MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: potterscouse (Signed) · Date: 07/23/07 12:16 · For: The Beginning
loved it all, wkd

Author's Response: Ta very much. Also, you're reviewer #300! Wooooooo! Have some cyber cookies, and also ... hmm, I think 300 Padfoot Points would be appropriate. If that last comment confused you, and you'd like to know what Padfoot Points are, I would read my fic, The Things I Do For L.O.V.E ... that will explain it!

Name: potterscouse (Signed) · Date: 07/23/07 5:46 · For: Children Are The Future
great story i love it. however, in the first few chapters you said when sirius was two, andromeda was 3 and narcissa 5 or 6 and bellatrix 8. then when sirius was in first year, you said andromeda was in sixth year and bella and cissa had left. WRONG. oh well one thing doesnt matter i love your writng!!!

Author's Response: I know, I know, believe me. I realised my mistake, and I'm correcting it soon, don't worry. I'm glad you enjoyed it despite that, and that you like my writing, so thanks vey much, and for reviewing, too, I appreciate it! =D

Name: Luna_Lovegood11 (Signed) · Date: 07/18/07 11:36 · For: The Beginning
This is a wonderful story. My favorite part was the beginning and ending. Remus, as always, was my fave character. When Lola and Sirius got back together, my favorite quote was "My plan might have been been insane, but it wasn't boring." My favorite other character quote was by James in the same chapter. "That...that's ridiculous! Is it even possible? How could he do this? I'll kill him! We've ony been going out for a week, and he bloody turns him into a llama?" Lola and Sirius was my favorite couple. I cried a lot during the sad parts. I think the ending made me the happiest. The llama scene made me howl with laughter. I love llamas. I'm still cracking up. Wonderful!

Author's Response: Wow, thanks, great review, I'm glad you enjoyed it! The llama scene ... well, my friend bet that I couldn't fit a llama into the story, so I was determined that I would ... anyway, that's where that whole shenanegan came from ... thanks for reviewing this fic!

Name: Luna_Lovegood11 (Signed) · Date: 07/17/07 15:35 · For: Changes

Author's Response: =D I'm sure she'll be glad of your support.

Name: perfect_angel (Signed) · Date: 07/16/07 23:33 · For: The Beginning
this is a great fanfic! good job and i hope you continue to write. i look forward to reading more of your work!!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you've enjoyed it, despite my thinking that it has too many faults ... but still, thanks for reviewing, I look forward to hearing what you think about any other stuff you read!

Name: perfect_angel (Signed) · Date: 07/16/07 20:28 · For: Joy
ooooh, i like how you ended the chapter. nice!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: riddiculusvampire (Signed) · Date: 07/11/07 13:05 · For: The Beginning
This story was amazing, like no other that I have ever read before. My favorite part was when Sirius was dating Tara and was sneaking around with Lala because it shows all of his emotions and how much he grew up during that part of his life..I don't really know how to explain it. You are such a fantastic writer! I never regre reading ANY of your stories because I love them all and every single part in them!!

Author's Response: Wow. That's ... that's a really great review. Thanks. I'm glad you liked the parts with Tara / LaLa, because I wasn't particularly happy with those bits ... but hey, what do I know? ^_^ I'm really glad you liked this, and my other stories. It's really encouraging, thank you so much!

Name: taytay (Signed) · Date: 07/07/07 19:35 · For: The Beginning
i loved it i stayed up till like 11 at night reading this

Author's Response: Really? Lol, sorry to keep you up! I'm glad you liked it though. =D

Name: mugglespy11 (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 22:25 · For: The Final Struggle






obviously i liked it, good job, wow really good.

- amanda

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you liked it, but ... a sequel? I don't think there's anything left to say ... but I'm very glad you liked it so much! Thanks!

Name: gp6th (Signed) · Date: 06/07/07 12:59 · For: The Beginning
Wow. This story is simply amazing. Though It is probably bad for my heath to stay on my laptop reading until three o'clock in the morning, then wake up at eight so I can finish xD You are an amazing author!

