I think you did Harry fairly well, actually. I think he would be angry and frustrated and depressed. I also think he'd be fed up with the Dursleys.
I loved the line about him not having to hear about Snape at the Dursleys. I laughed out loud at that one. I, too, think Petunia's gonna let a bomb drop about ol' Snape.
Author's Response: That was done as an afterthought, actually. Harry was all ready to never have to hear about Snape, at least for the next couple weeks, and then he's in the paper and his Aunt recognizes him. ::shakes head:: Poor Harry
Mmm, nice. I found all the canon characters to be *wonderfully* in character, save for the bit where Snape is wiling to reveal himself in front of Wormtail. HOWEVER! I'm willing to see where you take that. Actually, that he was willing to reveal his plans at all, although you might have needed to state that. As I'm only on chapter 1, that's entirely possible. I'm also dreadfully curious to find out who this Muggle man is.
I really like the touch of Voldemort's healing leaving scars.
I like what you're doing with Snape. So far. ;)
Author's Response: Yeah, I've actually had a lot of people tell me that that wasn't a Snape thing to do. But, he wasn't really counting on Wormtail to be there, nor was he counting on Voldemort to be leaving Wormtail back with him again, now that he's, er, "proved his worth".
i want chapter 5 NOW!!!! i love this story. it's amazing. hurry up with the next chapter, it's torture waiting!!!
Author's Response: It's coming, I promise! I had a few character bumps that I needed worked out, but the MNFF boards helped me a lot. Now, I've just got to find out where my muse has gotten to....
So...I bet you can guess what I'm going to say...Yes I love this chapter. I love that Aunt Petunia finally told Harry all he needed to know, and that Harry told her what she needed to know. You did it in a way that still fit all the characters, a hard thing. Lily's conversation with Snape was great, enlightening. I like how you work in little details, it makes the story seem real. No matter how hard life gets, the little things are always there. By the way....I both love and hate the cliff hanger (if you know what I mean). I might like this chapter better than the last, but haven't decided for sure yet. That's a good sign for you though. Good job and good luck! I'm greatly looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Yes, cliffhangers are usually doom, but I had to do it. It seemed right ;)
I definately agree with Harry's newfound determination and "studying." It's all up to him now and he knows it. Acutally, I love this entire chapter I might even go so far as to say that I love it more than any of the previous ones, but don't hold me to that. I like hearing Harry's thoughts and inner turmoil. I think Hermione's right about everything and her arguments fit her character. I'd love to find out more about what Aunt Petunia knows (I knew it was coming!) and about Snape's past. I also think that Ron would agree with her in this case. I really think you have the personality of these characters down in this chapter. Once again, good job and good luck!
Author's Response: Aside from Chapter One, I think this is my favorite chapter to have written as well, even if it is long and contains a lot of info. It was just fun to write, going from Snape's confession in the Prophet to the wedding, back to the Trio.
Well, It was a long chapter so I hope I remember everything I wanted to say (not that I mind long chapters!)
I like the way you put in details about the Burrow's wedding decorations etc. Little things really make the difference
I like the info on Snape. It adds a whole new demention to the Snape-is-evil idea and will make it that much harder for Harry to ever forgive him. It adds a necessary depth.
I love the argument within Harry's head. It fits his character.
I like the interaction btwn Harry and Ginny. I'm glad you didn't make them get back together right away.
I like the sense of Harry feeling overwhelmed and wondering about how his life changed so much. It's very realistic. I'm glad he's not too depressed. I like the comfort from Ron and Hermione, it's very real.
I like the dream and the connection drawn there. The idea of Snape planting it is fascinating.
Fred and Geroge's band and scene was great. Laughter is always good now and then.
I like what you did with the wedding. I see that you had "help" but I still like it. And did Ginny purposely set Harry up with Aunt Tessy? That's great!
I really like the story so far, I like the attention to detail and the characters seem very accurate. Good job and Good luck!
Author's Response: Is Snape evil? ;) Detailing the Burrow was hard. Like I said in an earlier response, I don't do details with settings very well. Definitely need the 'Harry arguing with himself' in there, like in HBP. It'll set things up for later on, too. I'm glad no one thought the "dream" was too obvious. I was kind of unsure if I should do it or not. I have no idea where the Fred and George marching band came from, actually haha. I was just writing and it kind of popped out of my head. I hadn't really thought about Ginny setting Harry up with Aunt Tessy, but that's a pretty good idea. Maybe... Ginny is a trouble maker sometimes.
