Hmmm This was very interesting. I am impressed! So many details and both Hermione and Snape were in character. Excellent job. This is going on my favorites...
Awesome story. Really good description.
Well, I was browsing your author page this morning, and I still need someone with whom to ship Hermione, so why not experiment? Anyway, down to the review.
The contrasts start right at the beginning. I like how you introduce them with 'the last time he had followed this path....' The gloominess of his life is very sad! I feel terrible for him.
Completely disgusted by her inability to control herself,Severus continued to tower over her in hope that she might come to her senses at some point in the near future. I was a little confused here. Could she not control herself, or could she just not see him?
Hermione laid it out in front of him like a bloody corpse at a murder scene. This is an excellent simile! Would Snape know about murder scenes? Well, obviously, but that kind of strikes me as a 'Muggle' term...
He let the floodgates open, and so the emotion that was previously locked within his heart was allowed to flow through his veins, up and into his eyes. This is such a lovely turning-point of the story! Severus' decision to finally let his emotion show is touching. You wrote it perfectly, too!
So I'm fairly sure I'm in love with your writing.. *clutches computer* The way you make the words just fit with each other is brilliant in itself, but there's the wole added bit with the storyline, emotion, truth, realisations and love interwoven into a beautiful story! Absolutely amazing.
I believe what Cinderella Angelina has written follows my thoughts very closely. You are a talented writer and you have wonderful description and characterization. I just wanted to say that I especially liked the way you used the line : ďCome into the light,Ē she begged. ... I was totally fascinated by the fact that it meant more than just a simple step forward. That she was asking him to leave the Dark Lord. Congratulations on conveying such ideas to perfection. I do enjoy reading a good one-shot every now and then. :)
Author's Response: Arwwww. Thank you very much! You've made me smile!
The quote "Come into the light" is 100% stolen from Beauty in the Beast - it's my favourite line from my favourite disney. In fact, this whole story has been slightly influenced by that movie because I do see some kind of strange similarities between it and Hermione/Snape.
Thank you again. Glad you enjoyed it!
I absolutely needed to write a Hermione/Snape review this month, and I thought that it would be nice to review yours, seeing as I read it so long ago and I need to get into the habit of reviewing what I read. So, review your story I will!
Okay, Iím going to start out by warning you that I am refusing to be nitpicky throughout this review. There were a few typos and errors, but they didnít detract too terribly from the story so I will ignore most of them. [/disclaimer]
You have such vivid descriptions in this story, and I especially love the continuing contrast between dark and light, moonlight and shadow, that sort of thing. I thought it was rather well executed and apt for a Snape-might-end-up-being-redeemed story. Other nice imagery includes the truth as a bloody murdered corpse. I never knew I had such a morbid fascination, but I thought that it was in character of Snape to think of this event in those sorts of terms.
Hermioneís ďOkayĒ being as fragile as her trust was also a very nice image. I liked it very much; you have some real skill in making those sort of connections.
I know itís all just to further the plot, but I couldnít help but wonder just what the Darught of Living Death could be for. If you do ever write a sequel, I hope you think more on that, because it intrigues me. What would both Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix want with that particular potion? Just something for you to stew about for a while.
It was quite humorous that it took Snape that long to realize that heíd just Stupefied a human being. Was it just because heíd not been near ďnormalĒ people for so long? Or was it just funny. I also liked how he shined a bright light in her face to irritate her and she thought it was Ron. A nice bit of humor in the midst of all the other dark introspection.
I thought the way Hermione did finally trust Snape was perfect. I donít know if I have much more to say about it because I would just be repeating what you already said and so you would know it, so yeah. Well done on that bit.
I couldnít help but think it just a little bit out of character to go from hating Snape to trusting Snape to kissing Snape. I didnít understand her train of thought (probably because neither did Severus). Not that Iím mad about the kiss, but I think it might have been okay just leaving it at the holding of the hand and maybe a tentative hug, although that would have led to a kiss (maybe, you never can tell with that Granger girl), so I guess itís fine how you left it. It just struck me as a little odd, especially when she decided that she would be willing to pursue a relationship with him.
Okay, I canít help it. I have to put in one nitpick. Agh, I canít find it now!! But somewhere in there, before all the other talk of Pensieves, there is a pensieve that needs to become pensive. I think itís talking about Hermione and it kills me that I canít find it. Oh well. I hope you enjoy your very vague nitpick. *rolls eyes*
Your Snape is very good. I like how irritated he is by the disarray of his lovely potions closet, and how he refuses to become immersed in nostalgia because itís not the kind of person he would be, is it? His discussion about his innocence and how futile it would be strikes me as the sort of thing he would think about the whole idea. I could keep talking about every little thing, but suffice it to say that I like the way you wrote Snape. I expect youíve had a bit of practice by now.
Overall good story. If Hermione and Snape had to meet at Hogwarts under those circumstances, it is only fitting that it is in a Potions closet. And if anyone can prove Snapeís innocence, with a little motivation, it would be Hermione Ė she has great ideas about how it happens (and I suppose you do, too, seeing as you wrote it and all). I feel as if I am rambling and so perhaps I ought to stop before I either praise or criticize every single sentence in your story. Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: Oooooh! *huggles CA* Thank you! This is one very lovely, well thought out review. I'm glad you liked all the strange imagery I threw in there and the humour, lol. The potion was very random - I didn't look too deeply into the reasons why they'd need it. I just thought it would be a potion taht both sides would want for one reason or another. I should have stopped to think about that reason, and maybe that is a lesson for the future.
The moving from hating (well, not hating, just not trusting or particularly liking) to kissing comes from my influence from Ashwinder. That site contains stories where much more goes on in the space of a shorter amount of words. Although, my biggest criticism of SH is that it doesn't look enough into characterisation so maybe I shouldn't have let some of the more smutty one-shots influence my opinion of the ship. When you've read as many as I have, you end up taking the ship for granted, which is a bad thing.
Your review is lovely. No need for a disclaimer at all. The Penseive thing has been driving me mad - Word has it as pensive and keeps changing it back whenever I'm not looking. I think I've finally added the proper word to my dictionary now. Thanks for pointing it out.
Yes that's brilliantly written and I'd also LOVE a sequel 10/10 and I might check out your other stories...
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I am glads you enjoyed it! There isn't going to be a sequal anytime soon... but there is always Lacrima.
This is only a one-shot. I demand a squel! If its not to much to ask :)
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the review. If I said that they lived happily ever after would that work as a sequal? I am writing four stories at the moment, so it's difficult to find room for another. Although, feel free to read Lacrima - 29 chapters of Hermione/Snape angst!