Author's Response: Lol, that IS probably bad for your health ... just don't sue me if you go blind! =D Kidding. But I'm glad you liked it so much, thank you!

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/05/07 12:37 · For: The Beginning
You asked me in your response to one of my reviews ďWhy is Dumbledore your least favorite?Ē
Several reasons, one- because he kept Harry in the dark about so many things.
Two- He could have had Harry studying Occlumency for years, instead of just in the fifth, and he could have taught him himself.
Three- He tried to explain away his mistakes by blaming the fact that he is an old man. Not good enough!
Four- I think he knew he would have to be killed in HBP and he didnít bother to tell Harry. He just let Harry get blindsided with it.
Five- No matter how J.K. writes Harry in the seventh book, which I am sure he will still be ĎDumbledoreís man through and throughí, and Ďlooking for Snapeí, I think Snape is still on the right side and Dumbledore just didnít give enough information to those who will need it.
Six- I donít like people who are too omniscient. He seemed to know what was going on everywhere, but wouldnít share the knowledge with anyone else.
Seven- When it is all said and done, he sent Harry into the wizarding world to fight the most evil, egomaniac bent on dominating and subjugating the world, with as little information as possible. He has Harry fighting almost blind, and that is unacceptable. It would be hard enough to beat Voldemort with all of the knowledge Dumbledore had, but with only a fraction of it, it will be almost impossible.
In the fic I am writing, I have Harry still adoring Dumbledore, but there are a few points made about the fact that they are all fighting blind without more information. And I have Snape back in the Order with proof that he is on their side. I hope when I start posting it you will come and read my version of book seven. Hopefully I will get at least one or two chapters up before the Deathly Hallows is released. I am working very hard on it, and so far I am really proud of what I have written.
I will see you in the reviews I leave for your other stories, but it will probably be a few days before I get back to read them. I am on a roll with my writing right now and I donít want to mix up characters in my head.

Author's Response: Sure, I'll come read it when it's up. And if you're writing, don't feel obliged to come read anything of mine, really. I can get by. =D As for why you don't like Dumbledore ... well, fair enough. I guess that makes sense. But I still like him, I like the humour he has in him, although that rarely comes through any more (and I guess now he's gone it won't come through at all). Anyway, thanks again for all the great reviews.

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/04/07 19:55 · For: The Beginning
19-Very good descriptions and the letters from Remus and Dumbledore were enough to lead in to the trials and tribulations of the Triwizard Tournament and the necessary meetings between Harry and Sirius that are to come. You have him already in the cave before, the goblet named the champions. It never crossed my mind that he would already be there. But in the note he sent Harry he told him that he was well hidden, and I guess you could say that he really was. Even hidden from Harry. Good one. Going through the same parts as the books, only a bit skewed to the side is really good and I really like the twinkles at the end. They both know that it really will piss off a portrait. Canít wait for the next one.
20-Being back in that house and not being able to get out for any reason, must have been even more damaging to his psyche than being in Azkaban. I actually think he would be drinking firewhiskey rather than butterbeer. But hey, I am 36 and you are underage, so I think I would prefer you to write about drinking butterbeer, than any form of hard liquor. There you go, you just had to prove me wrong didnít you? The way this year unfolded was so unfair to Sirius and I hate the way it ended. Nothing in the books upset me as much as when Sirius died. Even with the explanation that Dumbledore gave Harry for not giving him Occlumency lessons himself, I was glad that you had Sirius give him a piece of his mind about it.
21-The last chapter made me want to cry just like when he died in OotP. I know I should have been expecting it, and I really was. But even when I re-read the OotP I still cry every time he falls. You did really well with the who greets whom parts. I like that they donít know why but that Remus will meet Tonks. That part had me chuckling. As far as your Oscar speech and questions, here are some answers.
1.What did I think? Great. Really enjoyed all of it.
2.Favorite Part? The Marauder Era, because he seemed happier then.
3.Favorite Character? Sirius of course!
4.Favorite Sirius quote? ďIt has something to do with us not being stupid.Ē Ch. 5
5.Favorite other person quote? ďHavenít you ever heard of denial? I just wanted to tell you, if you hurt either of them, youíll find yourself with a rather nasty case of being on fire.Ē Lily ch.6
6.Favorite couple? Sirius and Lola. She was good for him.
7.Saddest Part? Siriusí death of course.
8.Happiest part? All the times that Sirius got to be there for Harry, even if some of them were sad. Because he took his responsibility to Harry very seriously.
9.Most laughter? I think I already told you, but pretty much all of the pranks.
I am sad that it is over. I have read some of the other stories by you, and I will continue to read the others. As I do I will leave you with my fabulously witty reviews. See you there.

