awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! this is one of the cutest, sadest, most romantic stories ever! I LOVE IT!!!!!!
this is the most beautiful story that i have read in a long time i acryed and i almost cryed just reading the summery you made a very beautiful story i loved it thank you
Oh, god, that is so sad :(
Aw!!! That was....interesting. I loved it so much. You see, it was...like she was describing when she was a kid, but she wasn't. Lily was talking about her childhood as an adult and I..god, there aren't words. That was...amazing.
By the fact that this isn't being posted on the LAST day reviews are due, is a very special treat! hee! Anyway, while going through your author's page, you said this was your personal favorite, so I'm looking forward to reading it. Plus, I've seen your banner for it before and it's just lovely- very eye catching, I was excited to finally follow a pretty banner to it's story!
Typically, when I read a story, I stop along the way and make comments. cut and paste sentences that don't flow properly, or just to point out a typo. If there was a typo in your story, I never found it. I was so enthralled with the story itself. And really, that's the mark of a truly well written story.
The emotions are excellently handled. That Lily would regret all the time she spent being annoyed with him because that took away from more time they could have had together. I felt myself tearing up as she described how in love with her he was. Of course, we have DH now and a few more details but essentially this story is still sound.
My only criticism is of the timing of Lily's story. Of course, I'm assuming that this is Halloween, and James is dueling Voldemort downstairs. But why would Lily spend so much time giving her son this beautiful explaination, when she could have been trying to escape? Of course, now we know that there wasn't this time, but besides that. I think your story either needs to be set, where James is out doing something for the Order, and Lily fears that he won't return. OR it could take place on that fateful night, but then her actions need to be more rushed. I just don't see Lily sitting there, talking calmly to her son while she waits for Voldemort to come. Maybe she tells him this story while she hurridly tries to pack a few of his things and tries in vain to set up some protection spells?
Okay, I'm done picking at your timeline. Because, essentially, this was a very necessary and moving mololouge. Perfect for what a fearing mother would say to her infant son. I specifically liked the line:
I had always felt that he thought he had everything but me and that was the only reason he needed me.
That realization seems so in character for Lily. She resisted him, because she didn't want to be he "last conquest" or something. She was not to be valued as an object to be owned, but a person to be loved and honored. He was just very poor at letting that be clear.
The description of their first kiss was absolutely beautiful. The water being violet in the spring sunset is a breattaking image. You've done a very good job, with both scenery and characterization, at showing us what the characters are experiencing, not just telling us. A very important difference you have mastered here.
Overall Delaneylove, this story is fantastic! I am so glad I got the opportunity to read it! *HUG*
Really good. Really really GOOD.
aww that was marvelous spectacular soo so just wow! that that was soooooooo sad! it was brilliant in a twisted way! but great job i apprecaite it!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you appreciated the story! That makes me very happy.
Awwwwwwww. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It made my fan girl heart break:P Seriously though, well done. I think you have a wonderful talent for writing. Keep up the great work:P
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your compliments! I'm glad you liked the story.
I actually re-read it, that's how great it is! Btw, off-topic question, but can you tell me how to post images in my account? Thank you.
Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you liked it.. twice! That's wonderful. And I'm going to send you an e-mail explaining that last thing.
that was so sad. I was in tears. amazing job!
Author's Response: I'm sorry you were sad, but I'm glad you liked the story! Thanks for letting me know.
"The door opened."
wow - that was a powerful ending. this story was so beautiful! i love how you never actually said it was lily, james & harry - but we could tell.
it was so lovely, it made me want to cry.
Author's Response: I'm glad you could tell! That has been confusing before, but I tried to clarify it. Thank you!
A great story...so sad they had to die! I really loved the ending "The door opened." Sad, but unmistakably true. I loved it!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the last line. Thank you for reading!
That was beautiful. I can't imagine Lily just sitting there, waiting for her death. The idea of spilling her soul to her baby boy is miraculous. I loved your description, it was like seeing a movie in my head. And the ending almost broke my heart. It was so perfect. The entire story, truly.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you for the wonderful review. I really appreciate that you enjoyed it!
Delaney, this is so amazing. I love how names aren't mentioned once. I love how there are no specifics. It gives everything so much more allure and urgency. Lily's emotions and reflections are absolutely riveting. The only snip to critique is that you said, "Suddenly the beauty of that spring say..." when I think you meant 'day'. Good heck, I want more of this James and Lily. This Lily is spot on. I don't want it to be over for them, and it is, and just, -sigh-
How come I never came round to read more of your stuff sooner? I'm in lust with your writing. And I'm fully looking forward to S_F
Author's Response: I'm sososo glad you appreciated the anonymity, Mar dear! Thank you so, so much. Thanks for catching 'say.' And.. um.. in lust? SQUEE! S_F shall be heavenly.
Oh my gosh, that was so heartfelt. It was short, but beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm delighted you could feel the emotion in the story.
Author's Response: Tttthanks
You have a way with titles. This one just attracted my attention as well. You know the story will be a confession of some sort but not in an entirely dark and heavy sort of way.
The description you've made was poetic in a way and Lily's confession showed her utmost feeling of love and you even managed to show her inner strength. The story of James and Lily's romance truly pulled my heart and in the end - it's bittersweet for we all know how it'll end.
I always find it difficult to write a straight-out narration - you made it seem so easy and moreover everything flows well -- the events doesn't seem to switch abruptly. Lovely piece of writing Delaney :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Miel! I really worked hard to make the narration work in this one, and I'm so glad it actually did. *hugs*
Wow...that's really powerful. First rate job!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad it was effective.
aww! i wish you would have made 2 chapters out of this. then you could explain more and put in harry's story.. but good job, i really loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Adding a chapter is a good idea.
Of all the stories about how Lily sacraficed herself, this is the best one I've read. It doesn't show her death and just leaves you to think about what could have happened. You really captured the Potter family's love between the three of them, and James and Lily. This story gave away how James and Lily had their relation grow and start, then how it changed to Harry, and I love that you did something different than anyone else. You have such a talent and don't ever stop writing. Very brilliant job!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I was really trying to make it different. I'm delighted you liked it, and noticed!