Once again, I like what you've done. I love Uncle Vernon's response to the invisibility cloak. Also, I like what you did with Dudley. I'm not sure if he's supposed to be that intellegent but I think it's very possible that he is. I think it shook Harry to hear those words from Dudley, and I think he needed to hear them. I'm rambling...I hope we find out what Aunt Petunia was wanting to say. Reading on now...
Author's Response: Rowling said that she actually feels quite sorry for Dudley. I tend to think he's a lot different than how he acts, because of how his parents treated him. I guess I just wanted to show that a little bit.
I know what you mean about just having to get this chapter out of the way, but I like it a lot. I agree that Harry would be having similar difficulties to what he faced in OotP. I think you portrayed him well, but I understand also how although we've read from Harry's poing of view since the beginning, he's still hard to write. I don't know why either. The other characters were really good. I'm glad you used the phone, I never understood why Harry and Hermione never used the phone before. I like the detail you put into your writing, it's not just brief description and dialogue. I can't wait to read more. Good job and good luck!
Author's Response: Yeah, that always struck me as odd, too. I understand why she never called him in CoS after what happened with Ron, but he could have always called her instead.
Hey, I'm a new reader. I thought i should review in case I decide to write my own story, that way I get reviews in return. Anyway, I love it so far. I really wanted to know what happened to Snape and Malfoy and I like what you've done.
I just realized I hadn't yet said anything of value to a writer. I like your style. It's not rushed like others I've read and you take the time to develop situations with description and thoughts. So far I think you've done a good job sticking to the characters. I can't wait to see how Malfoy gets along with a Muggle!
I can't wait to read more. Good luck!
Author's Response: Thank you. I tend to be very descriptive when it comes to my characters. Surroundings on the other hand... my sister is better with that stuff lol
Hey, I'm a new reader. I thought i should review in case I decide to write my own story, that way I get reviews in return. Anyway, I love it so far. I really wanted to know what happened to Snape and Malfoy and I like what you've done. I can't wait to read more. Good luck!
Author's Response: Thanks :) We'll get back to Snape soon.
OMG!!! I love this story!!! My friend printed it out and brought it to school (which for us starts at 7:30 am) and by 2:30 when we got out I had finnished it!!! I was hooked only a few pages in!!! Great job! Please Keep going!!!
Author's Response: Hahah, yeah, someone in one of my previous reviews said that they printed it out for their friends. I'm so glad that you liked it.
Author's Response: Thanks :)
OMG!!! This is getting good. I really loved this chapter. Update asap!!! =)
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked :)
aAll my HP fanfic reading friends love this story!!! I printed it out(all 67 pages of it) and brought it to school. I then gave them the link so they could check the rest of it when it updated. Speaking of which... please update soon!!!!!
Author's Response: Is it 67 pages? In Word it's only 50 something LOL. Wow, sorry to take up all your ink. But I'm really glad you and your friends liked it. It makes me all warm and fuzzy ;)
Wow! Exciting cliffhanger! this is a really good fan fic!!! i hope the real book 7 is half as good!
Author's Response: Thank you! And I think we can all expect Jo to write about ten times better than me ;) Cliffhangers are usually doom... but I had to do it. Glad you liked
This story is awesome so far! Please update soon, I need to know what happens!
Author's Response: Thank you! Chapter Five is about 25% done right about now, so should be up later this month :)
OoOo That's definitely not good. I do think that this is my favorite "making amends with the Dursleys" scene though. Good job!
Author's Response: Yeah... I was in two minds about the "amends" thing, because I know a lot of people either want that or are doing that. The Dursleys and Harry will never really make amends. Aunt Petunia just knew that she needed to tell Harry some things before he left for good. And Harry needed to stop being a brat and realize that they DID take care of him for 16 years. They never had to... Dumbledore said that himself. So, I wanted him to grow up a little bit. Oh, and what's not good? What happened or the actual chapter? lol
I love this fic ... it is so good, and the first chapter seems absolutely perfect when it comes to characters and plot ... *adds to favourites* Keep up the great work!
~ Ermine the One
Author's Response: Wow, thank you. Still waiting for the rest of chapter three to get validated, and then I'll have Chapter Four up as soon as that goes through
so far this is a super bit of writing, your style is exelent and enjoyable. keep going if you can.
Author's Response: Thank you very much :)
yeh i think ur beta was right- definately more harry this time. i also liked the bit about dudley nd how u show him as not being a complete idiot, you certainly have changed my view of him.
Author's Response: That's good that you agree that Harry seems right now. And yeah, I was really tired of Dudley being a super moron. Just because he sits around all day doesn't mean he doesn't pick things up.