Author's Response: Hee hee. Glad you liked it all! Okay, for the last time, let's go through the chapter comments: 19: Lol, the thought of pissing off that portrait makes me smile even now, I wrote that so long ago ... 20: You're probably right about the Firewhiskey, but I'm sure there was a bit in the books where Harry said Sirius smelt of butterbeer ... perhaps after Arthur was attacked? I'm not sure. Anyway, that's why I opted for that particular beverage. And I never quite understood Dumbledore's mistake about Occlumency, so it was very gratifying to attack him because of it through Sirius. 21: Sorry if I made you cry ... I don't want that. I like that quote from ch6 Lily as well, and I'm glad you liked all the Marauder parts and pranks. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews, and I look forward to hearing from you about everything else! It's been a pleasure, see you soon!

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/04/07 18:34 · For: Harry
16-Not quite the way the books describe that night, but entertaining nonetheless. The mirror? I didnít even think about that. Claiming to be that vain was so absolutely Sirius that I had to stop reading to laugh for a minute or two or ten. Whoís counting? Transforming into a dog was a little late, but it worked. I can see why he would start laughing at the end. Never in the years they had known each other, had there ever been any clue that Peter could Ďmastermindí such a clever set up. Framing Sirius and getting away. I know that Voldemort masterminded the rest, but this part was all Peter. It makes you wish that Harry had let them kill him in PoA.
17- Yes that was a short chapter, but I think it hit all of the right spots. Very hard to write about twelve years of a life, when those twelve years are in a prison with Dementors and no interaction with other prisoners. I am glad that you wrote why he was in Little Whinging, and that he left as soon as the Knight Bus picked him up. Seeing his picture in the muggle newspaper must have really shocked him. But at least it let him know that he needed to be in dog form for the duration of his journey. Canít be expecting people to help if he is a escaped prisoner to wizard and muggle alike.
18-Treating the Fat Lady that way was uncalled for, but if she treated him like that in the books, then I really canít blame him for going off the deep end. He is only trying to help unmask a traitor, and keep Harry safe. At least I know what to get him as a Christmas present. Are you serious? Knowing Harry was okay, and seeing the broom get smashed is one thing. But for him to automatically think that, I had to stop reading for more laughter again. It is really hard to read when the screen is jumping around, because your whole body is shaking with laughter. I incline my head most regally to you for the ability to bring forth great big wonderful belly laughs. The cat is part Kneazle and as such is very smart. I think you did a really good job on the Shrieking Shack scene. The thoughts were a little disjointed, but I am sure they would be in a situation like that. I am impressed and canít wait to see what you do for the fourth year and beyond. See you at the end.

Author's Response: Aw, this review was a really good one! It makes me happy knowing you could laugh out loud at parts ... I think proclaiming his vainness would have been something out of desperation more than anything ... as for knowing what to get him for Christmas, that wasn't even intended to be funny at first, but I can see how it might be! Anyway. 16: You do wish Harry had let them kill Peter, but ever since POA I've had this feeling that Peter owing Harry his life (even if Harry doesn't want that) will turn out to be a crucial part of book seven. It would probably win him back a lot of honour if he gave himself to save Harry at the pivotal moment of the final battle. 17: Glad you liked the Azkaban bit, it was quite challenging. 18: Thanks for the great comments here as well. The thoughts are disjointed, but you're right: they would be in that situation. As for the Fat Lady ... yeah, that was hard to explain, I guess he just lost it. See you at the end, hope you enjoy it!

