Whaaaaaaat? I think my heart just got crushed. Gahhhh.
I thought it was so sweet the number of times he tried explaining to him, I was even smiling. But he settled on THAT ONE? Why must you hurt me so? *shakes fist*
Will this be fixed in part 3?? But, but, I need sleep now.... D:
Wow! Excellent approach. Threadbare yet complex. It's the innuendo that makes the piece. It is filled with feelings. The best stories allow the reader to project themselves into them and haven't we all been there in Ron's shoes in some way? Ignore the previous review. You have much talent and creativity. Carry on.
Wow! Excellent approach. Threadbare yet complex. It's the innuendo that makes the piece. It is filled with feelings. Of course the best stories allow the reader to project themselves into the role of protagontis and haven't we all been there in Ron's shoes? Ignore the previous review. They know not of what they speak. You have much talent and creativity.
no offence but this is really dumb.
44 tries including the resulting letter. poor ron.
...and really, poor draco.
your characterisations are pretty good, though unexpected. i really think that you could develop your fanfic. dont stop with this... you've really got something going here
Author's Response: It seems I can't stop even if I try... Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
very amusing thank you
Author's Response: Thanks!
Oh, my! The frustration, the awkwardness, the sheer angst is lovely! I'm torn between laughter and feeling horrible for Ron.
And poor Draco. Will he ever know how many times Ron attempted to write that letter? How many different ways he tried to approach it?
Author's Response: Flangst! Poor both of them, indeed. I had a blast writing this, but they are in quite a bind. Thanks for reviewing!
Hmmm. I like this. It's a different spin on a fan-fic. Yeah, I like it a lot. It's nice to see some original writing styles. I think that your portrayal of Ron is very genuine. A teenage boy who is afraid of what he is and doesn't know how to handle it in relation with his family. And, the poor thing, doesn't know how to deal with a relationship with another boy. You've definitely captured that. Short and clever. Nice work.
Author's Response: I must admit that some of the style was thanks to a challenge from the forums, which was to write the fic entirely as diary or letters. Ron just seemed incapable of writing one long juicy letter, though. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this!
I like the way you've set this out...
It really shows Ron's uncertainty.
Kepp up the good work
Author's Response: Thanks! The fanfics just keep coming.
Perfect. This is so perfect. I'm speechless as to what more to say, but i can relate... sometimes the right thing to say can be so hard...
Author's Response: Can't it just? Poor Ron. The boy who can't always say what he means, stuck with something impossible to say. Thanks for reviewing!
NOOOOOOOO! *sniff* Why, Ron, why?
Author's Response: Thanks! *passes tissues*
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read one of the following stories to Blue Eyes Reflecting, I had meant to before but things came up as they are wont to do. heh, I only just realised the irony of starting a review on this story with an apology *rolls eyes*.Anyway, I wasn't sure what to expect or how you would sequel the first story, and I certainly wasn't expecting it to be written in this format. But it works. I wouldn't have imagined it possible to construct a story out of many beginnings of the same letter, and yet here you've done that quite brilliantly. I have been reading a lot of novel length fanfiction lately and so a one-shot makes a nice change and this is also a very different type of one-shot, the only story I can think that I've ever read quite like this actually. I like how you've not only got a very unlikely pairing to work with, but also styled a very original way of portraying a moment in their realtionship.I believe I mentioned last time I thought you had Draco's character down really well, and now I find myself appreciating your ability to get Ron so right. I have never particularly enjoyed writing his character, and it probably reflected that I gave him very little depth when there is more to him than having 'the emotional range of a teaspoon'. You manage to show something behind his tactlessness (possibly that he has to try really hard to be quite that tactless :p ), and he's just wonderfully Ron.There wasn't a single start to the letter that I felt Ron wouldn't have said, but I have a few favourites. I very much liked I said I’d invite you to see my room this summer, and if I were in it myself I would though I couldn't say exactly why, it just made me grin. But the best one had to be I miss you. Really. But we’re doing good-guy things this summer and I can’t really invite you along I would've loved to know what Draco would make of that. Despite the evidene of his sincerity through reading all the other attempts, that just sounds so blatently insincere I could easily imagine Ron saying it even when he didn't mean it quite like that. I kind of half wished he'd kept all of his attempts and just sent Draco the lot, that would have been interesting.And, of course, how could it end any other way than by that last letter. Very blunt, but very Ron. I wonder if Hermione managed to work anything out from all those times she saw Ron writing this. But anyway, it captured a surprising amount of Ron's character and also gave the reader a lot of information, which was cleverly done by you in such a small amount of words as well as quite a restrictive style to write in. I'll come back soon to read the next one-shot - and I've no doubt it will be good - loved this one :) .
Author's Response: Wow, another rich review! Those were a couple of my favorite starts, too, actually. Poor Ron. This would be a hard enough mission even for the non-chronically-tongue-tied. I too wish he could have sent all the beginnings to Draco, but he was economizing on the parchment. I really must go capture another Blue plotbunny...!
I love how you captured so much emotion--frustration, anxiety, heartache, desire, discomfort, longing, disappointment. More than just being a good read, I think it's an accurate account of someone in Ron's position--whether it's someone with a lack of privacy, someone suffering disappointment, someone with battling internal-external issues--goodness it is hard to be a teen sometimes, isn't it? I liked it.
Author's Response: Thanks! You know, I remember the teen years pretty vividly and don't miss them one little bit. This was half-tricky to write, with a lot of planning time before sitting down to do it, but the planning paid off -- from there it wasn't so hard.
wow thats kinda sad or maybe i'm miss ready it but still i liked it
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. And yes, it should be sad! Poor tongue-tied or quill-tied Ron. Poor Draco. Thanks for reviewing!
Author's Response: Specifics? It's supposed to follow "Blue Eyes Reflecting," if that helps.
i liked this chapter it was kind of cute
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Well, that's a big step up from "Yuck!" at least.