvhim (Signed) · Date: 05/04/06 20:02 · For: Home
good update cuz i wanna no wat happens next but serioely though really good for the first chp

Name: lily_evans34 (Signed) · Date: 04/30/06 17:20 · For: Home
I thought that was very sweet. I loved the romance in it. Charlie's character is never much described in the books, but you wrote him in a way that I imagined him to be. This story was really sad, but really cute as well. I've never thought of Hermione and Charlie as a pair, but they seem to work together. I just loved this really original plot line. This story is amazing. I give you an imaginary 10. Great job!

~lily_evans34 aka mrs_tom_riddle

Name: Cartoonatic (Signed) · Date: 04/29/06 9:33 · For: Home
That story was sooo sweet!!!!!!

Name: Kate Mari (Signed) · Date: 04/10/06 19:27 · For: Home
Awww, so sweet. I didn't expect what did happen, good writing. Keep up the excellent penmanship! -K.M.

Name: QueenHal (Signed) · Date: 04/02/06 23:43 · For: Home
I really liked this, Mar. It was so sad—but at the same time, so hopeful. You have a lovely way of describing things and moving the scene through words. I noticed that you use a lot of repetitiveness in your paragraphs to build up a certain tone. I like this style a lot—in fact, I use it. However, if you do it too much, it loses its effectiveness. Just a heads up :) Otherwise, I really found your writing quite lovely to read.

But there was someone out there in the garden on the moonlit September. Charlie was too curious not to go down and find out who it was.

I'm not sure “Moonlit September” quite works... maybe you meant “moonlt September night”? I'm sensing you want a bit of atmosphere here. How about: “But the moonlit garden was not empty as he expected it to be—there was someone down there, embracing the cold September night air as if it were summer again. Charlie could not make the figure out, but he found his curiosity take hold of him, willing him to discover who the lonesome figure could be.” Okay, well, I got a little carried away there, but I hope you see what I mean. I really adore the implications here—I just think you could do more to build up the mood.

Out here, the memories always seemed to encompass more people as well. I'm not sure what you mean here.... clarify? Are you leading up to Charlie's approach? In that case, I'd do something like, “Out here, the memories found their home among the stars, and she felt so small against them—so lonely.” This way, you can build up to why she wouldn't mind Charlie coming to comfort her.

I really like her reply to him about “escaping the house”. You're personifying the house here; it's as if the walls themselves are soaked with memories and pain. It's a rather chilling image—and a good one for the two of them to fall silent to.

And... I adore this: She told him about Fred and George’s Christmas present to their father: a set of something called 'Pokemon Cards' which had no actual use... much like the other things Mr. Weasley collected. But they were snappy colors. -- just the kind of thing the twins would do! Even in the midst of such a sad situation, this brings a smile to my lips. It's wonderful to have a balance of comedy.

And your last line.... “Just one kiss. Then he held her through the sunrise.” Mmmmmm that is just perfect! I wish I had a collection of favourite last lines ever—because then I would steal this and add it.

Over all, it is a lovely little tale—filled with tears, but also with a flickering of smiles. Thank you so much for sharing it with us :)

Name: Poultrygeist99 (Signed) · Date: 03/30/06 21:52 · For: Home
Sorry, but I'm going to leave you the most pointless review of all... UPDATE NOW!!! Quit writing everything else and work on this. Quit modding, and write this story. Quit reading my story, for crying out loud, and work on this story.

This is some good writing. I love the way you set Charlie up, and Hermione too... They're just so TIRED. And now you need to get on your computer, or however it is that you write, and go fix them.

Author's Response: -throws confetti and dances around with mandy's review- I'm so glad that you liked this, because I fangurl your stuff, and so that's such a compliment. I feel their tired emotions every time I read this. I'm still shocked that it came out of my fingers and tapped itself out onto my computer. -quits modding, quits reading Healing Auras II- (which isn't hard as there hasn't been a new chapter in like...a week) -waits for the PtS muse to reveal more story to her-

Name: Cherry and Phoenix Feather (Signed) · Date: 03/26/06 18:34 · For: Home
Oh, dear. You killed some of my favorites! That being said, Charlie is a fantastically under-appreciated character and I love that you would bring him in like this. After Ron, he does seem to be the best Weasley for Hermione and I utterly love that you brought them together after Ron's death. I love the part at the beginning where Charlie's just coming home. Let's see, anything else? Oh, yes. Twins+Pokemon cards=fall out of chair laughing. Brilliant.

Author's Response: Oh, I know! But let me first point out that I didn't kill them - that was the bad guys. I'm excited to get a foray into Charlie's life, and I think this will definitely be an interesting story to tell... Thanks for your lovely review, I'm so glad that you loved the pokemon detail.

Name: Natasha Johnson (Signed) · Date: 03/21/06 22:01 · For: Home
You killed Harry, Ginny and Ron!!! My god, I was almost crying. But Hermione and Charlie, that was fantastic. I love the way you write, it flows really well and everything fits together perfectly. I have absolutely no criticisms, unless there's one called "Longer"...lol, just kidding. And I will read your other story, but have no time right at this second :). Lovely, darling, lovely! ~Lady Jade

Author's Response: LOL! I frequently use that complaint..."longer..." and never fear, for it actually shall be! I hope you enjoy the other story when you get to it, my dear.

Name: christa_3031 (Signed) · Date: 03/11/06 22:30 · For: Home
I love this story, please write more, it's really good, I love the ending where they kissed.

Author's Response: I'm working on a bit of a continuation, you could say... ;)

Name: padfootprongs (Signed) · Date: 02/25/06 21:10 · For: Home
I liked it. This chapter really painted a picture in my head. I thought that the kiss was a fabulous ending to the chapter. Good job.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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