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/04/07 17:38 · For: Foreshadowing
13-Did Lola just predict her own death? Okay, I have to ask. Jack, English surfer dude, or a transplant from California? Either way, he is hilarious. Sirius is a brooding type of person, even though he usually plunges straight into whatever happens, he still broods. Plus he is insulting and scaring customers away. Somebody slap him and make him see reason. It must be hard being Lola. Knowing that so many of them will not make it through alive, and some of the ones that do will never be the same again. I hate to criticize, but your time line is skewed. Severus didnít come to Dumbledore until after James and Lily were killed. Right? Or at least until Harry had already been born. Unless this is the time frame they are in, and you just havenít mentioned Sirius being named godfather to Harry. Lily is such a good friend to Lola. Not asking her to not go, but just saying that she will miss her. I really hope that J.K. has something really nasty in mind for Bella in book seven. That %$*&^*$$*^%$*(&)()^$##@#&^)(&%#(*) person, has no place in any world, real or fiction. Muggle or Wizard, and I really hope she gets what is coming to her. Okay the pregnancy announcement makes some of the other parts to this review unnecessary, but I will leave them there, as they are my thought as I read.
14-the bantering between James and Lily is really cute, and actually a pretty accurate interpretation of married couples where both have a sense of humor. It is sad really that Remus was thought to be the spy and not Peter. Sirius had the unswerving trust of James and Lily, and Peter was trusted because they didnít think he had the gumption to be a spy, and poor Remus was the only choice left. Why in the world did everyone say they were Lilyís twin. Whenever I need to lie to a hospital person to get in I always say I am either a niece, or cousin. That way I donít have to explain my name being different. I always wanted to be a god of something, that is Sirius in one sentence.
15-So what did you do that was so bad with chapter fifteen? I covered Remus being the suspected spy already so I wonít say any more except Poor Remus. Please tell me Lala hasnít really walked into that shop as if nothing has occurred. That takes major gall. Still canít see her as anything remotely good. But if you say so, I guess she really is. I wonder how Sirius is going to get out of this one. Lala canít expect anything better than torture and death, I imagine. See you in three more.

Author's Response: 13: Yes, Lola predicted her own death, I just had that idea and thought it would be the most tragic thing that could ever happen to a seer ... I know the timeline is a bit askew, I'm going through to edit this fic because of those minor technical slip ups but it's taking quite a while, and I'm not usually in the right frame of mind ... but I'm definitely working on it. 14: Glad I got the banter right, considering I've never actually been married (after all, I'm only fifteen!) The twin thing was just something I added in for comedic value, looking back about a year later, it's not quite as funny as it was then ... but never mind. 15: Ah, that mistake I made ... I accidentally uploaded chapter 15 without even thinking about it, it was only when my friend (who reads stuff in advance) said tentatively that I'd missed a chapter out, that I realised. I had to put the right one in the queue, and move it up one, then put a note asking people not to read the already uploaded one because I'd made a mistake. In my defence, there was a lot of crazy stuff happening at that time with my family, so I wasn't quite my usual self. Still, it all worked out okay in the end. As for LaLa ... well, I know it's unconvincing. That's another bit I need to edit. I just wanted to show that she isn't core evil, she's just easily persuaded and a little unhinged. See you soon ...

