Nice job. It deserved an award. Very authentic, and I like the idea of it being in the mouth of a Malfoy ancestor. It helps me understand the pureblood slant.
Just one thing: watch your conjugation of the verb 'to have'. iIbelieve, though I'm no expert, that it's I, we, you (pl), and they *have*; thou hast, and only he, she, and it *hath.*
...O.O...wow, I can't believe you're here. This is Morwen Eruviel from Third Floor Corridor right? If not...great fic and sorry for the intrusion. If so...heh heh heh >->....found you. Great fic either way. Toodles!
Author's Response: Er, no, sorry but I'm not, and do not happen to be acquainted with that particular site. However, thank you for reviewing my story, even if I'm not who you think I am.
I am so glad I found this story! It was fascinating, and incredibly well written. I could hear these words being spoken as I read them, you have a gift for oratory (particularly of the 13th-century variety). I was totally drawn in by this man's speech to his fellows - and then quite suprised to find out at the end that he was a Malfoy! I'm not sure if you meant that to be a suprising little twist (I probably should have expected it from the summary) but it was for me and it was neat. The entire speech flowed very well, and was just so original. I am curious - was there a real event on October 31, 1276 that inspired this speech?
Great job! Congrats on winning second place for this piece, it deserves the kudos! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Yay, thank you for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Actually, I didn't do the Malfoy thing on purpose, and it just sorted ended up that way because I wanted it to be why they have such strong predjudices. Even though some predjudices occur seemingly without reason, some have deep roots and I wanted to investigate the idea that there's more about pureblood hatred than we think. I honestly don't know if there was an event at that time, although I know there was some turmoil around it, but I actually chose that date because I thought of it as an interesting reason why they celebrate Halloween when probably few of them were Christian or even pagan as they were magical.
First of all, congratulations for placing 2nd on the monologue challenge. This is a good story ... I do hope to help improve it a little.
Although for many years we have been all too well aware of the distrust the common people place in us, (just a slight typo)
us, our kinfolks, and indeed our very livelihoods, (I think it ought to be pluralized just to follow the same pattern as the phrases that preceded and followed it )
I like how your character justified his belief. I could actually feel his strong resolve and sincerity in that speech he gave. It's nice to see the root of all those prejudice - that their hatred has strong roots. So your title extremely fitting :)
One Suggestion I'd like to give is for you to cut short / divide your paragraphs. Although grammatically speaking there's nothing wrong. The MNFF window / reading section is a bit on the narrow side - long paragraphs are not easy to read. This is of course only for readability purpose.