Absolutly beautiful, a bit trajic for Remus of course, but still, epicly awsome
This one is really good. Much more realistic than some. Awesome.
I'm really glad you showed Remus getting rejected by a girl because of being a werewolf, but it felt a bit rushed. You could expand it out a bit. Plus, many people would probably want to deny that their friend is a werewolf. After all, Remus was friends with the other three his whole time at Hogwarts, but it took them about two years to figure it out and admit it because Remus said they became Animagi in their fifty year after trying for three years. Only having this happen twice seems a bit quick for her to suddenly jump to the conclusion he's a werewolf and then confront him.
On that same note, if she's a Ravenclaw, then how would she know that he left at sunset? That's about the time everyone's back in their common rooms, isn't it? So, she really wouldn't have any idea that he had left at sunset on the full moon, just that he'd been getting sick overnight and ended up in the hospital wing the next morning.
I would've liked more dialogue tags to show who's speaking. You give us some clues occasionally, but aside from that, the dialogue just sort of floats around without being very grounded, and it's a little hard to follow especially in the long sections of dialogue.
Good job and keep working.
The friendly banter with which you started the story is precious, especially accomplishing the goal you mentioned in the Author's Note at the end. It makes sense that the four would joke about their Animagus adventures, trying to lighten Remus's dark curse.
Her long, sort-of-silver hair fell untidily around her face, I love this tidbit. Her hair is silver, but untidy. It takes away any Mary-Sue possibility there may have been for this character. Lovely.
"Are you a werewolf?" Gracious, trust a Ravenclaw to figure something like this out and then just come out and ask about it. It's kind of powerful, the way she confronted him. Just one thing, though - it wouldn't have been exactly four weeks ago, it would have been exactly one full moon ago, which is exactly a month.
I love your Sirius and James relationship, as well as the ever-present Peter. You did a wonderful job setting Remus up for the arrival of Tonks (and even the self-hate he feels when Tonks isn't afraid to love him) and for the loneliness he feels as his friends begin to disappear.
Loved this story - I feel like you delved deeper into the relationship between the Marauders while still telling a lighthearted story. Thank you!
I love your portrayal of Remus, it's dead on. The only thing that worries me is the fact that Charlotte knows he's a werewolf now, won't she tell. Ah well, seeing as it's only a one shot there's not much to worry about that happening. Altogether, I really liked your fic. Well done!
aww...that was sweet, with a bittersweet ending. Keep it up!
This was really sweet. You really showed how the majority of the wizarding world would despise Remus because of his condition. I agree with you how we mostly see the types of girls who somehow manage to get over the fact he's a werewolf, and fall in love with him.
Only one person can do that, and it's Tonks. =)
This was amazingly well-written for English not beng your native language!
I loved Sirius' and James' argument. You characterized them so well, and it was a cute finish to a story that was otherwise a bit darker.
A wonderful story!
Write more, please!!!!!!!!! I really loved it. Could you continue on this one? Extend it? Do a sequel?? This was too awesome to be a one shot. Really well written, and I didn't see a single misspelled word, so congrats. 100000000000/10!!!! Can't wait to see what you write next. I'll be waiting. ;)
Author's Response: My! You're really sweet. Saying that there weren't mispelled words is fantastic, because English isn't my native language after all. I'll try to get out of the writer's block and write more. Thanks!
Really well done, I like the idea that Remus had girlfriends at Hogwarts and that they simply didn't understand. The boys were all very comical and I liked the way you had dialogue flow without having to constantly add who said what. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks! That's the one bit I was more worried about, actually, so it's good to know I didn't fail completely :)
It's really good. It's a nice change from many of the marauder fics that usually concentrate on James and Sirius's girlfriends.. I dunno though, this is my first Remus one, and I really like it. Great job for your first fanfic. I assure you mine was nowhere near as good... lol.