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/04/07 16:40 · For: Joy
10-The pranks and ideas are great. I can see James and Lily waiting to tell everyone, and Sirius hoping to push things along and really messing things up. But I would have thought James might remember planning something to do with a Llama. Of course when you think said llama is your girlfriend, logic goes out the window. Sending Snape through the passageway to find Remus was really awful. I know he did it because Snape is an easy target for him, but James was right. Remus would never have gotten over biting, or killing him. And even though Sirius is the one who sent him there, Remus would have been the one to pay the price. The monthís detention, and points taken somehow doesnít seem enough for a trick of that magnitude. Finally Sirius and Lola get it right. Lockhart really has always been stuck on himself. It is kind of funny that the map waited for the twins, and then wound up in Harryís hands. If there were ever pranksters that could measure up to The Marauders, it was the Weasley twins. As you have already finished this story, I donít imagine that the names in the next chapter have Wendy in the list.
11-Some people think about what they will do after school well before they get out. But some others never realize that life after school usually involves getting jobs, or going in to specialized training for whatever careers they have chosen. Buying a shop out of boredom does not bode well for the future. Bella and Lala, such similarities, that I am appalled that I didnít see it earlier. She was in Ravenclaw, and I thought she should be in Slytherin, but it never crossed my mind that she would become a Death Eater. Dumbledore standing there amused at the display was classic. Even when they are clearly upset about something, he doesnít rush around doing meaningless things. He listens and responds with intelligence. I hope you picked up on the fact that Dumbledore is one of my least favorite characters in the books.
12-ĎLife is the longest thing you will ever have to endure.í Great line and also true. The applicants for the job were hilarious. I have actually interviewed people that were so clearly wrong for the job, that I can feel his pain. Having a Seer that close seems to be a good thing. I just wonder what is going to happen to her, because, Sybill is the one to make the prophecy about Harry. Port keys and anti-apparition jinxes. Then Sirius and Lola taking their places was really great. Letting James and Lily have a wedding night without having to fight was really nice of everyone. Although I expect both of them to be pretty angry they were left out of the fighting. Great job and I will see you in three more.

Author's Response: 10: Yeah, I think that with the werewolf thing, Sirius just wasn't thinking straight at all ... he probably thought it would be a laugh until James and his instinctive heroism (rather like someone else we know with the name Potter, messy hair and glasses ... who could that be?) showed him how wrong it could have turned out. I liked the idea of them deliberately losing the map, because really, would they have lost it by accident? Unless there was alcohol involved, I can't imagine them being that careless. 11: Why is Dumbledore your least favourite? It sounded as if you liked him. I've always liked him. And yes, Bella and LaLa, quite similar. Although LaLa is much more the tag along, wide eyed but desperate not to be rejected. After all she's never been stable, has she? 12: If Lily or James had got hurt on their wedding night, Sirius, Lola and the rest would never be able to live with themselves, so I'm sure any anger directed at them wasn't taken to heart. :D Thanks so much for reviewing!

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/04/07 15:21 · For: Together (Part I)
Okay, I am back again. I wouldíve been here sooner, but things kept getting gin my way.
7-Oh my god! Lockhart? That is just too funny. The mirrors just make you want to smile donít they? I know Harry had a problem with them, but for the two Marauders, they are great. It seems that as they get older, their egos grow exponentially. As much as we know about them, it seems to fit. The blatant use of hero-worship was classic Sirius. Lala, Iíll be your rescuer today. Perfect. The animagi transformation was really good. In PoA they talked about how much help Peter needed, I am assuming that it was with the spell part of the equation. Just out of curiosity, is there a explanation of the transformation anywhere? I donít remember reading about it in or on any site or book. If not, good job on the creativity. No matter what else goes on, for most boys, especially the ones on the team, nothing is more important than Quidditch. Tara seems to be just a way to kill time, and Lala seems to be what he needs at this particular time. Teenage boys donít usually think of two timing a girl. It just usually happens when they find something else that attracts their attention. Of course teenage boys have the attention spans of a hyperactive two year old.
8-I still think Mrs. Potter is a lot like Molly. No one that has a place in her heart, such as the friends of her son, can be allowed to be unhappy. Opening her home to Sirius and sending James to the christening with him was the way a good mother should be. Okay I take it back. Lala should be strung up and hexed by every girl in school. The way she tries to manipulate Sirius shows that she was sorted into the wrong house. She definitely should be in Slytherin. As much as I canít stand the guy, I actually feel a little sorry for Lockhart. He reminds me a little of Colin Creevey, and that boy is just too lovable to dislike. The way Lala let Tara know was extremely malicious, and I am glad that Tara at least slapped her. I think if was me I would have done a lot more than that.
9-Lola really is a good friend to Sirius. Even if they each wanted more at different times, a strong and true friendship was forged, and even anger canít stop it. I am glad you had her send the letter, because if Sirius had sent one he would have mucked it up even worse than it already was. James and Lily in the background, and Sirius not really paying attention, just saying I know is kinda funny. Laughing and joking with Lola is a good way to get back where they were before the Tara and Lala debacle. Setting things on fire seems to be a running thing with Sirius. And Lily mentioned it at one point too, are you a closet pyromaniac? Just a question, donít get upset. See you in three more.

Author's Response: Pyromaniac? Never! Lol, I don't know why the Maruaders seem so obsessed with setting things on fire, they're hardly the most careful of people. Me though, I'm so sensible it makes my head explode, that's probably why I prefer writing about more wild, interesting people like the Marauders. Okay, to the chapters: 7: Their egos are definitely growing, and the mirrors would indeed be the perfect tool! I think Sirius even said in his note coming with the mirror that they were good for detentions, although I can't imagine what everyone else thought seeing a guy talking to (seeminly himself unless you were right behind him) in a hand held mirror! Ah, the whole LaLa thing was certainly good fun at first, but I didn't like writing her later on ... you can guess why. And about the transformations - all my own imagination, I couldn't find evidence anywhere else on how to do it, so I basically just made it up. 8: I think Mrs Potter is most definitely like Molly. I'm sorry you don't like LaLa ... and she's not in Slytherin because she was never that twisted at first, it was the whole thing with Sirius that made her go so crazy ... she used to be a bright, ordinary girl. It's very sad if you think about it. I'm glad you liked the Lockhart stuff, as I had a LOT of fun with that! 9: Yes, Lola is definitely a good friend, despite those years apart ... not at all twisted like someone else we can name if we replace the 'o' with an 'a' ... Thanks for reviewing all these! See you again soon ...

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/03/07 23:13 · For: Not A Lot To Say
I think I will just put the number from now on, because typing out each chapter gets kind of tedious. So here are my thoughts on the next three.
4-Second year they came up with the name Marauders. And started the bigger pranks. Iím glad you have them staying true to what we know. True, we donít have as much background information on them as we do others, but so far you are doing pretty good with filling in the blank spots. I am hoping the friction will show up soon between Severus Snape and the Marauders. Well I got my wish a little later in the chapter. Good start to the feuds.

5-Mrs. Black is acting like Petunia again. Mrs. Potter reminds me of Molly Weasley. I have to hand it to you for creativity. Setting a book on fire was a little extreme, but it got the job done. Now I have to say, Donít do that again! Books are the gateways to other worlds, and should be respected. I have often told my children when one drops a book, that books have feelings too. I am pretty sure the books in the Hogwarts Library have even more feelings than regular books anyway. Did you write Siriusí story in parallel to Harryís on purpose or was it just a happy accident? I loved the answer to Remusí question of how they found out. It has something to do with us not being stupid. Well maybe not but it only took Hermione a little less than one school year to figure it out. Maybe she is just smarter than they are. Of course she had an essay assigned by Snape to push her in the right direction.

6-Mr. Potter has a weird sense of the finer things in life. I mean the Opera is all right, and art is fine, but wine and poker? For a child? An adult, maybe, but a child does not need to know much about things like that. Except not to drink, and no gambling with money until you earn it yourself. I should let my kids read the part about Remus reading a book and talking to his friends at the same time. They donít believe me when I say I am reading while I am talking to them or cooking them a meal, or pretty much anything except driving. I donít want to kill anybody after all. Sirius and Lola, or Tara, what a quandary. Everything I can remember about Sirius, in the books and in the fanfics say he was something of a ladies man all through school. Maybe it is because the one girl he liked slapped him silly on the Astronomy Tower one night. At least Remus knows the books can and will react in different ways if opened by the wrong people. As far as the Authors note about the ages of some characters, donít worry about it. I actually passed over that part without even noticing Ďwhení it was. You are doing really good and I canít wait to read more. It will have to wait until tomorrow though. I have my own chapters to type up. See you in the reviews tomorrow.

Author's Response: Woah, more long reviews, and great ones too! okay, starting from #4: Glad you are pleased with the Snape friction, I couldn't possibly have missed that out ... #5: I apologise for the fire, and agree wholeheartedly that books should be respected. I love books, me. Sirius was just making a point. As for Sirius / Harry being parrallell, it really was a happy accident, I honestly didn't realise what I was doing until one clever reviewer pointed it out. I like that line, too, it's very much the sort of thing I say on a daily basis. #6: Yes, Mr Potter is a bit strange ... but really, would James's parents be anything other than eccentric? And I'm sure the poker lesson and wine tasting came with very long lectures ... but the boys are what, 15 at this point? Anyway, you're right about the Sirius / Lola / Tara triangle, too. Very intuitive. And it gets even more complicted, too. See you again tomorrow! I've really enjoyed all of your reviews!

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 06/03/07 21:48 · For: Children Are The Future
This review encompasses the first three chapters. I usually do several chapters at a time, that way I can give more reaction, and opinion each time.
First chapter was really good. I like the fact that it was in first person, and it showed Siriusí range of emotion. The worst part of all of the books so far for me was the death of Sirius. I have read quite a few of the stories about what happened after he fell through the veil. So far yours is shaping up to be as good or better than most of them.
Second chapter, I never liked Siriusí mother. Any woman that could treat a child that they bore like something you might scrape off of a shoe ought to be horsewhipped. I wonder what dear old Mrs. Black would think if she knew she was acting just like a muggle woman named Petunia Dursley? Just a thought.
Third chapter, the ĎI solemnly swear that I am up to no goodí starting that in the first year was really funny. James and Sirius proclaiming they were the kings of the dorm was hilarious, and Remus and Peter being afraid of them was a good fit for what the books have given us. Remus was scared of losing his friends if he was found out. And Peter the little git, was just plain scared of them. Vary good start to what I think will be a great story.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks, another great review ... and a long one! I don't actually think the early chapters are much good (at all) because this was the first chaptered fic I ever posted (write after The Art Of The Quill) and so they're still very basic. I'm actually going back and editing the earlier chapters, but it's taking a while, I've had a lot to do recently.

Name: Brunette Lily (Signed) · Date: 05/19/07 21:04 · For: The Beginning
This was an interesting take on Sirius's life, and I read it straight through, except when I stopped to eat dinner. I liked the later chapters the best, once they were out of Hogwarts, but I don't know why. The funniest part was definitely Lily's "quintuplet" ( I think) siblings, then Jack and Penny saying that they were their good friends and being let in no problem! I still giggle as I think about it now...

Author's Response: Lol, I wrote that bit when I was on holiday last year, it was so much fun! I'm glad you liked it - and, indeed, the whole story. The reason you liked the later chapters better is probably because they ARE better; my writing improved A LOT through this fic, you can probably tell. Anyway, I'm going back and editting the earlier ones at the moment so hopefully it will soon all be good!

Name: jjceeyore (Signed) · Date: 05/17/07 4:09 · For: The Beginning
that was so good i cryed through the hole thing

Author's Response: Oh! Even the bits that weren't sad? I'm sorry, I don't want to make anyone cry! I'm currently editing the first few chapters of this because I don't actually think it's as good as some of my later work ... but I'm glad you still liked it anyway!

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